Chapter 53 Isn’t it good for us to be like this now?

Zhou Chengyuan's makeup was too thick, and there were two straight lines on his face filled in by the makeup artist along the bridge of his nose and the right side of his cheek. He sat on the street like a lifelike handsome statue. He was originally going to shoot a magazine layout, but he didn't expect to meet Sasa crossing the road on the way home in a taxi. She was crying. He also wanted to find Sasa, so he got out of the car and stopped her.

At this moment, the two of them sat on a bench by the roadside, staring straight ahead, neither looking at the other. Sasa had finished crying and was now in the awkward state of post-crying. Zhou Chengyuan, no longer able to hear the sobbing, hesitated about whether to ask. Sasa, on the other hand, was wondering what she was going to do now that her Duli persona had collapsed so quickly in front of her "landlord."

Finally, the two people, who were so active in their thoughts, spoke at the same time. "Well," seeing that the other person had already spoken, the other person hurriedly said, "You go first." And then they all spoke in unison again.

Sasa didn't want to beat around the bush anymore and asked directly, "What do you want to tell me?"

Zhou Chengyuan said awkwardly, "I have something to trouble you with."

Sasa thanked him in her heart for not asking her questions, let alone comforting her. She hated having to open up to someone she didn't know well. It was too hypocritical and unlike herself. So she breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Just say it directly."

"Can I go home and get some clothes? I have to go for an audition tomorrow." After Zhou Chengyuan moved out, the clothes in the cloakroom had not been moved out yet, and half of the room was left. He said he would move slowly, but he later had to shoot photos and audition, and it dragged on for a month.

"Of course, then you can just move all the rest away." Sasa said

Zhou Chengyuan asked again tentatively, "It's unlikely that I can take it all away. The house I rented is a bit small. Can I still leave it there?"

Before Sasa could say anything, her phone rang. It was Lin Bozhou, who asked Sasa, "Are you free tonight? I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon. Let's meet if you have time."

Sasa turned her head and looked at Zhou Chengyuan. "Of course you can, but if you're in a hurry to put on the clothes, you might have to wait for me. I have to go meet someone now."

Zhou Chengyuan said, "Sure, I don't have anything to do. I'll just hang out here. When you're done, call me to go back with you."

-

The two said goodbye on the bench, one on the left and one on the right. Sasa carried her cake and walked towards the Ford Focus, while Zhou Chengyuan walked in another direction, waiting for Sasa's call and then going home together.

When she reached the entrance of the mall, she saw two black rivers of tears flowing through her mascara on her face. Sasa quickly lowered her head and ran in to buy a facial cleanser. After washing her face in the bathroom, she started waiting for Lin Bozhou in the coffee shop. She didn't see Zhou Chengyuan. After walking a few steps, she didn't know where to go. Finally, he sat back on the bench, slowly looking at the parking lots, waiting for her to come out.

-

Sasa and Lin Bozhou met at the Raffles in Dongzhimen, the closest shopping mall to Sasa. Half an hour later, Lin Bozhou arrived. Sasa was waiting for him at a small round table for two. Her cake was on the table. Lin Bozhou glanced at her and looked at her in surprise at her bare face. He asked, "Did I rush you to meet you because I was too anxious?"

Sasa shook her head and said with a smile, "No, I just happened to be doing some work nearby. What about you? Where are you from?"

Lin Bozhou said, "I'm in Beijing on business and will be leaving tomorrow." Seeing her eyes were red and haggard, Lin Bozhou asked, "Do you look like you've been crying?"

Sasa said very casually, "Well, I just went to the hospital for a checkup for depression." Then she pointed to the cake on the table. "This is the gift the doctor gave me for my recovery."

A trace of confusion and disbelief crossed Lin Bozhou's face. "Have you ever experienced depression?"

Sasa laughed and said, "Men and women in big cities, who doesn't have some mild depression?"

Lin Bozhou observed her expression, confirmed that she was indeed relaxed, and took a sip of the coffee Sasa had ordered. "Have you bought the house?"

Sasa shook her head and said, "I haven't finished buying it yet. I don't have enough money."

Lin Bozhou looked up at her. "How much more is left?"

Sasa smiled and said, "It's quite different, so I think it's quite a coincidence, because if you didn't come to see me today, I was also planning to look for you in the next two days."

Thinking that Sasa had just said that she was short of money, Lin Baizhou didn't say anything, waiting to hear what she meant, whether she wanted to continue asking for money or something else.

"I wanted to come and talk to you this time. I was a very sensitive person when I was young, so I got sick. After I started working, I learned to be less sensitive. When I met you, I had just let go of someone I had liked for many years."

Lin Bozhou looked at her. "He must be very charming."

