Your hair is messy (16)
Naoki travels to a parallel universe where Kotoko doesn't love him. (2013 Japanese TV series)
32
Kotoko saw the sneaky little girl again. She had appeared near Irie's house not long ago and bumped into Kotoko while running away.
She appeared again today, wearing the school uniform of Dounan Middle School. She seemed to be a student who had just finished class. She did not go home after school and did not know what she was spying on at other people's doorsteps.
Kotoko caught her red-handed and later learned that her name was Hao Mei, she was the same age as Yuuki, and was a student in Class F of Dounan Junior High School.
"Exactly the same! I used to be a student in Class F too!"
Hao Mei smiled shyly, not looking surprised: "I know, you are Yuki's brother's girlfriend."
Qinzi: "..."
In just a moment, Kotoko's originally sunny mood immediately turned cloudy.
She took a deep breath and, before Hao Mei noticed her displeasure, changed the subject: "Hao Mei, what do you like about Yuki?"
If Kotoko asked that, Hao Mei wouldn't be tired anymore. She could easily list a lot of advantages of her beloved and praise Yuki to the skies.
Kotoko is completely unable to empathize with others because she has never thought that Yuki is that good. He is just a smaller version of Naoki, even more difficult to get along with than Naoki. He just makes a bad face for no reason every day and calls people "idiot" all the time. If you just treat him as a younger brother, you can forgive him because of his cute and handsome appearance, but if you treat him as a lover, it is so suffocating.
Kotoko could imagine that if one day Hao Mei also became the so-called "chosen heroine" of Dounan Junior High School, she would definitely follow the same path as her. Yuuki needed even less reason to lose his temper than Naoki did, because he was the genius little Irie who could rival his brother, and he was also the youngest son in the family who was loved by everyone. Irie's mother even moved to a new house to arrange a new room for him.
Kotoko doesn't think highly of Hao Mei's relationship, but she's still willing to support her because in Hao Mei's story, "Yuki" doesn't correspond to "Naoki" but "Sano," and Kotoko hopes her regrets can end with someone else.
"So beautiful, you must be brave. While there is still time, you must seize the time and pursue true love fearlessly!"
Hao Mei was greatly encouraged: "Then Kotoko-nee, can you teach me? How did you make Irie's brother like you?"
"I don't know either." This question has always been a blind spot for Kotoko. "Maybe other girls haven't had as many opportunities to spend time with Irie-kun as I have. I guess I was in the right place at the right time, and I fell in love with him over time?"
"Ah, but I heard that before Kotoko-sama moved into Irie's house, Irie-sama took the initiative to raise funds for you. He doesn't usually seem to be a warm-hearted person, is he? You didn't know each other at that time, so wasn't it love at first sight?"
Kotoko recalled how she had made a fool of herself at the school gate, and she really couldn't find any romantic beauty in the picture. Although falling in love with someone over time was untenable, love at first sight was obviously even more unreliable. Just like when she and Sano first met, if Sano had accidentally fallen flat on his face in front of her, she would definitely not have been moved by his fall. The only thing that could make her miss him was the distant, beautiful boy in the sun.
Kotoko won't tell Haomi what's on her mind, and Haomi won't understand either. No one can understand.
"Anyway, I will try my best to create opportunities for you to spend time with Yuki. You should be prepared and do your best."
The reason why Haomei was asked to prepare first instead of directly entering into actual combat was because Kotoko had to go back to her hometown to pay homage to her deceased mother and would be away for a while.
Renzi suggested, "Then you can bring Irie-kun back this year!"
"No," Kotoko refused. "Irie-kun and I are still in the adjustment period."
"What are you still trying to get used to?! You and Irie have been dating for over three years! They're already worn out! Satomi was dating at the same time as you two, and she's already a mother! It's almost time for you and Irie to get married, right? Of course you should bring her home to meet your parents as soon as possible!"
Kotoko ignored Renko's words, saying, "Good things take time. There's no need to rush. Besides, our relatives are annoying, and Irie-kun will be upset later. It's fine if Dad and I go back together."
After Kotoko returned to her hometown, Irie continued to devote herself to her studies, and then took time to call Kotoko every night. He could always hear a lot of noise from her end, which was unusually lively. Kotoko had no intention of introducing her family to Irie or sharing her daily life. She would hang up after just a few words. It was either because some naughty kid provoked her and she was anxious to compete with him, or because some elder had snatched the phone away again. In order to prevent them from talking nonsense, Kotoko directly hung up the phone and never called back.
Irie's mother comforted her: "In love, it's impossible to be in the passionate stage all the time. A simple and warm relationship is also good."
