Weaving a web

As soon as Ji Xian saw Bai Shunan, he hugged him excitedly. Without taking the time to reminisce about the past, he handed Shunan a room card and said quickly while pacing back and forth: "I just booked a hotel room for you. Aren't you tired? You can go in and rest for a while. I will call you before the wedding starts. There is a change of clothes and a suit in the room. The suit is for the wedding later. Your size should not have changed much..."

Ji Xian mumbled a lot, and Bai Shunan looked at Ji Xian speechlessly, "I understand, Ji Xian, can you please not be so nervous?"

"How can I not be nervous? Do you know how long I have been looking forward to it?"

"I've already heard about the dozens of desperate voice messages you sent in the middle of the night a while ago."

"I can't help it. I love her so much."

Bai Shunan nodded, "But I remember, wasn't the wedding held in the morning?"

"I saw you didn't open the other invitation I sent you. After coming here, she found that she liked the way the afternoon sun shines through the stained glass windows. I also like her for being thoughtful..."

"Stop, I get it."

"I'm so scared of something happening at the wedding. I started panicking a few days ago, and I felt even worse when I couldn't get through to you. Luckily, you're okay. Otherwise, with these two things combined, I don't know how panicked I would be."

"No, even if it's an accident it will only be a surprise."

"I didn't expect you to comfort me so much, Sunan." Jixian calmed down a little, "Are you okay now?"

"Much better," Bai Shunan knew what Ji Xian was talking about, "most of the time I can only see him for a short while when I'm weak."

"It is getting better. Shunan, remember, this is not your problem. It has never been your problem. Believe me."

"Okay," Bai Shunan looked at Ji Xian and calmed down a lot, "I'll go rest first."

"Go, go." Ji Xian started walking around the room again.

"Take a deep breath."

"You think I don't have it?"

Bai Shunan walked into the room that Ji Xian had opened. He first took a shower, changed his clothes, and then lay on the bed, trying to fall asleep, but he was still wide awake. He couldn't help but sigh, "That coffee really works."

He recalled every detail of the past two days and felt extremely bad. He looked at the light on the ceiling, the bright warm yellow light. He stared at it, yawned tiredly, closed his eyes, and waited until Ji Xian came to find him.

…

Bai Shunan attended the wedding as he had hoped. The moment he entered the church, the events of the previous two days seemed like they had happened years ago, and the tinge of complaint faded. He stood in front of the seats in the front row on the right, leaning sideways to look behind him.

The door was slowly pushed open, and the warm afternoon sun shone obliquely, shining on the bride who was walking slowly towards her, emitting a holy glow, dreamily stirring the forgotten beautiful memories deep in the heart of the person being looked at.

She walked towards him and he stepped forward to meet her.

The wedding went smoothly, the long music echoing through the church. Bai Shunan watched the scene before him, the two standing together, gazing at each other with joy. Just by watching, he was easily moved to happiness. He felt a sense of relief, a growing satisfaction, and an involuntary surge of emotion. He pondered the possibility of love, the impulse of this extra love that he hadn't nurtured and had even abandoned.

Bai Shunan looked past the newlyweds exchanging rings and saw the sculpture clearly.

At the dinner party, a pale man with a bad look stood beside the bride. Bai Shunan had noticed this man before. He had an exceptionally good-looking appearance, but his brows were always furrowed, and his expression was displeased with a hint of disgust, which was particularly noticeable among the many smiling faces.

Just as Bai Shunan was about to startle, a familiar figure appeared in his sight. Ah Hui came over with a glass of wine in hand. After what happened in the car, Bai Shunan didn't really want to confront him. Ah Hui clinked his glass with Bai Shunan and said, "I don't know many people here, and you seem to be the most familiar with me."

"Where's Qiuqiu?"

"She's already asleep." Ah Hui looked in the direction Bai Shunan was looking. "That's the bride's younger brother, the one who drank too much and vomited all night yesterday. He was supposed to come pick you up."

"Really? He must be reluctant to part with his bride."

Ah Hui snorted and laughed. "They have a terrible relationship. Most of the wine he drank yesterday was poured by her. Just a few years ago, they even had a dispute over property, but it ended up being nothing and things got really bad together."

"So inviting him to the wedding is to ease the relationship?"

Ah Hui shook his head and was silent for a while. "I think it should be considered showing off."

"Show off," Bai Shunan pondered the words, thinking about what was particularly worth showing off about Ji Xian, and found that there was quite a lot. "Show off what?"

"Show off your happiness."

Bai Shunan was stunned. He looked up at the two people standing together in front of him. The bride's brother happened to glance over here at this time, and the bride also looked over.

