Chapter 45: Walk and Walk Again (3) I am yours.

Uncle De said nothing, but winked at the guards around him. After everyone left, he spoke again, "Madam, don't worry. The imperial physician has examined her and said..."

He hesitated for a moment and said, "The prince is fine, he's just tired from traveling so much lately."

Meng Xuanli stood beside the bed for a while, silent. In fact, she knew that Uncle De was not telling the truth, and Lu Guanque was also hiding something from her.

She looked at his pale face and suddenly wanted to wake him up and ask him what he had done and how he ended up like this.

But the thought flashed through my mind.

She didn't ask anything after all.

Because in her heart, his behavior was nothing more than trying to gain her sympathy.

She came to see him only because of her identity as the "Duke's Wife". If she didn't have this identity, she would never come to see him.

"Uncle De," her voice sounded calm, even a little too cold, "Take good care of the Duke."

Uncle De lowered his head and replied respectfully, "Yes, Madam, don't worry."

Meng Xuanli turned her head away, no longer looking at the person on the couch. She turned and walked out, the hem of her skirt brushing against the threshold, picking up the damp chill of the autumn night.

She walked along the corridor at a brisk pace, not until she entered her room and closed the door, did she finally catch her breath.

She shut out the sound of rain in the courtyard and the scene on the couch. Their current relationship was like this door: open, accepting each other; closed, rejecting each other.

But fate always plays tricks on people. When she opens the door, he is never outside, and vice versa.

There was no light in the inner room, and it was dark, like the darkness at the bottom of the sea.

Meng Xuanli didn't think about it either. He sighed, groped his way to the bed, took off his outer robe, and lay down on the bed.

The cold quilt pressed against her, causing her to curl up and tremble slightly.

She closed her eyes and forced herself to fall asleep, but all she could see was Lu Guanque.

The red marks on the side of his neck, his dry lips, and his slightly furrowed brows lingered in her mind like mist.

Meng Xuanli turned over, facing the curtain. In the darkness, his ears became extraordinarily sensitive. He could hear the sound of rain hitting the banana leaves in the courtyard, the sound of raindrops dripping onto the stone steps, and even the sound of his own heart beating.

Meng Xuanli opened up a corner of his heart, and these voices gathered together and distorted into Lu Guanque's heavy breathing.

She was upset and pulled the quilt over her head, as if this could isolate her from him. However, the scene did not disappear, but became clearer.

She tried to think of other things, like the unfinished collection of herbs at Guangde Hall, or where to safely hide the medicine bottle Mr. Chen had given her. But her thoughts, like fallen leaves, circled and stubbornly returned to their roots.

As the night deepened, the rain became lighter.

Meng Xuanli didn't know how she fell asleep, or rather, she didn't fall asleep at all. It was just that the voices in her ears and the shadows in her mind gradually faded away, leaving only the sound of her own breathing, which made her mistakenly believe that she had fallen asleep.

#

The next day, Meng Xuanli woke up very late. The sunlight shone through the window lattice, casting long shadows on the ground, and floating dust flickered in the shadows.

She sat up, her head still groggy, the strangeness of last night still lingering. While she was washing up, Meng Xuanli casually asked, "Is the Duke awake?"

The maid lowered her head to straighten her clothes and replied softly, "Madam, not yet. Uncle De said that the Duke slept restlessly at night, with recurring fevers, and he hasn't woken up yet."

Meng Xuanli took the comb, paused, and didn't ask any more questions. After she finished cleaning up, she felt something was wrong and decided to go to the study to take a look.

As she passed through the corridor and approached the gate of the study, she suddenly saw two maids who were sweeping the floor gathered together next to the bamboo forest. They looked excited and spoke in very low voices, as if they were discussing something.

Meng Xuanli hadn't intended to pay any attention, but the word "granted marriage" stopped her in her tracks. She tilted her head, subconsciously hiding behind the pillars, holding her breath and concentrating.

"This is absolutely true. People are saying that our wife died in Yanjing, and His Majesty wants to marry General Zheng's daughter to the Duke."

"No wonder the Duke was away sick a few days ago, but... our wife is back in good health now. Why is there still a need for an arranged marriage?"

"I don't know about that, but Uncle De said we should keep our mouths shut and not ask any questions, so..."

"Let's get to work first."