Irie wanted to ask, his relationship with Kotoko was dull enough, almost cold, where was the warmth? He didn't expect to be in the passionate love phase forever, but at least let him experience the passionate love phase for a while.
Then Irie began to console himself again, telling himself not to hold onto his hopes for Kotoko, or he'd be driven mad. Actually, it was good now; he wouldn't be tormented by disappointment and sleepless nights, because with Kotoko's current performance, there was basically no room for improvement.
As a result, fate gave Rujiang a heavy slap in the face when he was off guard.
The incident started when Irie happened to meet his high school classmate in the hospital. With his excellent memory, he remembered that the other party was Sano's friend and that Kotoko had given him the nickname "Tall Guy" because he was indeed very tall and big, like a giant, occupying the entire hospital bed.
"Big Tall Guy" is lively and active, and he enjoys eating anything. While absorbing nutrients from large amounts of food, he also enjoys various sports, making himself strong and healthy. However, because of his good appetite, he accidentally ate some unclean things, which caused him to vomit and have diarrhea, and he was admitted to the hospital overnight.
Irie was allergic to the word "Sano". When he saw the big guy, he started to feel uncomfortable all over, as if he was the one with food poisoning.
"Sano" was his shadow, his nightmare, his lifelong enemy. Anyone or anything connected to "Sano" could bring about catastrophic misfortune at any time, easily ruining Irie's good mood for months.
Sure enough, this time is no exception.
The "big fool" had no sense of boundaries and took the initiative to gossip about Irie and Kotoko's relationship: "How long have you been together?"
"Three years."
"I met Aihara Kotoko on Christmas Eve three years ago. She asked me about Sano, and when I told her he had a girlfriend, she was so upset I was afraid she'd burst into tears in front of me. It was so strange. What did Sano having a girlfriend have to do with her?... By the way, you weren't together at that time, right?"
“…”
Another thunderbolt exploded in Irie's mind, and he felt so nauseous that he almost vomited.
So it was really because of Sano. Kotoko abandoned him back then, really for Sano Hidekazu!
Thanks to him for making a special phone call to confirm Sano's whereabouts, and knowing that the other party had stayed in Hokkaido, he breathed a sigh of relief. However, he didn't know that the other party didn't have to go back to Tokyo in person. Sano was thousands of miles away and could still easily ruin his Christmas Eve appointment.
How could he be so stupid, so pathetic.
Irie felt like he couldn't breathe, and despair was about to kill him. Fortunately, his rationality was still trying to save him, helping him to get rid of his fatal emotions, and analyzing for him calmly and clearly: he shouldn't be angry about this.
On Christmas Eve three years ago, Kotoko and Irie had not yet officially started dating. They were both free physically and mentally, so it was reasonable for Kotoko to cry for anyone. Besides, Irie had already known that she liked Sano. It takes a transition process to forget someone from your heart and accept a new one.
If it weren't for the blow that happened on Christmas Eve, Kotoko probably wouldn't have been able to make up her mind to let go of the past for a while. How could this not be considered a breaking point in their relationship?
Even if Irie really couldn't accept it and wanted to have another big fight with Kotoko over this old account, the consequences of the fight were completely predictable. Kotoko wouldn't quarrel with Irie. She would avoid the main issue and say, "It's all in the past. Why should you take it seriously, Irie?" Or she would just apologize. That was all Kotoko could do for Irie.
If Irie refused to back down from the situation she gave him and continued to be angry with her, Kotoko would just throw him aside and let him be angry for as long as he wanted, as it wouldn't affect her happy life anyway.
Unless Irie can make up his mind to break up with Kotoko, even if the world goes to pieces, he will be the one who bows in the end.
But how could he break up with Kotoko? She was the one he had finally gotten after living a whole life!
The Kotoko of the past had completely become a vague memory as time passed. The Kotoko of today might not be the lover Irie had envisioned, but she was the only one he could have.
That's Qinzi!
Compared to losing Kotoko, those past mistakes naturally became insignificant. Irie only knew that they were together now, and this was what he wanted! He was content with the status quo. He held on to Kotoko and would never let go for someone who was not worthy.
The smug monster in the dream once again transformed into Sano's appearance. As expected, he did not disappear. In the moment when Irie was in a trance, he reappeared in front of him, as if waiting to see Irie's joke, as if saying to him: "See, you and Kotoko will not have a happy ending, because I took her away. You gave her to me with your own hands."
Irie blinked, and the monster disappeared, retreating back into the darkness, waiting to exploit Irie's weakness and steal the one and only treasure in his life.
