After being "precisely targeted" by his own son with a puddle of his own urine during a diaper change, leaving him humiliated and disgraced, Emperor Xiao Che remained depressed for an entire day.
He began to reflect deeply on why he, an emperor who was invincible on the battlefield and whose word was law in the court, would repeatedly fail and fight again on the mere problem of "child-rearing," ultimately suffering a complete defeat.
Lin Wanwan thought that after experiencing this series of "disastrous" blows, this new dad would eventually give up and hand over the responsibility of taking care of the baby to the professional palace servants.
However, she ultimately underestimated the emperor's obsession and pride.
Xiao Che came to a startling conclusion: his failure was not due to a lack of ability, but rather... a lack of companionship!
Yes, that must be it! Because he spent too little time with his son, a rift developed between them, which led to the Crown Prince's series of "non-violent non-cooperation" resistances.
Having grasped this "profound" logic, Xiao Che was overjoyed and immediately made a decision that shook the entire court and harem.
The next morning, just as Lin Wanwan was resting and enjoying a rare moment of peace after giving birth, the Emperor's chief eunuch, leading a group of eunuchs, respectfully entered the nursery.
They didn't come to pay their respects; they came to... move things.
To Lin Wanwan's astonishment, the exquisite royal cradle, crafted from thousand-year-old golden nanmu wood and draped with bright yellow curtains, along with the little "dumpling" inside, was carefully lifted up and carried out of the palace in a grand procession.
"Your Majesty, what is this...?" Lin Wanwan asked, puzzled.
The chief eunuch bowed, a strange expression on his face that was both respectful and proud, and announced loudly, "Your Majesty, His Majesty has decreed that the eldest prince is the heir apparent, ordained by Heaven, and should be well-versed in the classics and history and knowledgeable about politics from a young age. From this day forward, His Highness the Crown Prince's residence will be moved to the Imperial Study, where His Majesty will personally attend to him, so that he may be nurtured in the art of rulership!"
His words were spoken in a grand and imposing manner.
After hearing this, Lin Wanwan was stunned at first, then looked at the receding figure of the cradle, and finally couldn't help but cover her mouth with her handkerchief and laugh silently until she bent over.
She knew that Xiao Che was unwilling to admit defeat and had come up with a new way to "mess around".
Thus, since the founding of the Great Liang Dynasty, the Imperial Study—a solemn place that symbolized the highest power of the empire, handled countless military and national affairs, and made countless ministers tremble with fear and dare not speak loudly—ushered in its most "chaotic" and peculiar period in history.
The once solemn and dignified imperial study has suddenly changed its style.
Beside the dragon throne, a magnificent and luxurious golden cradle had appeared. The corner where memorials were originally piled up was now occupied by various toys such as rattles, rocking horses, and nine-linked rings. In the air, the solemn ambergris incense was strangely mixed with a faint, lingering milky scent.
When the ministers who came to discuss matters first stepped into the renovated imperial study, they were all petrified on the spot. They looked at the little prince sleeping soundly in the cradle next to the dragon throne, occasionally blowing bubbles, and then at His Majesty the Emperor sitting upright on the dragon throne with an expression that said, "I did it this way, do you have any objections?" They were all plunged into deep self-doubt.
This...this is really the imperial study where everyone is busy with state affairs? Or is it some kind of royal nursery?
They quickly adapted to this new and suffocating set of "royal study rules".
Every time I enter, I have to tiptoe, my steps as light as a cat's, for fear of disturbing the little ancestor who is "being taught the art of emperors".
When reporting on state affairs, officials had to automatically lower their voices, carefully controlling their tone to ensure the emperor could hear them clearly without disturbing the baby in the cradle. Some ministers, who were naturally loud, even practiced with their grandchildren for several days before daring to attend court.
A peculiar scene unfolded in the imperial study: Emperor Xiao Che was diligently reviewing memorials, while the young crown prince in his cradle occasionally let out a satisfied hum. Meanwhile, the ministers who had come to discuss matters were like a group of guilty-looking shadows, appearing and disappearing without a sound, not daring to even breathe.
On one occasion, the elderly Minister of Revenue couldn't help but cough softly. The emperor on the dragon throne immediately cast a cold, knife-like glare at him, frightening the old minister so much that he almost knelt down to beg for forgiveness on the spot.
In this oppressive and absurd atmosphere, all the ministers suffered terribly, yet dared not utter a single complaint. Who dared to question the emperor's deeper intentions in "cultivating a crown prince"?
