Chapter 43 Confession 05
05
*
Xing Chenyu is not a person who likes to show off, and has been like this since he was a child.
In her original family before entering the Luo family, her parents were not the kind of parents who were willing to spend time and energy to accompany and take care of her, so she had become accustomed to facing everything alone and to bearing all the joys and sorrows silently.
Even with her best friend Xiao Ou, she usually only shares happy things, and with the Luo family, she is used to reporting good news but not bad news.
So she naturally chose to keep the change in Luo Jingqu's attitude towards her to herself.
First, she simply couldn't speak, and second, there was no way she could speak about this matter.
And his attitude towards her changed from being slightly distant at the beginning to almost turning a blind eye now.
Xiao Ou actually noticed that she was in a low mood recently and asked her tentatively, but she always evaded the question by saying "nothing".
"Yuyu, why doesn't your brother come to pick you up after school recently?" Xiao Ou poked her arm and asked after school that day.
There was really nothing wrong with this problem, but Xing Chenyu's hands paused as she packed her things, and her eyelashes trembled.
"My brother has been busy with work lately," she said in a muffled voice after adjusting for two seconds, forcing back the heat in her eyes. "And he seems to be in a relationship."
"Huh?!" Xiao Ou immediately exploded, "Holy crap! How did they suddenly fall in love? I was just thinking about my best friend becoming my sister-in-law! How did he suddenly get snatched away by someone else?"
The word "grab" instantly made her feel even more uncomfortable.
She was already very resistant to this topic and had no intention of continuing what Xiao Ou said. In Xiao Ou's surprised eyes, she said goodbye and left.
Along the way, she sat in the car, feeling so bad that she didn't even want to look at her phone.
But what she didn't expect was that when she entered the Luo family's gate, she knew what a real blow to the head meant.
There were four people sitting on the sofa in the Luo family's huge living room on the first floor. She recognized three of them, and she knew the only one she didn't know at once.
When Luo's parents saw her come in, they immediately smiled and waved at her: "Yingying, come and say hello to your brother Jingqu's girlfriend."
She stood frozen at the door, clutching the straps of her backpack tightly with both hands, her teeth almost biting through her lips.
She felt everyone's eyes were on her, including Luo Jingqu.
A few seconds seemed like a century, and she finally moved and walked towards the sofa.
One step, two steps.
She felt as if she was walking barefoot on the edge of a knife, and the soles of her feet were covered in blood.
Waves of piercing pain.
When she came to the sofa, she finally met the gaze of the girl sitting next to Luo Jingqu.
She was a very beautiful and elegant girl with an intellectual temperament. She was the type that even girls would like.
It is undeniable that she and Luo Jingqu sitting together are indeed a match made in heaven.
And that made her heart ache even more.
"Hello, Yuyu."
The girl smiled at her gently, "Just call me Sister Xiaofu."
She moved her lips: "...Sister Xiaofu."
"Uncle and aunt just praised you for being smart and cute," Xiaofu said, "I also want to have a sister like you."
She didn't know what to say in response, so she curled her lips into a smile and immediately took a step back.
As his eyes dodged, he happened to meet Luo Jingqu's gaze.
Xing Chenyu felt in a trance that she seemed to have not seen him for a long time. In the past, except when she went to school, she seemed to be talking to him all the time, always close to him, and almost inseparable from him.
But now, although they were both in the area of the sofa in the living room, she felt that there was an unfathomable gap between her and him.
The look in his eyes when he looked at her no longer had the superficial tenderness and doting he had before, but only a dull and distant gaze.
It even made her feel a little strange.
She felt her heart ached beyond measure, and it was impossible for her to continue staying in this suffocating space. She could only quietly make an excuse that she was going to do her homework and hurriedly fled the area with the sofa.
The moment she went upstairs, she heard Luo's mother enthusiastically inviting Xiaofu to attend her 18th birthday family dinner the day after tomorrow, and Xiaofu agreed immediately.
Xing Chenyu rubbed his red eyes and went upstairs in three or two steps.
After entering the room, she closed the door and slid down to the floor.
She felt really pathetic.
The person she cared about so much was taken away from her, but she couldn't open her mouth to get him back, and she couldn't refuse what was happening before her eyes.
She didn't want to see the girl named Xiaofu, nor did she want to see her sitting with Luo Jingqu, and she didn't want to see the two of them appearing as a couple on her eighteenth birthday.
But no one would hear her "I don't want to".
-
On the day of Xing Chenyu’s eighteenth birthday.
Before dinner, Luo's parents brought a bunch of birthday gifts to her room - the latest clothes, bags and jewelry that every girl dreams of. She thanked them with a smile, hugged them, and changed into one of the lavender dresses at Luo's mother's suggestion.
They told her that from today on, she was an adult, she could freely embrace her youth and the infinite possibilities of the future, and she could find a boy she truly liked and fall in love with him without affecting her studies.
She must have been incredibly happy. Father and Mother Luo treated her well, letting her live like a little princess and giving her complete freedom. Pandora's box had been opened today, and she officially had a pass to try many things she had never done before.
Everything is so beautiful.
But she wasn't happy at all.
