Xiao Che's bold declaration, "I'll go fishing," echoed in the courtyard, carrying a tragic sense of desperation. It was as if fishing had become his final battle to uphold his imperial dignity.
The next morning, before dawn, Xiao Che took swift and decisive action.
Since this is a decisive battle, the equipment must be in place!
With a wave of his hand, he ordered his men to ride back to the capital at top speed and retrieve a complete set of "royal fishing gear" from the Imperial Household Department's treasury.
When the fishing tackle was respectfully placed by the lake in the villa, even the well-informed General Zhang couldn't help but gasp.
Good heavens!
The fishing rod was crafted entirely from the finest sandalwood, its shaft inlaid with delicate gold threads and lustrous jade; in the sunlight, it was dazzling. The fishing line was said to be made from the silk of thousand-year-old ice silkworms, incredibly strong and impervious to water and fire. The fishhook was forged from a mixture of black iron and crimson tin, exceptionally sharp. Even the small box for holding the bait was carved from a single piece of mutton-fat jade, extravagantly luxurious.
Xiao Che changed into a flowing white robe, wore a jade crown, and held the "Dragon-Slaying Pole," a work of art, as he stood by the lake. His demeanor and style made it seem as if he wasn't there to fish, but rather to catch Jiang Ziya (a legendary Chinese philosopher and poet).
On the other side, General Zhang, the "simple opponent," was still dressed as an old farmer. He moved a small stool, holding a plain-looking, even somewhat old, bamboo pole, and sat down not far from Xiao Che, creating a stark and dramatic contrast.
On one side are priceless royal-grade luxury equipment, and on the other side are everyday, practical tools.
A fishing competition about dignity has begun.
Xiao Che was full of confidence in his "divine weapon." He believed that to do a good job, one must first have the right tools. With such a divine weapon in hand, any fish in the lake with a modicum of sense should line up to take the bait, seeking the supreme honor of being caught by the "dragon hook."
He gracefully cast his fishing line, and the agate-inlaid float drew a perfect parabola across the lake, landing precisely in his chosen "land of origin."
Everything is ready.
Next, we await the glorious moment when "all the fish come to pay homage".
However, time passed second by second.
An hour has passed.
Old General Zhang next door had already pulled seven or eight lively carp out of the lake one after another. His fish basket was almost full. The old general hummed an off-key tune, leisurely enjoying himself.
Meanwhile, on Xiao Che's side...
His fishing rod, inlaid with gold and jade, was as steady as Mount Tai.
His priceless fishing float remained as still as a virgin.
The lake was as calm as a mirror, without even a ripple.
Forget about fish, not even a shrimp came to visit.
Xiao Che's expression gradually changed from initial confidence to seriousness, then to doubt, and finally, it began to darken.
He doesn't believe in superstitions.
He changed the bait three times, from top-quality earthworms to specially made spiced dough, and then to lively little flying insects fed with a secret recipe from the palace.
However, the float remained completely still.
It was as if his body of water had been enchanted by some kind of barrier, becoming a forbidden zone for life.
Lin Wanwan sat under the shade of a tree, holding a book in her hands, but her mind was completely on the book. She watched her husband's back gradually transform from "ethereal and otherworldly" to "full of resentment," her shoulders trembling as she struggled to suppress her laughter.
Another half hour passed, and General Zhang, feeling that he had had a bountiful catch that day, was content to pack up his line and prepare to go home to make fish soup. As he passed by Xiao Che, he "kindly" peeked into Xiao Che's empty bucket, clicked his tongue twice, shook his head, and walked away.
That look of sympathy is more powerful than any words.
Xiao Che's pride was dealt another heavy blow.
Looking at the calm, still lake, he finally couldn't help but ask Lin Wanwan beside him a soul-searching question that came from the perspective of an emperor, filled with self-doubt.
His "artificial voice package" system was filled with confusion and grievance at this moment:
"Wanwan, do you think... the fish in this lake, like the ones on that piece of land yesterday... are 'deceiving the emperor'?"
Lin Wanwan couldn't hold back any longer. The book in her hand fell to the ground with a "thud," and she laughed so hard that she almost cried.
Following the land that "deceived the emperor," fish that "deceived the emperor" have also appeared!
After suffering a major setback in his retirement, this retired emperor has developed a perfect chain of blame-shifting logic: whenever there is a failure, the fault is never mine, but the world's!
Just as Lin Wanwan was laughing so hard she was about to choke, a "miracle" happened!
Suddenly, Xiao Che's fishing float, which had been still all morning, plunged downwards! Immediately afterward, a tremendous force came from the fishing line, pulling the luxurious fishing rod into an astonishing arc!
It's here!
It's finally here!
A burst of wild joy instantly erupted in Xiao Che's eyes!
He knew it! The fish in this lake weren't "deceiving the king"; they were simply waiting for a true king! The fish caught by those ordinary people before were nothing more than small fish and shrimp, but the one biting the hook now must be the most spiritual "fish king" hidden deep within this lake!
It was finally summoned by my kingly aura and came to pay homage!
"Wanwan! Look! It's a big one!" Xiao Che was overjoyed. He gripped the fishing rod tightly with both hands, his arm muscles tensing instantly, and he assumed a standard posture for fighting a big fish.
Lin Wanwan stopped laughing and stood up curiously. Even Lao Zhang, who had just finished fishing and walked a short distance away, turned around upon hearing the noise and looked over with a surprised expression.
The fishing rod was pulled so hard it bent into a full moon, showing that the creature underwater was quite powerful.
"rise!"
Xiao Che took a deep breath, focused his energy in his dantian, and suddenly pulled the fishing rod back!
This lift required all the dignity and strength he possessed as an emperor!
The fishing line is taut, and water splashes everywhere!
Under everyone's expectant gaze, a small, silver object was flung out of the water with a "whoosh," drawing an extremely tiny parabola in the air before landing precisely on the grass in front of Xiao Che with a "plop."
The entire venue fell into a deathly silence.
Xiao Che remained frozen in place, still in the same position as he was struggling to lift the fishing rod.
Lin Wanwan's eyes widened, and her mouth opened slightly.
General Zhang rubbed his eyes, unable to believe what he was seeing.
On the grass, a tiny creature—no, a tiny shrimp even thinner than Xiao Che's little finger—was hanging on a fishhook made of black iron, larger than its own body, hopping and leaping about, "showing off its power."
Its two slender shrimp whiskers were still swaying triumphantly in the air, as if delivering the ultimate, merciless mockery of this emperor-elect from the commoner level.
...
...
silence.
A deathly silence.
Xiao Che felt as if his world had collapsed.
He waited an epic amount of time, put on a kingly stance, and in the end... he caught this thing.
This shrimp isn't even good enough to be used as an ornament for his gold-inlaid and jade-embroidered fishhooks!
This is even more insulting than the Air Force!
"cough……"
Finally, it was General Zhang who broke the awkward silence. He cautiously peeked over, looking at the still-living little shrimp on the ground, his face contorted with a forced, almost comical expression. In a tone brimming with "concern," he said to Xiao Che:
"Oh my, Your Majesty, congratulations! Are you... planning to have an extra meal tonight, like 'fried shrimp'? But... the one you caught... I'm afraid it won't even be enough to fill a tooth gap."
These words, like the last straw that broke the camel's back, completely shattered Xiao Che's psychological defenses.
His face, at a speed visible to the naked eye, went from white to red, from red to purple, and finally, turned completely black.
It was as black as the bottom of a pot.
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