However, the real disaster has only just begun.
On this day, an urgent report came from the border, and the Minister of War was summoned to the Imperial Study to discuss important military matters.
"Your Majesty," the Minister of War said solemnly, unfolding a military map and pointing to a spot, "a group of Northern Barbarians has been making frequent unusual moves recently, amassing no fewer than 30,000 troops outside our Yanmen Pass. Their intentions are unclear. I believe we should immediately dispatch an additional 5,000 elite troops to guard against any unforeseen circumstances..."
Xiao Che's brows furrowed, his fingers tapping lightly on the map, his eyes flashing with a sharp light, and the atmosphere in the entire imperial study instantly became solemn and tense.
“Thirty thousand troops…” he murmured, “It’s harvest time now, so they’re unlikely to launch a large-scale invasion. It’s more like a…”
"Wow--!"
A loud and penetrating cry suddenly erupted without warning, like a thunderclap from a clear sky!
The cry instantly shattered the solemnity and tension in the imperial study, interrupting the thoughts of both the emperor and his minister.
The Minister of War's words caught in his throat as he looked in astonishment at the source of the voice—the golden cradle.
The little dumpling in the cradle had woken up sometime earlier and was now waving its tiny fists and wailing at the top of its lungs.
"Your Majesty, this..." The Minister of War was at a loss, wondering whether he should continue speaking or wait for His Highness the Crown Prince to finish crying.
However, he no longer had a choice.
Because just a moment ago, Xiao Che was exuding imperial majesty and a murderous aura, but the moment he heard the crying, his entire aura changed.
All the sharpness and seriousness on his face vanished in an instant, replaced by a panicked expression filled with tension and heartache.
"Wait a moment!" He immediately put down the vermilion pen and the report concerning the safety of the border, as if it were a hot potato.
He abruptly stood up, completely ignoring the dumbfounded Minister of War, and strode to the cradle in a few steps.
He first awkwardly checked the diaper and found it was dry. Then he calculated the time and realized it wasn't time to feed the baby yet.
Then... that's just being unreasonable!
Xiao Che immediately switched into "dad" mode. He bent down and gently rocked the cradle with practiced ease, while opening his mouth and humming the lullaby he already knew by heart, in a voice that was so gentle it was almost fawning, a voice that even he himself found unfamiliar.
"Sleep...sleep...my dear...baby..."
The singing was off-key, the tune completely out of tune, but it was full of boundless patience and... a hint of doting affection that even he himself didn't realize.
Thus, the most absurd scene in history unfolded at the power center of the Great Liang Empire.
His Majesty the Emperor was lying beside the cradle, softly humming an off-key lullaby to soothe his crying son.
The Minister of War, who held supreme power over the nation's military and had just been discussing important border defense matters, stood frozen in place like a stone statue, still holding the urgent military report in his hand, unsure whether to leave, stay, speak, or listen.
His mind went blank, and he felt that the scene before him was even more troublesome and powerless than the 30,000-strong army of the Northern Barbarians.
What... what kind of situation is this?!
Time passed by, second by second.
The Minister of War went from initial shock to anxiety, and finally to numbness. He watched helplessly as their Emperor tried everything he could, humming lullabies from "Little Baby" to "Moonlight," and even improvising a few lines, but the Crown Prince in the cradle simply wouldn't cooperate, his cries rising and falling, never ceasing.
After an unknown amount of time, the agonizing cries finally subsided, turning into intermittent sobs.
The Minister of War was invigorated, thinking that he could finally continue the discussion.
However, when he looked up, he found that the intermittent lullaby in the direction of the dragon throne had also stopped.
He cautiously looked over and saw that Emperor Xiao Che, who had stayed up for several nights and been tormented by his son for most of the day, was leaning against the armrest of the dragon throne, his head nodding slowly, his eyes closed, and his breathing steady.
"Tuanzi" was not asleep.
His dad fell asleep first.
When Lin Wanwan sent someone to deliver a late-night snack, she was met with this absurd scene.
The Minister of War stood alone in the center of the Imperial Study, like a forgotten ghost. The baby in the cradle stared at the world with wide, dark eyes. Meanwhile, on the dragon throne, their Emperor of Liang had fallen into a deep sleep, a trace of weary drool even clinging to his lips.
When Lin Wanwan looked up again, she could clearly see that above Xiao Che's head, a lazy emoji with snot bubbles floating out of its nose was floating by – [Zzzzz.gif].
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