Irie will not let it succeed, but his forbearance and compromise make him feel even more pathetic.
In the next few days, Irie didn't call Kotoko again, and Kotoko didn't call him, not even once.
33
Haomei's relationship is not going well. She listens to Kotoko and bravely intercepts Yuuki on the way home from school, wanting to be friends with him, but Yuuki says that he doesn't want to be friends with the idiots in Class F unless Haomei can successfully get into the top 100 in the grade in the next exam.
Kotoko seemed to have heard a similar story somewhere before: "Both of those brothers are so obsessed with being in the top 100 in their grade. Irie-kun asked me to do the same thing before."
"So what did Kotoko-nee do then?"
"I didn't do anything."
Not only did Kotoko fail to rank in the top 100 in the exam, she also found all kinds of excuses to withdraw from Irie's personal tutoring. However, her experience was of no reference value to Haomei, because Kotoko never thought of making friends with Irie in high school. Avoiding Irie was her primary goal, and she certainly would not listen to Irie.
Haomei was so envious: "Sister Kotoko, you are so lucky. Even if you didn't make the top 100, Brother Irie still likes you."
Kotoko was too embarrassed to say it. Wasn't it just that Haomei was just unlucky? With so many people in the world, why would she choose to fall for Yuuki? Wasn't this destined to be bad luck?
That guy sets such a high bar for making friends: "You have to be in the top 100 first." When they get to the point of marriage, won't he make Hao Mei win a Nobel Prize? Even his brother knows to offer to tutor girls!
Wait, Kotoko suddenly got an inspiration, she planned to let Yuki give Haomei tutoring.
Under normal circumstances, Yuki would definitely not listen to Kotoko obediently, and the best strategy would be to outsmart her.
Kotoko's IQ was rarely online. She bought a lot of snacks and asked Yuki for help. However, the food bribe was only a small part of her plan. The important thing was the words.
After years of observation, Kotoko discovered that Hiroki's dislike for her stemmed from a deep sense of brotherly affection. Hiroki felt deeply for his brother, perhaps subconsciously believing he deserved the best woman in the world. Kotoko's failure to meet this expectation irritated him, leading him to become angry. This suggests that Hiroki's weakness was his brother, Naoki.
So when Kotoko was chatting with him, she deliberately confided in him her recent troubles: "Hiroki, do you know Sagawa Homi? She's someone I know, a niece who knows a lot of people. She goes to Dounan Junior High School. She's someone I know and she wants me to help her with her homework, but studying is the worst thing I'm afraid I'll have to trouble Irie-kun often in the future."
"Hey!" Yuki had fallen for the trap. He flew into a rage at Kotoko, "My brother is about to take the national medical qualification exam, and you've never made him a midnight snack, stayed up all night with him, or asked him if he was tired. And now you're actually causing him trouble? No matter how cold-blooded you are, there has to be a limit!"
Kotoko admitted that she did not care enough about Irie, and she was not completely without guilt. Since she learned that Irie liked her, the emotion Kotoko invested most in Irie was guilt. The guilt became too much and gradually turned into a kind of numbness. In the end, even if she felt guilt, it was only a fleeting guilt.
Cold-blooded? Maybe.
There were too many moments when Irie made her unhappy. Kotoko couldn't torture herself with the so-called guilt anymore. She had to have a chance to breathe.
Facing Yuki's accusations, Kotoko played dumb as usual and continued with her original plan: "I also want to share Irie-kun's burden, so I came to you. You're as smart as Irie-kun, so a small matter like tutoring is definitely no problem for you. Please, Yuki, please help me! Just think of it as helping Irie-kun, okay?"
Kotoko successfully controlled Yuki, and the matchmaker operation achieved a qualitative leap.
However, a smooth start does not mean that the subsequent development will be smooth. It is difficult to describe the relationship between Yuki and Yoshimi.
Kotoko really hadn't misjudged Yuki. He was as unstable as his brother, he could turn against someone at any time and reconcile at any time. He played both the good cop and the bad cop, making Hao Mei laugh and cry, cry and laugh again.
Kotoko was apprehensive. Seeing Haomei jump into the fire pit, she was extremely reluctant, selfishly speaking. But she couldn't resist Haomei's affection. Perhaps everyone's pursuits were different. She couldn't even control her own heart, so how could she control someone else's? That was all.
As for Irie's exam, Kotoko didn't care and thought there was no need to care. If Irie couldn't pass the exam, then the pass rate for this year's national exam would be 0.
