Your hair is messy (15)
Naoki travels to a parallel universe where Kotoko doesn't love him. (2013 Japanese TV series)
30
Kotoko is in a bad mood.
She is different from Irie. Even if she is in a bad mood, she will not show her displeasure to others for no reason. Therefore, she always endures her unhappiness and chooses to avoid Irie. She puts on a smile in front of people around her and tries to maintain superficial peace. However, since she is not good at acting, anyone can see through her disguise.
Everyone agreed that Kotoko was angry with Irie because he missed her once-in-a-lifetime hat-wearing ceremony.
Even Funatsu, whose relationship has not been confirmed, came to give flowers to Marina, but Kotoko's fiancé Irie did not show up. If it weren't for Akan and Keita's kindness in ordering a bouquet of flowers for her, Kotoko would have been the only girl in the audience who didn't receive any flowers.
Irie's mother was so disappointed: "Brother, what are you thinking? Is that meeting really that important?! Second-place finisher Funatsu can skip it, so why can't you ask for leave?!"
Irie didn't want to discuss his studies with his mother. He'd made becoming a good doctor his lifelong goal, so he naturally seized every opportunity to improve. Kotoko simply didn't receive flowers, so why should she be upset? Her once-in-a-lifetime hat-wearing ceremony went off without a hitch!
Moreover, Irie did not think that this was the reason for Kotoko's low mood. It should be related to him, but not to the hat-wearing ceremony. Irie remembered that when he told Kotoko in advance that he would go to Nagoya for a meeting, Kotoko readily accepted it.
Even if she could be unhappy like she was now and say, "But I want to receive flowers from Irie-kun at the hat-wearing ceremony. It's very important to me.", Irie would probably ask for leave for her, but Kotoko said nothing.
She started to feel unhappy from the moment she saw Irie after the hat-wearing ceremony.
Besides, why should Kotoko mind that he didn't send flowers? The matter with Sano Hidekazu hasn't been resolved yet!
Irie was furious. Yes, even after several months, he was still furious. This rage constantly seared his internal organs, keeping him awake at night, and pushing him to the brink of madness.
Irie wanted to wipe out every trace of Sano Hidekazu from his life, including his high school graduation photo, which was now shattered and lying in the trash.
Because Irie had seen his mother sitting on the sofa, discussing the class A photo of Dounan High School with Kotoko. Their topic of course revolved around Irie, but Irie didn't care. He knew that Sano must be in the photo. He couldn't stand Sano, and he couldn't stand Kotoko's gaze secretly falling on Sano's face. He began to miss him secretly under the name of "surprise".
Even if she didn't miss him, and just glanced at Sano with an emotionless look, Irie wouldn't allow it.
He hated Sano so much that just the mention of his name and the thought of himself and him appearing in the same picture made him feel extremely disgusted.
Irie was still brooding over it and thought that Kotoko had no right to be angry with him, but in fact, Kotoko was not angry with him.
If Irie didn't come to her hat-wearing ceremony, then what was the point of him coming? What was the point of him sending flowers? Kotoko didn't care at all. She would rather Irie hadn't shown up.
If Irie had not appeared, Kotoko would not have mistaken him for Sano, would not have suffered the pain of losing what she had gained, and would not have realized that letting go of Sano was not as easy as she had imagined.
That's right, she couldn't let go of a person who had long become a thing of the past and with whom she had no future. The same fire that tormented Rujiang was also burning in her body, and she was trapped in her own tragedy and unable to escape.
The misunderstanding that happened at the hat-donning ceremony made Kotoko suddenly realize that Irie and Sano really have similarities.
In the past, she only heard Renko and Satomi say, "Irie is a high-end version of Sano." However, she didn't agree with them. She only cared about her own thing and regarded Sano as the most unique person in her heart.
But now, by some strange coincidence, she realized that Irie was a "high-end version of Sano". They were indeed the same type of handsome guys, tall, straight, fair-skinned, and bookish.
Sometimes when Kotoko stared at Irie's back or profile, she would involuntarily have hallucinations. Irie forbad her to miss Sano and was even willing to go into a cold war with her for several months and tear up all the photos of Sano. However, he didn't know that he himself had become Kotoko's new switch for missing Sano.
The qualities in him that are similar to those of Sano but several times stronger than Sano are the keys to Sano's exclusive memory box in Kotoko's mind.
