Chapter 253 Forget It
After a long silence, Ning Yan walked over and squatted in front of him.
He looked up at Yu Chengbai who was sitting on the sofa, half-knelt at his feet, and asked, "Are you unhappy when you are with me?"
Yu Chengbai immediately said: "No, I'm very happy."
Ning Yan said: "Me too, very happy."
He didn't smile as always as before, but looked at Yu Chengbai with a serious expression. The word "serious" seemed too cold.
Or should we say serious and formal.
"So it's the things you just said that make you unhappy?" Ning Yan asked him.
"Well, not very happy."
Ning Yan frowned slightly, thought for a moment, then looked up and asked him, "Why didn't you tell me before?"
Yu Chengbai seemed to sigh before saying, "I'm worried that you'll find me annoying and that I'm trying to control you. I'm afraid you'll just walk away like you did before."
Hearing his words, Ning Yan was stunned for a moment and asked in surprise: "Why do you think so?"
Yu Chengbai looked at him sadly, with a hint of subtle resentment: "Because you really did live like this."
"But this is different, isn't it?"
"We were already married then." And now they are not even married. Yu Chengbai did not say the second half of the sentence, but his eyes were fixed on him.
Ning Yan quickly said, "But the person you married back then was Yiwei, not me. Our original relationship was a scam, it was fake from the beginning. Wasn't it only a matter of time before I left?"
Yu Chengbai immediately asked, "What about now? Will you still leave?"
"No, why should I leave?" Ning Yan's face was full of confusion, and he looked at Yu Chengbai with eyes full of doubts.
Yu Chengbai had spoken so much to him from the bottom of his heart just now, and now he had spoken so much more, but his behavior at this moment only confirmed one sentence -
People cannot truly empathize with each other.
"Do you think I'm weird?" Yu Chengbai suddenly asked.
"Yes, I think you are very strange today."
"Do you think I'm being unreasonable?"
"No." Ning Yan put her arms on his knees, supported her face with her palms, looked up at him, and said with narrowed eyes: "I think you are jealous."
I am jealous, but not just jealous.
He went out for drinks and dinner with his colleagues last night and reached out to touch his colleague's face, which at best could only be considered a fuse.
It ignited Yu Chengbai's already suspicious and uneasy heart, causing all the shameful things that he had suppressed deep in his heart and refused to reveal to him to burst out in an instant.
But his outburst was not obvious, like a gust of wind that could not be seen, and one could only vaguely feel the depression.
——Ning Yan, this little fool, didn’t even feel any oppression.
"If you don't like it, then I won't go next time?" Ning Yan asked him tentatively when she saw that he had been silent.
Whether I will go next time is still to be determined, but I will definitely say this now.
"Should we get married earlier?" Yu Chengbai suddenly said again.
"Sure." Ning Yan nodded without thinking.
Yu Chengbai lowered his eyes and looked at the smiling person who was half-kneeling in front of him. He suddenly realized something in a daze.
This was completely different from what he expected.
When he chose to confess his dissatisfaction, unhappiness and anxiety during this period to Ning Yan, he thought that Ning Yan would be dissatisfied, irritated, and think that he was controlling, and he even considered the possibility of them quarreling.
Because he was very sure that Ning Yan was a person who didn't like being controlled.
He was locked up by Tessa until he was ten years old, and was imprisoned by the name "Ning Yan" for the next ten years.
Yu Chengbai believes that he would not like to be bound by the word marriage.
As a result, Ning Yan turned the multiple-choice question between options A and B into a essay question. Not only was his choice not among Yu Chengbai's options, it was not even in the question Yu Chengbai gave him.
——Marriage is not a bondage in Ning Yan’s eyes.
——It’s a piece of waste paper.
——It’s bullshit.
When Yu Chengbai nervously proposed to him, fearing that he would refuse, fearing that he would feel constrained and uncomfortable.
Ning Yan agreed immediately.
Without the slightest hesitation.
A man who can go in and out of Chris Prison with ease, a man who doesn't even care about the law, a man who has been arrested almost all over the world, do you expect him to abide by the marriage law?
This is a huge joke.
Yu Chengbai felt like a joke.
"What's wrong?" Ning Yan was stunned for a moment, then reached out and touched Yu Chengbai's eyelashes.
The corners of Yu Chengbai's eyes were light red, his eyelashes were slightly wet, and his eyes were filled with indelible sorrow and deep sadness.
Ning Yan wiped his hair carefully and said in shock, "It's just a marriage, you won't cry with joy, right?"
“…”
"So we'll get married later?"
"...No." Yu Chengbai said immediately.
Ning Yan smiled, half-knelt in front of him, took the hand he had placed on his knee, gently placed it against his cheek, and asked him, "What's wrong? If you have something to say, just talk it over. Why are you crying? Didn't I promise you?"
I have said it clearly and plainly.
But the person in front of me cannot understand or empathize.
Yu Chengbai suddenly said, "Ali said you are very good at dealing with emotional issues."
Ning Yan nodded: "Yes, it's easy to handle. In fact, it's just a simple matter of going back and forth."
Yu Chengbai asked him: "Then can you handle the emotional issues between us?"
Ning Yan was startled, and unconsciously loosened her grip on his hand. She asked blankly, "Are there any relationship problems between us? Aren't we going to get married?"
"Is there anything that hasn't been resolved? Didn't we discuss it before?"
"Any questions? What are they?"
Yu Chengbai quietly looked at his genuinely confused face.
Suddenly, Yu Chengbai figured it out.
Why is it that Ning Yan, who is best at dealing with emotional issues, is unable to bring this kind of delicacy into his love and marriage?
Because this is not his instinct, it is not his nature.
For Gu Jiujing, understanding other people's psychology is as common as eating and drinking. It has almost become part of his habit and is difficult to change.
Ning Yan, on the other hand, is just the opposite. His original character is free and bright, unrestrained, like a train with no end speeding across the grassland.
The reason why he is good at dealing with love is that it is a skill he learned later in life.
This skill is not fully integrated into his personality, and he cannot use it unless he deliberately uses it.
When facing himself, he is in a completely relaxed state, and he is just himself.
Therefore, he couldn't discover what was wrong with his lover like he could discover problems in other people's relationships.
Because he is living, not working.
"You came back drunk last night and looked a little sad," said Yu Chengbai.
"I know, that's what happens when I drink too much. The Third Young Master and the others all know that I tend to get sad easily when I drink too much. When the Third Young Master was fourteen or fifteen, I got drunk and hugged his legs, calling him daddy, crying my heart out. I guess that embarrassing scene is still on the Third Young Master's phone."
“…”
"How about I ask him to send it to you now?" Ning Yan tried to cheer him up.
But he was being too self-defeating. Yu Chengbai frowned and asked him, "So when you drink too much, you'll cry to more than just me?"
"That's normal, right? No one would act crazy only towards specific people when drunk, right?"
Yu Chengbai looked at him.
Ning Yan felt that he seemed a little unhappy again.
Yu Chengbai gently closed his eyes and exhaled.
I said to myself, forget it.
This person is indeed like that.
He could be filled with sadness and grief one moment, and completely forget about it the next, just like Ali used to be. One moment he would be crying in his room after being beaten by his father, and the next moment he would ask his father for some money so that he could celebrate his friend's birthday.
What Ning Yan taught Ali was not only boldness, but also freedom.
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