Walking along the quiet tree-lined path, Yan Yiming's steps on the stones were a little hurried, even though she had resisted this place for a long time.
The small villa hidden in the suburbs of S City was remote and quiet. Yan Yiming pushed open the door that was familiar but had become unfamiliar due to time. The aunt who was trimming the trees saw her and her eyebrows curved, "A Ming is here."
The tone was still familiar and friendly, just like every time he came here every few days, but for Yan Yiming, he hadn't seen anything real here for eight years.
"Ah, here I come," Yan Yiming didn't know where to start for a moment and responded awkwardly.
Auntie just thought that Yan Yiming was unwilling to come here as before, so she smiled without feeling surprised and picked up the scissors again, "Madam is in the room, she should have just woken up."
Yan Yiming nodded. Standing here, he could faintly hear the sound of the piano in the room.
This is a sunny villa specially built for her recuperation. The air is excellent and it is extremely quiet. There is also a hot spring which is very good for recuperation. The walls of the villa are all made of glass with very good light transmittance. Sitting in the house and looking out, you can see green shade everywhere.
A wide view and plenty of sunshine always make people feel better.
Just like Mother Yan who is sitting quietly in front of the piano at this moment, the song she is playing is called "Vanessa's Smile". She will only play this kind of light-hearted piece when she is in a good mood.
Yan Yiming looked at her back. She was still wearing the exquisite and solemn long dress, and her hair was tied as delicately as before, but her figure seemed to be a little thinner than he remembered. Yan Yiming did not disturb her. He sat on the sofa beside her and watched her carefully. He waited until she finished playing the song, then he clapped his hands and said, "It sounds good."
Mother Yan was slightly stunned, and her pale face showed undisguised surprise when she saw Yan Yiming.
She wanted to stand up and walk towards her daughter, but she did not move. She continued to sit in front of the piano, her beautiful face still showing a bit of hesitation and timidity.
Yan Yiming suddenly felt distressed.
Even though the mistake was made when she was not sober, it still made her more sensitive and fragile. Yan Yiming suddenly wanted to hold her thin and frail body in his arms.
She thought so and did so.
Yan Yiming stood up, walked over to Yan's mother while she looked a little bewildered, and gently held her in his arms from behind. His voice was gentle and patient, no longer filled with fear and impatience as before.
"It's really beautiful," she said. Yan Yiming could sense her momentary stiffness, and he suppressed the bitterness in his heart and said softly, "I haven't heard it for a long time. Can you play another one?"
"sure!"
Mother Yan answered almost instantly, her thin and slender fingers falling on the piano keys, and her voice contained a hint of tentative pleading that was easily detectable, "Can I pray for a girl?"
"I just wanted to listen to this song, too," Yan Yiming said with a smile as he let her go and sat beside him. "We are truly of one mind, mother and daughter."
Mother Yan's hands on the piano keys trembled slightly, and she dared not look at her daughter's face again. After a long while, only the sound of the piano lingered slowly in her ears.
The sunlight shone through the green shade and through the glass and fell on her face, it was warm, and Yan Yiming suddenly wanted to cry.
She really missed such a quiet and peaceful afternoon for too long.
From the very beginning, my parents' acquaintance was a bloody coincidence that should not have happened. The truly pampered young lady fell madly in love with the young man who had to return home because his family fell into poverty. From then on, the most unpleasant marriage in Yan Yiming's life began. One party was wholeheartedly happy, while the other party was dealing with it absent-mindedly.
Their beginning was not a happy one, and even the almost compassionate efforts made by Yan's mother later on did not make this marriage happy.
Yan Yiming once heard from her grandfather that her arrival allowed the two of them to have a rare time together, but that time did not seem to last too long. In the more than 20 years since Yan Yiming began to understand things and have memories, she has never seen her father show any concern for her mother.
Resentment accumulates slowly.
They never quarreled because their mother would always tolerate them, but they gradually drifted apart. His father began to not come home at regular intervals, and his mother became taciturn. Yan Yiming often saw her locking herself in the room and sitting there for the entire day.
Yan Yiming was only twelve years old at that time. She didn't understand her father's indifference, nor her mother's persistence. She asked her father why he didn't go home. Her father touched her head and said that he was very busy and there was no other reason.