Kotoko avoided Irie because she couldn't face him. The more she obsessed with Sano, the more guilty she felt towards Irie. The guilt accumulated over time and became a heavy burden on her heart. She began to get tired of him and simply turned a blind eye to him.
The two of them entered the internship period in an awkward and strange atmosphere.
Kotoko and Irie are interning in the same hospital. As soon as she entered the hospital, she became the focus of everyone's attention because of Irie. Irie is the focus wherever he goes, and his love affair that shocked the whole school is naturally often talked about by everyone. Who else doesn't know the famous Kotoko Aihara?
Kotoko's luck is not so good this time. She is ostracized by her seniors in the hospital and is assigned to take care of the willful Grandma Yoshida. The two of them quarrel every day, especially when Grandma Yoshida knows that Kotoko is Irie's girlfriend, she dislikes her even more.
"How come Dr. Irie has such a stupid girlfriend like you?"
Kotoko couldn't help it: "Dr. Irie is Dr. Irie, I am me, my name is Kotoko Aihara, I'm not just his girlfriend!"
In the eyes of Grandma Yoshida, Kotoko was a soft persimmon with no temper. Although she always complained about her unreasonable requests, she never really got angry. So when Kotoko did speak out, it was fine. But when she did, she made a stunning move and silenced the old lady in an instant.
But Kotoko, the soft persimmon, was angry for only three seconds. During lunch break, she came to the ward with chocolate in her hand to apologize: "This is the crispy chocolate that Grandma Yoshida likes. Please forgive me."
Grandma Yoshida was fuming, not forgiving her, but rather curious: "Why don't you want to be known as 'Doctor Irie's girlfriend'?"
"Not unwilling either."
Kotoko lied, she just didn't want to. She had been living under Irie's halo since high school, and had been "Irie's girlfriend" since college. The name Irie had swallowed up her self and made her a label of Irie, which Kotoko didn't like.
"Still trying to trick me! Do you think I'm an old lady who's easy to fool?!" Grandma Yoshida suddenly raised her voice. "You're always scowling. I don't know what you're thinking about. You don't have the happiness that a young girl should have when she's in love. A smart and handsome man is bound to have some bad sides to his personality. There's no such thing as a perfect person in this world. You should either be content or stop. What's the point of wasting time? It's just a waste of time."
The unreasonable Yoshida grandmother could actually vaguely guess her thoughts and see that she was unhappy. Qinzi was quite surprised: "Is Yoshida grandmother caring about me?"
"Who cares about you?! I'm talking about wasting Dr. Irie's time!" Granny Yoshida rolled her eyes. "He heard you were being bullied in the hospital, so he came to talk to me and the nurses, hoping we wouldn't target you anymore. What have you done for me? You're so ungrateful. If you don't want to be Dr. Irie's girlfriend, then vacate your position! There are plenty of other people who want it!"
Grandma Yoshida briefly served as Kotoko's life mentor, but then quickly turned back into the willful old lady she used to be. She found all kinds of ways to play pranks on Kotoko, causing her to be taken away by the head nurse for questioning several times. She even lied about having a heart condition, which shattered Kotoko's already fragile confidence.
What she worried about at the hatting ceremony finally came true; she really didn't become a good nurse.
Kotoko was feeling dispirited as she was enjoying the breeze on the rooftop. Irie came to find her and learned that she seemed to have reached her limit and could not hold on any longer, so he did not force her anymore.
"It's understandable. Being a nurse is also a choice for you. You naturally won't go far if you don't have any other options."
Kotoko felt that there was something else behind his words, but unfortunately she was able to perceive it keenly but lacked the wisdom to analyze it.
Irie then said, "Think about it carefully. If you don't become a nurse, what do you want to do?"
Kotoko was stunned, her mind in a mess. She had no goals, so she accepted the goals set for her by Irie. If she didn't become a nurse, she really didn't know what she could do.
Irie has planned every step of her future for her. She just needs to move forward boldly. If she can't walk anymore, Irie will support her. If she encounters difficulties, Irie will help her solve them. Irie's good and bad sides are placed on the two ends of the scale, always swinging in Kotoko's heart.
"Irie-kun wants me to become a nurse. Do you want to work with me?"
"Yes." Irie said the love words coldly: "I hope to work with you, and I hope you will stay by my side. Can you do that?"
Kotoko couldn't do it. She had already decided to give up, so she couldn't give Irie a direct answer.
"Irie-kun, thank you."
Irie left quietly without saying a word.
31
The time when Kotoko tried to give up being a nurse was filled with too many coincidences.