She waited from midnight last night until she could no longer hold on and fell asleep in the morning, but she didn't receive a single birthday greeting from Luo Jingqu.
On her birthday last year, he sent her birthday wishes right at midnight. Even when she got up for breakfast, he had someone deliver the most popular and hard-to-book cake in the city to her. He was the first to sing birthday songs for her and gave her a set of paintbrushes she had always dreamed of.
She looked at herself in the mirror and felt dazed for a moment.
She wondered if she had not been taken into the Luo family, if she had never met Luo Jingqu, if she had never received his love and tenderness, would she not be so greedy and heartbroken today?
…
No matter how much she resisted, as the protagonist of the day, she had to go downstairs to attend the birthday dinner.
A huge cake with candles was placed on the dining table. Everyone was sitting around it. Luo's mother pulled her to sit next to Xiaofu and said to her, "Yuyu, this is the cake your sister Xiaofu picked out especially for you. Go and thank her."
Her heart trembled when she heard this, and she looked towards Xiaofu, and inevitably met Luo Jingqu's gaze.
He was wearing a white shirt today, and the warm light in the living room made his face look even more handsome. When he saw her, he pursed his thin lips slightly.
He didn't smile, and his eyes were a little deep.
She didn't dare look at him again and could only whisper "thank you" to Xiaofu's gentle smiling face.
At this time, Luo's father stood up to turn off the lights, and everyone began to sing birthday songs for her. She tried her best to smile and make herself look happy.
"Make a wish."
After the birthday song was over, she heard Luo Jingqu, who had been silent all this time, suddenly speak.
Fortunately, in the darkness, no one could see her reaction at this moment. She bit her lips tightly, closed her eyes which turned red in an instant, and then clasped her hands together.
When she heard his voice, her hands began to tremble.
After making a wish, she blew out the candles and welcomed the light again amid everyone's applause.
No one knew what wish she had just made.
-
Even though Luo Jingqu didn't do anything intimate with Xiaofu, eating with them was still extremely painful for Xing Chenyu. After the birthday dinner was finally over, she went upstairs early.
After entering the room, she did not change her clothes to take a shower, nor did she sort out the gifts she had received. She just sat silently in front of the dressing mirror.
I don’t know how much time had passed, maybe it was almost dawn, she suddenly stood up from the chair, rushed to the door of her room, and then slammed the door open.
Then she was stunned.
Because she saw Luo Jingqu standing at the door of her room.
He didn't seem to expect her to open the door suddenly. There was a moment of surprise on his face. He paused when he was about to knock on the door, then slowly lowered his hand.
She opened her mouth, not knowing what to say to him for a moment, and just stared at him.
The rooms of the two younger brothers and Luo's parents were all downstairs. At this moment, the entire corridor upstairs was silent, and the two of them just stood quietly opposite each other.
Luo Jingqu stood in front of her and finally asked, "What were you going to do just now?"
He asked almost word by word.
She froze in an instant.
What should she say.
Did she say: I'm crazy, I really can't stand it anymore, I want to tell you that I like you, not the kind of like I like for my brother?
After a long silence, she replied, "...I want to go to the kitchen to get some water."
He looked at her motionlessly for a long time, then turned sideways.
She suppressed the soreness in her nose, grabbed her palms, and took a step forward.
Then she paused again.
She turned her head to look at him: "What about you? What do you want to see me about?"
Luo Jingqu didn't say anything.
She whispered, "Are you trying to tell me that you and Sister Xiaofu are getting married?"
He still didn't say anything, his deep gaze fell on her, a little dark and unclear for a moment.
Xing Chenyu waited for a long time but there was no answer from him. She took a deep breath, passed by him, and walked forward to go downstairs.
For a moment, she felt that all the emotions she had been holding back for a while were about to explode, and she wanted to turn around and tell him all the secrets in her heart that were like the giant beast lurking in her heart.
But she was still rational after all, and these emotions eventually turned into tears of despair, silently lingering in her eyes.
Unexpectedly, just when she was about to reach the stairs, her hand was suddenly grabbed by him from behind.
He gripped her so hard that he practically forced her to turn towards him.
When he saw her eyes filled with tears, his Adam's apple rolled up and down. Then, he looked down at her and asked her, "Why are you crying?"
She didn't say anything, but she couldn't control her tears and started to roll out like her life depended on it.
Luo Jingqu seemed to have reached his limit of patience. He grabbed her hand and took her directly back to his room at the other end of the corridor.
At this moment, there was no light in his room, only the faint moonlight from outside the window came in. He closed the door, held her hand, and stared into her eyes.
His voice was already hoarse: "You don't want to know why I went to find you just now."
"Xing Chenyu, you don't want to know how I, whom you regard as your brother, really think of you."
"…Do you know what birthday wish I just made?"
After a while, she stared at him and said with a sob, "I hope you only have eyes for me."
When he heard this, fire ignited in his eyes.
It was as if the last pillar supporting sanity collapsed, and all sanity and patience collapsed in an instant.
Desire washed over him like a tsunami.
The next second, he gently pressed her against the cabinet beside the door, lowered his head and kissed her.
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