The tide is receding and it no longer moves forward

440.

After turning on the lights, the living room was bright. Under this warm light, all the vases were empty, containing my loss.

Exploding Dog: Are you home yet?

Exploding Dog: Are you still angry?

Explosive Dog: You can reply to me after you are no longer angry.

Exploding Dog: I'm home now. I think today is all my fault. I shouldn't have told you this way.

Exploding Dog: Can you please not be angry with me?

Explosive Dog : Pei Xu.

I looked down at the screen without replying, placing my phone on the cabinet in the entrance hall. The textbook covering the camera shifted position. I picked it up and flipped to a random page, revealing the bookmark Xu Jiaheng had made.

I didn’t want to cry. If the bookmark hadn’t fallen out, I really wouldn’t have cried.

441.

After crying, I went to the bathroom to wash my face. My eyes in the mirror looked neither like mint nor fireflies. They looked like soaked kelp or dried algae. Why was I crying? What was there to cry about? At least we were friends, and he had never rejected me. But not being rejected was also a regret. I wanted to give him so much more than just a friend. I wanted to tell him the decision I had made for him, to let him understand the courage that supported me.

Maybe if I change my number, he will answer my call.

If so, what is the difference between me and An Jin?

442.

Late at night, the phone rang, and I thought that my senior had decided to keep talking on the phone every night. After I answered the phone, I found that it was not the case.

"Hello?"

"Baby, how are you doing lately? Are you okay?" It was my aunt.

"I'm fine, don't worry."

"I'm here to tell you good news."

"Yeah." I urgently need good news now.

"You have a younger brother."

"Yeah." How come there is another younger brother?

"Anna has a new family and has chosen a new life. Please choose a new life too. That is not your island. If you like living on an island, I can buy one for you."

What to buy? What do you like? She has the conditions to forget me, and you tell me, is this good news?

"No, I don't like islands. I don't like beaches or the sea." The person I like is not here.

"Wepa, go home. Don't hang up yet. I'll let my sister talk to you, okay? She just learned a nursery rhyme a few days ago, I'll let her sing it to you."

"Need not."

"You're going to keep going, aren't you? Why should I be responsible for the pain you've caused me when I love you so much?"

"I'm not in pain."

"But you live in a house like that, baby, and I can find you, so how far can the others be? Come back, at least it's safe."

"Aunt, I'm sorry."

I always think that unimportant people are very important. So I'm sorry.

"It's okay, I won't say sorry. My sister also said that she wants to know what her brother will be like when he grows up. I'll wait for you, you grow up first, okay?"

"good."

"Have you finished taking your medicine? Have you had a good rest recently?"

"I haven't finished it yet, there's still a lot."

"Don't eat it, I'll give you a better one."

......

443.

I forgot to turn on the air conditioner, and the hot wind and waves never stopped. The senior sent a text message,

Senior: Who are you talking to on the phone?

Me: I have to tell you everything?

Senior: You talked for at least half an hour.

Me: Really?

Me: Thank you so much. The clock in my house has been broken for a long time.

Senior: What happened to you today?

Senior: Did you cry while reading?

Me: What a mess.

Me: I’m not reading.

Senior: But you started crying without turning the page.

Me: I’m going to bed.

Senior: Don’t lie to me.

Senior: I know you can’t sleep.

Senior: Do you want to answer the phone?

Me: Answer the phone, then?

Senior: Let me tell you a story.

Me: OK.

444.

Is there a story that can sum up a lifetime?

445.

"What do you want to hear?" he asked me.

"Fairy tales, right?" I haven't heard that in a while. When I was little, my aunt bought me lots of picture books, making me think that where there's a forest, there are elves.

"Okay, wait a moment."

"You're looking for a book?"

"No, I'll make up a fairy tale for you."

446.

He spoke very slowly and in a low voice, but I could hear him clearly.

"Once upon a time, there was a little lamb. After a certain sunset, it could only stand in the sea."

When it gets tired, it lowers its head. The only thing that supports it is the strands of seaweed around its feet. The seaweed is very fragile and cannot be exposed to the sun or left alone. It feels it is its responsibility to take care of the seaweed, because to it, the seaweed is everything. So it takes every step carefully. It walks and walks until it reaches the seashore. At the edge of low tide, it stops. The beach is bustling with activity: a group of shells are dancing around a bonfire. The lamb is extremely envious. It watches for a long time until the shells invite it to join them.

"The shell said, 'The sea water is deep, cold, and salty. There's nothing good about it. Come over here quickly, it's warmer.'"

The lamb happily joined in. This was what companionship was like. The entertainment made it forget about the seaweed. But when the shells went home, it felt lonely again. The lamb couldn't swim, but didn't want to go near the beach anymore, so it slept on the sand. It slept for a long, long time, until the waves wet its fur and gave it a treasure.

"A round pearl in the moonlight. This was the first time it had ever seen a pearl. It wanted to hold the pearl and show off its new discovery to the other shells, but it was afraid the pearl would be snatched away, so it didn't. It loved the pearl so much that it wanted to hide it, bury it, and own it. It no longer spoke to the shells or joined in the dance."

"From today on, it has a secret."

"The lamb treats the pearl with meticulous care, yet it seems the pearl isn't its own. It disappears after a while, never to be found, only to reappear in its hand. The lamb is accustomed to this phenomenon, confident that the pearl will reappear after disappearing. The pearl's disappearance must be a subtle reminder of its importance."

447.

"What happened next?" I wanted to know the ending of the fairy tale.

448.

"Then one day, the pearl disappeared completely, and the lamb couldn't find it anywhere."

"It greeted the shells again and asked, 'Have you seen my pearls?'"

"The shells ignored it but kept asking, 'There are no pearls in our sea, why don't you dance with us?' The lamb started crying, but he didn't give up and went into the sea to keep looking. When he was about to drown, he remembered the seaweed that had entangled him."

448.

"And then?" What happened to the lamb in the end?

"That's all. The story ends here. The lamb regretted it because it was most afraid of losing and it kept losing."

"That's not what fairy tales are about."

"This is what fairy tales are like." I heard An Jin laugh.

449.

Fairy tales are not like this. Your fairy tale made me unable to sleep.