The words themselves were directed at Meng Xuanli, and the deep meaning behind them enveloped her heart. She leaned against the slightly cool corridor pillar, feeling her body become so light, like life, unable to bear any weight.

Meng Xuanli sighed softly, realizing that in his current position, he should be angry, sad, even miserable. But strangely, after the surprise, what came over him was not any of these feelings, but a sense of relief that bordered on the absurd.

She felt so relieved that she thought it was good to "die" like this. At least, she didn't have to worry about how to leave in the future.

Meng Xuanli took a few steps back silently, turned around and walked back, his steps becoming faster and steadier, without a trace of hesitation.

The autumn sky was clear, and the ginkgo leaves beside Chengju rustled in the wind. Meng Xuanli raised his head slightly, looked at the sky, and breathed a long sigh of relief, as if he had taken off a heavy robe.

#

In the evening, Lu Guanque lay on the bed and slowly opened his eyes.

"Your Majesty, the Duke has woken up." The eunuch standing on the side suddenly shouted.

The emperor stood up and said regretfully, "You are finally awake. If you don't wake up again, I will be worried."

Lu Guanque lifted the blanket and, ignoring the objections, knelt on the ground and bowed respectfully: "Your Majesty, please revoke your decision on the marriage."

The emperor saw him faint yesterday and was nearly frightened to death. Later, he learned that he had contracted an epidemic disease and damaged his heart veins when he left the palace that day. Only then did he understand the reason.

The emperor sighed deeply and said, "Does it have to be like this?"

"Yes." Lu Guanque's eyes were clear and his voice was sharp.

The emperor helped him up and said helplessly, "There are many disputes in the court. It would be inappropriate to directly reject General Zheng's request now."

"How about this? I'll take a step back, and you'll take a step back too. Tomorrow I'll draft a new imperial edict, reinstating you. Announce it publicly, saying that Meng was enjoying herself in Yanjing when she accidentally contracted the epidemic. Worried about your wife, you left your palace and traveled thousands of miles to Yanjing."

"Now that Mrs. Meng has recovered from her illness, you can return to the Eastern Capital with her. This way, not only can you continue to stay in the court, but your beloved wife will still be yours."

"It's just that... for the next three months, you have to play along with Miss Zheng until General Zheng returns, and then we can talk about canceling the engagement."

Lu Guanque prostrated himself on the ground and said without hesitation, "Forgive me, I cannot agree to this..."

The emperor frowned, somewhat displeased. "Lu Guanque, I've already made so many concessions. I've even stopped you from marrying Miss Zheng. And you're so good, you don't even want to have a casual flirtation?"

Seeing Lu Guanque remained silent, he said sternly, "You have to accept it even if you don't want to. Just think of it as for me and the court. You have to pretend. When General Zheng returns victorious, I won't say a word about you."

The emperor stood up and said, "I have asked Imperial Physician Yu to stay. He will take care of you from now on. Don't faint from anger at the slightest provocation, like when you were a child."

"Your Majesty, I respectfully bid you farewell." Seeing him leave, Lu Guanque slowly stood up and sat on the Arhat couch.

He slowed down and asked Uncle De, "Has she been here?"

Uncle De stood aside and said truthfully, "Last night, Madam came once, and then... she didn't come anymore."

Lu Guanque took the medicine, gulped it down, and then sighed, "Heartless."

"Go tell her I'm awake and will be staying in Cheng tonight."

Uncle De was a little confused: "But you just woke up not long ago, can your body handle it?"

Lu Guanque glared at him and said gloomily, "Why can't you bear it?"

"I said the wrong thing, but I can handle it, I can handle it." Uncle De curled his lips and took the medicine bowl away.

Lu Guanque closed his eyes, changed his clothes, and left the study.

#

In the evening, golden rays of light filled the courtyard. Meng Xuanli was reading by the window, and her mood had improved a lot. When she learned that Lu Guanque had woken up, she put down her book and planned to go see him.

As soon as the door opened, Lu Guanque turned his back to Xuanli, gazing at her dimly. Meng Xuanli pursed her lips and noticed that his complexion looked better than last night, but his lips were still pale.

"You just woke up, and..." Meng Xuanli spoke first, "Come in first."

Lu Guanque raised his hand slightly, held her wrist, and said in a low voice, "Are you going to look for me?"

Meng Xuanli nodded and explained simply: "I just feel that visiting you is what I should do. But in the future, I shouldn't need to do it."