Coincidentally, the head nurse also wanted to transfer her away from Grandma Yoshida, so she went to say goodbye to Grandma Yoshida, and happened to encounter Grandma Yoshida having a heart attack.
Later, she happened to learn from her predecessor that Grandma Yoshida was essentially abandoned by her family and was always alone, which was why she frequently tried to make her presence felt.
Kotoko was soft-hearted and could not bear to hear the suffering of the world. She almost instantly forgot the troubles that Yoshida had caused her in the past and decided to stay with Yoshida for a while, at least until she was out of danger, Kotoko did not want to leave her alone.
Grandma Yoshida lay quietly on the bed, her face looking extremely haggard and pale as she wore a respirator. Kotoko had never seen her like this before, and she felt very sad.
She wondered, when Grandma Yoshida told her, was she telling her to give up Irie and end this unhappy relationship, or was she advising her to cherish the happiness she had now and not cling to other illusions?
"Granny Yoshida, I still have many questions to ask you. You are so much smarter than me, you must know the answers. Please get better soon. I will be with you and will not let you be alone."
Qinzi didn't notice that a figure flashed past the door.
Irie did not enter the ward because he didn't know what to say to Kotoko after entering, so he stood quietly at the door and looked at her for a while.
Whenever Irie feels unfamiliar with Kotoko, he will pay attention to her in front of other people, and then he finds that Kotoko is still the Kotoko in his memory, kind, gentle and resilient, but she is no longer infatuated with him.
Irie tried his best, but he couldn't fix the time-space bug caused by time travel. Perhaps he should accept their long-lasting and ordinary love. After all, ordinary people are like this. No matter how passionately Kotoko loved him in the past, it was a past that could not be replicated.
Everything is over, and he should look forward.
The next night, Irie also had a dream. He dreamed that he had returned to the night before the time travel. He had ended his date with Oizumi Sahoko and was intercepted on his way home by Kin. Kin said to him, "I'm going to take Kotoko from you."
The Ajin in the dream was not like the real Ajin, but more like a monster in human skin. Just like in horror stories, the ghost had to lure the prey into the forbidden area and say forbidden words before he could kill them.
"Ajin" is also waiting for Irie to trigger some taboo conditions before giving Irie a terrible ending.
Irie felt a chill down his spine. He had never been so frightened before. He shouted, "No one can take Kotoko away from me! I will find her and you won't be allowed to get close to her again!"
But his voice was muted by the master of the dream, and he could not speak. "Ajin" smiled and answered for Irie: "I understand, your answer is - "Whatever you want."
Jin's face gradually distorted, and the monster in front of Irie slowly transformed from Jin into Sano. Sano gloated and mocked him, "Your wish has come true. Congratulations, Irie."
Irie felt dizzy. The most terrifying person in the world and the most terrifying scene in the world merged together, which gave him more than a little stimulation. His tense nerves broke inch by inch. After his rationality was emptied, an indescribable madness surged in his body.
Irie suddenly swung his fist at "Sano" and started fighting with him on the spot. "Sano" seemed to have no intention of fighting with Irie and was quickly knocked down. Irie grabbed his neck and muttered nervously: "Why did you show up? Why did you ruin my life? It's all your fault, it's all your fault!"
"Blame me? Haha." "Sano" acted like a winner, still gloating even at the moment of death: "You deserve it!"
"Sano" disappeared.
He disappeared so suddenly that Irie's overflowing hatred lost its carrier. Thinking of the horrible thing he had just done, Irie suspected that he was indeed crazy.
The night magnified Irie's loneliness. His heart felt empty, as if he had truly lost something. Just as he was at a loss as to what to do, Kotoko's voice rang out from behind him: "Irie-kun, why are you sitting on the ground? Get up quickly, or you'll catch a cold!"
Irie finally grabbed the life-saving straw. He knew that he had worked hard to change the past, so even with the existence of "Akin" and "Sano", no one could take away his Kotoko. They would be together well and would not be separated.
Irie stood up and quickly hugged Kotoko, as if hugging the only source of heat in the snow and ice. His numb limbs and cooled blood began to revive, and the warmth spread throughout his body little by little.
But Kotoko pushed him away at this moment.
"Irie-kun, why are you acting so strange today? Didn't you go on a date with Oizumi Sahoko? You two are such a perfect match. Irie-kun will definitely be very happy marrying such an outstanding girl!"
