Late Pregnancy Storm

After the start of spring, Wu Zetian's belly swelled up like an inflating balloon, making it increasingly difficult for her to move around.

Li Zhi moved all the memorials to Chengxiang Hall, ostensibly to "let his son familiarize himself with government affairs in advance."

(Inner monologue: Is this the earliest known example of prenatal education for a prince?)

On this day, the Ministry of War sent an urgent message: the Western Turks had invaded the border.

Just as Li Zhi was about to get angry, Wu Meiniang suddenly clutched her stomach and cried out, "Ouch!"

"What's wrong?" Li Zhi instantly forgot about the military situation.

"Your son kicks me whenever he hears about war," Wu Zetian said, sounding aggrieved. "He must think it's a waste of resources and manpower."

Li Zhi was both amused and exasperated, so he softened his tone and suggested, "Then what do you think, my son?"

Wu Zetian was waiting for this, and immediately offered a plan: "Why not send envoys with tea and silk to divide and weaken them, and then have General Su Dingfang deploy troops on the border? Using both kindness and force, wouldn't that save money compared to going to war directly?"

(Inner monologue: The first lesson in prenatal education—cost-effectiveness!)

When the news spread, it caused an uproar in the previous dynasty.

The senior officials, led by Changsun Wuji, jointly submitted a memorial, expressing their deep sorrow and indignation: "When a hen crows at dawn, the country is on the verge of collapse!"

Upon hearing this, Wu Meiniang touched her belly and sighed, "Your Majesty, your son says he doesn't understand what 'hen' means."

Li Zhi immediately sneered: "Issue my decree that from now on, any memorial to the throne containing such words shall be punished with twenty strokes of the cane!"

(Inner monologue: Perfectly exemplifies the "Daddy's Protective Rule"!)

Before we knew it, it was the Shangsi Festival on the third day of the third lunar month.

As was customary, the Emperor and Empress were to attend the Qujiang Banquet, but Wu Meiniang, being nine months pregnant, found it inconvenient.

Emperor Gaozong (Li Zhi) simply decreed that the banquet be held by the Taiye Pond, and even ordered that twelve layers of brocade be laid out on the waterside pavilion.

Halfway through the banquet, a palace maid accidentally knocked over a wine cup, splashing it onto Wu Meiniang's skirt.

Consort Xiao immediately stood up: "Sister, shall we go change your clothes together?"

Seeing the other person's shifty eyes, Wu Meiniang suddenly clutched her forehead and groaned, "Your Majesty... I feel dizzy..."

Li Zhi rushed over and noticed that the wine stains on her skirt had a suspicious pinkish tinge.

The imperial physician was shocked to report after examining the wine: "The wine has been mixed with safflower juice, which promotes blood circulation!"

The entire room fell silent.

Consort Xiao knelt down with a thud: "Your Majesty, I am innocent!"

Wu Meiniang weakly tugged at Li Zhi's sleeve: "Your Majesty, someone must be using Consort Shu's name to do things... Why don't we interrogate the palace servants who handled the wine today separately?"

(Inner monologue: Workplace rule: Be precise in your targets, and don't make too many enemies.)

The joint investigation by the three judicial departments indeed revealed that the female official of the Imperial Kitchen had been bribed by Consort Xiao.

Faced with irrefutable evidence, Li Zhi finally gave up on his wife.

That night, Wu Zetian was making baby clothes for her unborn child by candlelight when Li Zhi suddenly wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"Meiniang," he said in a muffled voice, "Am I a complete failure? I couldn't even protect you all..."

Wu Meiniang turned around and cupped his face in her hands: "Your Majesty has done very well." She took his hand and placed it on her belly, just as the baby turned over.

“Look,” she said with a radiant smile, “my son says that his father is the most amazing.”

Li Zhi buried his face in her neck and whispered after a long while, "After the child is born, I will depose Consort Shu."

Wu Meiniang stroked his trembling back, her gaze passing over the flickering candlelight and looking towards the direction of the Lizheng Hall.

(Inner monologue: It's time to make room for the prince.)

As the night rain tapped against the window, the lotus blossoms in Taiye Pond quietly began to unfurl their new buds.