Irie passed the exam without a hitch, and the whole family was overjoyed. They planned to throw a celebration party for him on his graduation day. But as luck would have it, someone came to pour cold water on his hopes. Irie, ever the professional, looked at the excited crowd and announced with a deadpan expression, "I have something to discuss with everyone. The professor wanted to talk to me today, and I'm planning to work at a hospital in Kobe."
It was said to be a discussion, but the tone did not sound like something that could be negotiated.
Everyone was caught off guard by Irie's sudden decision.
Irie thought that if he wanted to further study his professional field, he had to go to a professional hospital. Since Kobe was too far away from Tokyo, it would take at least six hours to drive back and forth, so he decided to move out of his home temporarily and find a house to live in Kobe.
Irie's mother was the first to disagree: "Brother, if you leave, what will happen to Kotoko? Long-distance relationships are hard. You will be separated for a long time and you won't be able to see each other every day like you do now. Please don't just think about yourself, think about Kotoko's feelings too, okay?"
Kotoko, who was daydreaming, instantly became the focus of attention in the room.
No, why is she the focus of the room? Irie is going to Kobe, what does it have to do with her?
Kotoko touched the goose bumps on her arms and said in confusion: "Ah, don't consider me. I believe that Irie-kun has his reasons for any decision he makes. I am willing to support him."
Irie's mother tried to persuade Irie to no avail, and seeing that Kotoko had compromised without objection, she could only comfort herself dejectedly, "Kotoko is so considerate. She's willing to forgive her brother like this. Okay... But there's only a year left before Kotoko graduates. By then, she can go to Kobe to work, and you two can be together again..."
"Um, Auntie..." Kotoko weakly interrupted Irie's mother: "After I graduate, I will stay in the hospital of Dounan University and will not go to Kobe."
Kotoko said "no", leaving no room for negotiation.
Irie's mother was in disbelief and was speechless for a moment.
Naoki is going to Kobe and Kotoko is staying in Tokyo, so the gap between them will last far longer than a year. Irie is also aware of this problem. Kotoko's insistence on staying in Tokyo is obviously beyond his expectations.
After a long silence, Irie looked at Kotoko and said, "Don't you dream of becoming a good nurse? Kobe Hospital is also a platform for you to train. I'm here to guide you, which is better than fighting alone."
"I'm not fighting this alone. Akan Marina and the others will help me." Kotoko calmly told Irie her thoughts. "Tokyo is where I grew up. I don't want to leave my familiar hometown, and I don't have the confidence to live, study, and work in a completely unfamiliar environment. Besides, Irie-kun shouldn't have time to take care of me after he becomes a doctor. I don't want to cause him any trouble. Anyway, I'm not going to Kobe."
"Do you understand what this means?"
"I understand. Does this mean we should work separately for a while, and then make progress together?"
"No, you don't understand." Irie's face was terribly pale. He stared at her straight, his eyes almost bleeding. "You didn't think that we would be separated for a long time, and that this kind of life would have no end. You didn't think that we would often not see each other in the future, and that we would gradually get used to living without each other. Because you didn't care in the first place, even if we were separated, you didn't care at all, and you wouldn't feel pain even if you couldn't see me!"
Irie's sudden outburst undoubtedly made tonight's heavy family meeting even worse, and the situation got further out of control. Kotoko, who had always been submissive, suddenly became sharp in the eyes under Irie's questioning. She had also reached the edge of her intolerance after long-term repression.
"Why are you mad at me again?" Kotoko looked at Irie fearlessly. She couldn't even hear her own sound. She could only hear the pounding of her heart in her chest, like a mad beast that was about to break free from its cage and swallow her up.
"Wasn't it Irie-kun's decision to go to Kobe? Why are you blaming me for no reason? We won't lose each other. I'll go to Kobe to see you when I have time. You don't need to waste time and effort. I'll be the one running back and forth. Isn't that okay?!"
"Do you have time? When will you have time? You went back to your hometown and didn't even have time to call me. When will you have time to travel?"
"I don't want to lie to you, Irie-kun, but you often interact with nurses, so you should understand that once I'm truly competent in this profession, I'll be increasingly busy. I've been muddled for most of my life, and for the first time, I've found a goal I want to strive for. The focus of my life is destined to lean in this direction."
"What about me? I'll always be the least important option in your life. Do I deserve to be forgotten by you?"
"So what do you want me to do? I understand and accept your career plan for your life, so why can't you understand my life plan? If you really think we can't be separated, then please stay. If you can't even do it yourself, why do you ask me to do it? I didn't become a nurse for you, and I don't live for you!"
"Kotoko!"