"What do you mean?" Lu Guanque frowned.

Meng Xuanli pulled his hand away, closed the door, and slowly walked into the inner room, where she sat on the Arhat couch. Her fingers stroked the book as she said coldly, "I know about the arranged marriage."

Lu Guanque's eyes lit up slightly, and his voice was low: "And then?"

"Then... you marry Miss Zheng, and I will remain dead." Meng Xuanli looked sideways and found that there was an almost cruel emotion in Lu Guanque's eyes.

Lu Guanque avoided her gaze and suddenly realized that everything he had done for her, whether it was going to Yanjing to bring her back or confronting the emperor, seemed like a joke.

"Marry? A dead person?"

Lu Guanque suppressed his anger and walked up to her. He held her chin and forced her to look at him: "You would rather be a dead person than be my wife?"

Meng Xuanli was filled with his violent aura. She frowned and asked in confusion, "I...I didn't ask you to marry me. Why are you blaming me?"

Lu Guanque's eyes were bloodshot, clearly irritated by her words. Seeing the confusion in her eyes, he said coldly, "Of course I blame you..."

Lu Guanque's nose was swollen and he felt like provoking her: "When Miss Zheng marries here, she will be the principal wife and you will be the concubine. How about that?"

Meng Xuanli was surprisingly quiet, and said calmly, "Isn't everyone out there saying I'm dead? And the Duke still talks about concubines and no concubines."

"Besides, whether she is a concubine or not is meaningless to you and me."

As soon as he finished speaking, Lu Guanque cupped her cheeks and kissed her hard. Meng Xuanli's eyes widened as she tried to push him away, but he only held her tighter. His anger stirred her, and she bit down on the tip of his tongue.

Lu Guanque did not leave, but laid her down on the couch, and they fought each other for half an hour.

Meng Xuanli's lips and tongue felt both painful and numb, as if they were being roasted by fire. It was so intense that everything felt hot. She kicked him eagerly, but Lu Guanque grabbed her feet and bent them forward, trapping her on the Arhat couch.

As the autumn dusk fell, the sky turned a deep blue. The two men stared at each other, their breaths mingling, as if any movement would mean the loss of the battle.

After a long stalemate, Lu Guanque finally let go of her legs, took off his outer robe with a cold face, revealing his plain white inner garment.

Meng Xuanli's breathing calmed down, and while he was loosening his clothes, she quietly stood up and tried to escape. Lu Guanque would not give her the chance, and directly carried her up and placed her on the bed.

"Lu Guanque, why?"

"Why do you treat me like this?"

"I clearly didn't say anything wrong."

Lu Guanque held her shoulders, looked down at her, and said quietly, "There's no reason, Ali, it's you who don't have me in your heart."

As soon as he finished speaking, Lu Guanque raised his hand and let down the curtain, blocking out the light and shadow. In the unfamiliar darkness, Meng Xuanli seemed to feel the pain in his heart.

He gently undid the layers of clothes. Meng Xuanli closed her eyes, her heart as calm as water: "Since nothing I say can satisfy you, then come on."

Lu Guanque's eyes were deep as he observed her calm expression. He leaned over carefully, grasped her ankle, and lowered his head to moisten her skin. "Say you're mine."

Meng Xuanli lay on his back, his body numb and his head full of stars. It was as if he had arrived in a heavenly palace, with everything white above, below, left and right.

She bit her lip, resisting him and needing him at the same time: "I'm not..."

Lu Guanque held her lips with the tip of his tongue, swirling them around patiently. Meng Xuanli's lips were red and swollen, and clear liquid was overflowing. She couldn't help but cry out, "I... I am yours... I am yours... Let me go, Lu Guanque..."

Lu Guanque seemed not to hear. When her body gradually became weak, his chin and lips were wet. He came to her ear and kissed her: "I smell like you all over me."

"Are you comfortable?"

Meng Xuanli's body felt weak and her skin was fragrant. She took a deep breath, distanced herself from him, and said lightly, "Comfortable."

Lu Guanque frowned, not liking her casual attitude: "Say it again."

Meng Xuanli seemed to have touched something, and suddenly raised his eyes, stunned and said: "Very comfortable."

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The author has something to say: This is the first time I’ve been stuck like this… Oh… I wrote nearly 10,000 words, but posted less than 5,000 [burst into tears] I’ll try to post more tomorrow [covering my face with laughter and tears]