"Mingyue is angry." Ah Hui said in a flat tone.

Bai Shunan didn't notice, he just thought the bride's smile was a little playful. He turned around and found Ah Hui still looking over there, and he felt something was wrong. He glanced at Ah Hui's hand and saw that he was not wearing a ring. He recalled that Qiu Qiu's mother was not wearing a ring during the video call this morning. "You know them very well."

"Not really. I made a lot of mistakes when I was young."

"She is very beautiful." Bai Shunan said tentatively.

Ah Hui said "hmm" absentmindedly.

Bai Shunan pursed his lips and said, "Excuse me, why did you go to see your wife in November?"

"Huh?" Ah Hui was obviously stunned for a moment, then he came back to his senses and looked at Bai Shunan, "My birthday is in November, do you want to come to the party too..."

Ah Hui spoke to himself, "That's fine. Qiuqiu likes you very much. Maybe you can give her a surprise then."

"Well, I'm not sure if I'll be free then," Bai Shunan thought for a moment, "We'll see then... Wait, isn't it only June now? See you in November?"

"Oh, right, I didn't tell you that she and I have already broken up."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"fine."

"You can see that the two people getting married today are very loving."

"Yeah, it's obvious. They're so affectionate they're almost showing it off to everyone else... Wait," Ah Hui suddenly realized something. "You're not doubting me... How could you doubt me like that?"

"No doubt about it."

"Okay." Ah Hui was immediately coaxed into submission. Just as he was about to say something, he glanced ahead and changed his words to, "Mingyue is coming over."

Bai Shunan looked over there. The bride was still standing there, and Jixian was right next to her, showing no sign of coming over. He realized something he hadn't verified. "Who is Mingyue?"

Ah Hui realized something and raised his hand hastily to point in a direction. Bai Shunan looked over and saw the person he pointed at walking towards him with a smile on his face. Suddenly, a young man with dyed white hair walked up to Mingyue, so Mingyue stopped.

"Be careful if you're dealing with Mingyue," Ah Hui warned, "He's really good at pretending."

After seeing Ji Xian and his lover finish a dance, Bai Shunan finally felt a little sleepy. After resolving a misunderstanding, he left early with satisfaction. On the way back to the hotel, he walked to the church again. After finding that he could still enter, he walked in. The feeling of the afternoon was evoked in his heart again, and this time it was more real. He felt fear. Even if he was thinking about it in his heart, in a corner that he knew no one else would know, he would still imagine the possibility of being discovered.

He sat in the same position he had sat before, looking ahead. In the quiet air, disturbed by sleepiness, his body, which had caught a cold, began to show signs of illness. The ancient bells rang, and Bai Shunan couldn't tell whether it was his imagination or whether it came from the bells he heard in the morning.

It appeared again.

The phantom stood before the statue, its swollen body obscuring it. He seemed alive, his chest heaving. The eyes on his horrifying, grotesque face, which should have been closed, opened, stretching open his swollen lids to reveal his rotting eyes. Water dripped in curving lines. He lowered his eyes, staring intently at the eleven-year-old Bai Shunan, the Bai Shunan who had escaped time and again.

Don't look back, don't look. My brain protested repeatedly.

Bai Shunan sat there, accepting it powerlessly and calmly. He could see the buttons on his clothes that were untied, smell the fishy smell of water when his mother washed the fish, and hear his rapid breathing as he ran wildly on the road. All this was far more real than that day. He sat there, not escaping as usual, letting everything sweep over him. For this reason, any numbing tricks were ineffective. All his senses felt a hidden and thick bitterness that stickyly covered him. Only then did he realize that hatred was so obvious and yet so unspeakable.

Bai Shunan stared ahead. The fog dissipated, and a part of his soul departed. Yet, in this fading consciousness, he suddenly realized that it wasn't departure, but something new had been born, no longer in a cycle. Eleven-year-old Bai Shunan, arms outstretched, walked and ran briskly along the road, as if he could take flight at any moment. And so, staggering, rising and falling, he walked further and further, heading into the distant...

The sleepiness became more and more obvious, reaching a heavy level. Something gradually surfaced and became clear: he hated him a little bit.

He saw the statue clearly, it had a look of pain, a look of death.

"But I love him. I still love him."

The feeling was so illusory, the sound so faint, yet it lingered in his mind for a long time, effortlessly overturning his denial. He pondered the possibility of love, but no matter how he thought, he could only think of Lu Jinfeng. And so, light overflowed through the cracks, passing through the transparent foam, landing richly and freely on the warm place. The spider of memory nimbly crawled through the deserted, dusty corners, weaving a web of love from the broken moments.