Before she could say anything more hurtful, Aihara's father quickly scolded her, which was like a loud alarm bell that awakened Kotoko to her senses.
Then she saw everyone in the room looking at each other in confusion, all looking at her as if they had seen a ghost, as if she had become a different person in an instant and was not Kotoko at all.
The beast in my heart has disappeared, but how can I deal with the mess it has made?
Kotoko racked her brains to think of a way to smooth things over and make amends for her previous recklessness, but Irie didn't give her a chance. He stood up and went straight upstairs to his room.
So Qinzi thought, forget it.
Never mind, Irie made her suffer, and at least tonight, she didn't want to face him.
tbc
A big reason why Irie got angry was Sano. He was bothered by Kotoko's past love for Sano, so he wanted to confirm Kotoko's current love for him over and over again, but Kotoko's performance seemed more like she didn't love him, so Irie went crazy.
As for b-Kotoko, she has no love filter and really can't stand Irie. Since high school, you can see b-Kotoko often complaining about Irie in her heart. She is more moved when she is with Irie.
Also, the people Kotoko likes and cares about all think Irie is good and hope they can be together. Kotoko thinks that since there's no chance for her and Sano anyway, and she likes Irie (like a brother), choosing Irie makes everyone happy, so what's wrong with that? Although Irie's personality is sometimes a little weird, no one is perfect, so it's not a big deal.
(The family expressing their affection for Irie and forcing them to be together are two different things. The former is why Kotoko chose Irie, and the latter is why Kotoko resisted Irie. The family and friends did both, but in fact, just expressing their affection without forcing them to be together would have been enough. Forcing them to be together would have been counterproductive.)
Just look at Kotoko's evaluation of Yuki - "If you only regard him as a cute younger brother, it's okay to be willful, but treating him as a boyfriend is too suffocating." This template also applies to Irie. Kotoko used to regard Naoki as a reliable brother, so she didn't hate him. She also thought that this feeling would slowly turn into love.
Just like after Irie and Oizumi Sahoko got engaged, A-Kotoko chose to give it a try with Kin. A-Kotoko didn't hate Kin at all. She was so happy with Kin, and Kin doted on her and cooked delicious food. Since it was impossible to be with Irie, she might as well accept Kin. But after really trying, she found out that it didn't work.
But as mentioned before, the relationship between Kotoko and Kin was just between the two of them, so they were able to cut their losses as soon as they realized it wasn't working out. Kotoko and Irie were different. Kotoko had to consider Irie's mother's feelings, Irie's father's feelings, and her own father's feelings, not to mention the countless voices from the outside world. Kotoko couldn't handle such a complicated matter, so she didn't deal with it. She couldn't initiate the breakup, so she waited for Irie to initiate it.
One thing Kotoko knows she's a scumbag is that she has Sano as her love interest. But she also has other scumbag traits she's unaware of. For example, she feels like she's been the one enduring it all while being with Irie, and others share that perception. Kotoko's appearance and demeanor are gentle and harmless, and she always remains silent in the face of Irie's rage, seemingly giving in.
Did b-Kotoko really give up? Just look at a-Kotoko and you'll know she didn't. a-Kotoko's concession is, I'm willing to put your feelings first, I just hope our relationship can last long.
And B Qinzi is like, I don’t care what the reason for your temper is, even if there is a problem with me, you should stop showing me a bad face. I am already giving in to you by not getting angry back, and it is a big sacrifice for me.
Kotoko's "concession" is essentially an escape from the problem and a form of oppression towards Irie. She only gives Irie two choices: either forgive me and take the initiative to make concessions, or I will remain silent forever and we will continue to waste time.
So we can see that every time, it is Irie who compromises. If B-Kotoko gives him a way out, he has to give in. If B-Kotoko coaxes him, he has to accept it. B-Kotoko just puts on a "retreat" posture to force Irie to bow down, but she herself does not realize it. She thinks she is enduring and she is the most wronged.
After enduring till now, B Qinzi couldn't bear it any longer. She didn't want to explode, but she couldn't control herself. There would be a second time after the first time, and their conflict would only become more and more out of control.
During this three-year relationship, only Irie grew, while b. Kotoko remained stagnant. She was unwilling to make progress for Irie, so she was willing to "tolerate" him, not for him. Just like in a. time, Kotoko worked hard to learn to be a good wife to Irie in life and a good assistant at work, but Irie would always be the Irie of high school.
In fact, many of the ways that B-Kotoko hurts Irie are the ones that Irie used to hurt A-Kotoko before. If you are interested, you can take a closer look.
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