Irie was stunned and looked at Kotoko in front of him in disbelief. "Kotoko" smiled at him, just like she did to "Sano" and "Akin" just now, with a hint of ill intention in her eyes.
She said cruelly, "I hope Sano and I can be as happy as Irie-kun and Sahoko."
………
Irie woke up from a nightmare at two or three in the morning. He had a thin layer of sweat on his body, but he was shivering from the cold.
The dark room could not give him enough sense of security. He felt that the ever-changing monster in his dream did not disappear when he woke up. It was in some corner of reality, always staring at him.
Irie is going to look for Kotoko.
He walked out of the room regardless, went to Kotoko's door, and woke up the sleeping owner of the house with a hurried knock on the door.
Kotoko opened the door sleepily, and the moment she saw Irie, she was completely confused.
What are you doing, big brother? It's the middle of the night and you can't let me sleep well. I stayed with Grandma Yoshida the whole night last night and I'm so sleepy that I can't even open my eyes. Look, I'm going to faint soon...
Kotoko felt dizzy and closed her eyes when she was daydreaming. Even if Irie suddenly gave her a hug, she couldn't get out of her chaotic consciousness.
It's surprisingly warm in Irie...
Kotoko spoke to him in a delirious manner, "Irie-kun, the time period you picked is very special, but don't you think we're not suitable for that kind of thing right now? First of all, we still need to get to know each other better, and secondly, I'm not in good shape..."
Irie didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
The intimacy that happened in reality was more real, and Irie's fear was diluted a lot. He hugged Kotoko, and Kotoko would not push him away, but rarely responded to him actively. She had always been like this, reluctant to give, but not refusing Irie's requests, standing in the middle ground between love and not love.
Irie must personally look for clues that Kotoko loves him to prove that their relationship is not just his wishful thinking. Over time, he becomes obsessed and falls into such a horrible nightmare.
In his dream, he killed "Sano" with his own hands, but even though "Sano" disappeared, his "Kotoko" never came back.
"By the way, Irie-kun, I want to tell you something." Kotoko suddenly had an idea and immediately perked up, like a patient experiencing a moment of last breath, suddenly becoming abnormally excited: "I have decided to continue being a nurse! Today, I saw Grandma Yoshida wake up safely, you have no idea how touched I am."
"That feeling is truly magical. It gives all the hard work I've put in so much meaning. I find myself kind of falling in love with this profession."
"I hope my existence can help more people in the future! I've decided to persevere!"
"Irie-kun, thank you! It's you who helped me find my dream in life! I'm no longer lost! You are truly my benefactor!"
Kotoko spoke excitedly about her plans for the future, her eyes lit up by the "dream" she mentioned, and instantly filled with moving light. She was so intoxicated that she ignored Irie again.
Irie remembered that he had told Kotoko more than once that he recommended her to be a nurse because he hoped to work with her. He hoped that she would stay by his side and not go anywhere.
But whether Kotoko gives up being a nurse or decides to continue being a nurse, it has nothing to do with Irie. Irie is not a factor worth considering in her future plans.
If it were the Kotoko who once loved him deeply, she would definitely hug him tightly and tell him, "Even if it's just to work with Irie-kun, I will work hard! Irie-kun is my motivation!"
But Irie always had so many concerns in the past. He was unwilling to express his love and unwilling to learn how to love. While he enjoyed Kotoko's kindness, he made her guess and get hurt.
How could he not realize that the desperate situation he once found himself in was already the best time? He was even so foolish as to regard time travel as a blessing.
There must be other ways to resolve the company's crisis. President Oizumi and Oizumi Sahoko are not necessarily unreasonable people. His father and mother do not support him obtaining funds through marriage. Obviously, everything can be negotiated, but he still insists on his own way because he is sure that Kotoko will not leave, so what's the harm in sacrificing her?
Then he came to a truly desperate situation, right now, right now. No matter how he tried to make amends, he could not stop Kotoko's heart from drifting away from him day by day.
Irie regretted so much. He had given all his patience and enthusiasm to Kotoko, who didn't take him seriously, while Kotoko, who loved him, got nothing. It was obvious that he loved her deeply, but he didn't have the chance to tell her his feelings before they were separated forever.
He suddenly realized with incredible clarity: What if Sano wasn't there? What if Jin wasn't there? Even if everyone who might have competed with him for Kotoko disappeared from the world, it wouldn't bring him back the Kotoko he wanted.
Irie's emotions continued to sink, sinking into an endless abyss.
tbc
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