"He was indeed very attractive to me back then, but now I think about it. He's a doctor with an average income, and he doesn't have the ability to spend money lavishly like you. He's also divorced. Apart from his good looks, he doesn't seem to be worthy of my love for him for all these years. Looking back, I don't think I was so moved. When we were dating, he would often return to the department at the drop of a hat. No matter how carefully I prepared a date, I had to give in to his work. I could only passively wait for him to come out of the operating room."

Sasa said, "But I just liked him for many years. He was divorced at that time, and I really wanted to start over with him."

When saying this, there was still a complex and indescribable emotion in Sasa's eyes.

"My friends said I was just relying on the feeling I had for him at the time. I initially disagreed. I thought, how can love be just a feeling? Love should be about being willing to stay together for a long time out of liking him, and the feeling of being filled up in the heart after two people have been together for a long time."

"Brother Bai Zhou, I'm not sure what your feelings are for me, but I feel a sense of reliance on you. From the first time I met you to collect a debt, you helped me with advice, to the second time I went to the press conference, you helped me cover up. I feel that you are very much like my helmsman. I feel dependent on you. You are more like someone who has been ahead of me and has experience, guiding me in the right direction."

"Last time in Shanghai, after we spent a few days together, I felt that I liked you. After returning to Beijing, you sent me money, saying that you wanted to help me. There were countless times when I wanted to spend it directly, to buy a bag that I could never afford, or to buy a car."

Lin Bozhou smiled and said, "The money was originally given to you. Spend it as you like. If you don't want to buy a house, you can buy something else."

"But before that, I want to ask you, what are your feelings for me?" Sasa asked with full confidence and a sweet smile. In her mind, she imagined the scene of eating a cake with Lin Baizhou later.

Lin Bozhou said as a matter of course, "Of course I like you, so I will help you when you need it."

Sasa thought he was going to continue, but Lin Bozhou stopped and looked at Sasa, so she frowned and asked, "So you gave me so much money, but you didn't mean to let me be your girlfriend. I thought you would at least confess to me..."

Lin Bozhou didn't expect Sasa to say that, and explained very "generously," "Long-distance relationships don't work. I'm in my thirties, and a relationship should start and end with sincerity. If you're willing to go back to Northeast China with me, I'll introduce you to everyone as the person I want to marry, and we can date with the goal of getting married, but I don't think you'd agree, so we can just stay in Beijing like we are now, waiting for me to come see you."

Sasa was disheartened by his words. "How come he's just like my annoying ex, making me sacrifice and wait passively? I can't even have a girlfriend in Beijing."

Lin Bozhou said, "Why are you so stubborn about this kind of relationship? Isn't it good for us to be like this now? I'm treating you well, and I don't ask you to do anything."

Sasa smiled. "So you have partners like this in many cities, right? When you want to get married, you can coax one to go back to Northeast China with you to get married. Don't you men have love in your hearts? It all depends on who is more suitable."

Lin Baizhou did not deny it and said slowly, "At my age, I have my own job and stable social relationships, and I also have my own way of dealing with people. You are arrogant and beautiful, but it is obvious that you don't have much consideration in your character. When facing you, I can't make too many demands. In this respect, you are very different from them." Lin Baizhou said.

Sasa flew into a rage when she heard those two words. She snatched the cake off the table and dropped it on the floor. "So we both have our own calculations. You have your own social circle in Northeast China, and I have my own things to attend to in Beijing. After talking to you, I'm even more certain that our relationship is a financial transaction... Lin Bozhou, you're a lot like my charging station. But charging stations are like that. The moment they're charged, they wait for the moment they're freed, ready to go full power. I suddenly understood today. I thought I was absorbing energy from you, but in reality, you were also absorbing mine. We're both nothing noble in front of each other!"

"I didn't expect you to think this way. I thought it was good enough for everyone to be happy when they are together."

Sasa said in disbelief, "But you told me you wanted to get married."

Lin Bozhou said as a matter of course, "I also want to get married now, but if you don't want to go back to Northeast China, I can't stay in Beijing."

Sasa said subconsciously, Oh my God... Can we get married without love?

Sasa looked at the cake on the ground and said, "I will slowly transfer the money you sent me back today. We won't meet in the future. The relationship I want is someone who can celebrate my new life with me by eating a get-well cake. By the time you have time to eat my cake, I think it will have gone bad."

Sasa stood up to leave, and Lin Bozhou looked up at her. "I'm not wrong. You're full of arrogance. But Chen Su, life isn't a romance novel. When people are nice to someone, they definitely have a purpose. You can do with the money yourself. I'm not asking you to return it."

Sasa nodded. "I used to be hesitant about our relationship. If I hadn't gone to the doctor today, I might have just turned a blind eye and continued talking about love with you while counting money with you."

"But just think that I value myself too much and don't want to be a person with a lot of money waiting for someone."