But my mother still cried. Yan Yiming called his father and asked him to come home, but the sweet voice of his secretary came from the other end, saying that Mr. Yan was busy.
Yan Yiming, who didn't know how to conceal her emotions, felt extreme anger for the first time. She didn't tell anyone and went to the company to find her father. She wanted to see what he was busy with, and no one dared to stop her. She pushed open her father's office, but saw the secretary who had just responded to her on the phone that her father was very busy standing behind her father, gently rubbing his temples.
She probably lowered her head and said something to him. There was a smile on her father's face, a smile he had never shown in front of his mother. The two of them talked like lovers until she appeared.
The moment he saw her, the secretary hurriedly stepped back, and the usually steady father showed panic for the first time.
That was the beginning of all nightmares. Yan Yiming felt a nausea she had never felt before. She was still young at that time and didn't know how to control her emotions. She looked at the two of them with the most vicious eyes, then went home crying.
She wanted to tell her mother what she saw, but when she returned home she met her uncle who happened to come to their house. Her uncle asked her what was wrong with a smile. Yan Yiming rubbed her eyes and told her uncle everything she saw. Her uncle's face suddenly changed, and then he showed an expression that Yan Yiming had never understood at the time.
He asked her not to tell her mother, and she asked him why, and he said it was because her mother was already very sad.
At first she thought that she was just sad because she was in a bad mood, but later she realized that her uncle clearly meant that her life was already difficult.
She kept the secret. That day, when she was crying in the house until her eyes were swollen, her father finally came home. Yan Yiming couldn't help feeling nauseous when she thought of his smile at that time. She didn't want to say a word to her father. Finally, it was her father who spoke. He said that the secretary had left.
Yan Yiming turned over from the bed. At such a young age, she had learned to speak with a sneer. She said, "I wish she would die."
It’s really ridiculous to think about it now. People’s emotions are always selfish. At that time, she wanted that woman to die, but she didn’t think that her father was even more unforgivable.
My father kept saying sorry to her over and over again, and she seemed to have forgiven him. After a long time, she told my father that I did not tell my mother.
The father was silent for a long time and then said thank you to her.
All the filth was hidden, and his father finally returned home. Yan Yiming thought that everything could finally return to normal, but within half a month, the most unacceptable thing happened.
Her mother committed suicide. When Yan Yiming ran into the hospital like a madman, she was standing at the corner of the hospital and heard her uncle and father talking. Yan Yiming then realized that she had not been able to hide the secret from her mother and she still knew about it.
The person was finally rescued, but the final examination results showed that the mother had suffered from severe depression, so serious that she considered committing suicide.
She found the words her mother wrote every day and night while hiding in the house. She was confessing the beginning of this love and the marriage that her grandfather had obtained through certain means. She said that everything was a sin she had committed. On the last page, she said that her father had his love, so she chose to fulfill him.
So that day, the brief rapprochement between Yan Yiming and his father disappeared without a trace.
After waking up again, the mother refused to admit that she was sick and firmly refused to take treatment or medication. The family had no choice but to ask more people to take care of her and watch over her. She would still smile and gently ask Yan Yiming how his studies were going and what happened today, just like a normal person.
Three years passed in a blink of an eye, and she did not commit suicide or self-harm again. However, on the day Yan Yiming was leaving high school, she approached the door and saw her kneeling on the ground alone, mumbling the familiar confession from her diary.
Yan Yiming approached her with some fear in his heart and asked her what she was doing.
She turned around and looked at her and smiled, "I'm talking to your father." Then her eyes fell on the sofa next to her, "Ah, he went upstairs."
Yan Yiming suddenly felt a fear he had never felt before, and was terrified for a moment.
Because there has been no one sitting on the sofa since she came in.
She began to have hallucinations, and her mental state was quietly deteriorating again.
Her family no longer dared to allow her to continue like this. She refused to go to the hospital, so they had to ask a doctor to come to their home for treatment. However, she refused to believe that there was anything wrong with her. She frantically yelled at the doctor to get out. She cried and pulled her father's sleeve, saying that she was not sick.
She refused to take medicine, and if she did, she would vomit it all out. She locked herself in the room, locked the door, and would not let anyone in.
Yan Yiming looked at the night sky in despair, walked downstairs, and saw his father sitting alone on the sofa. The room was filled with smoke. The father and daughter looked at each other in the dark, but no words were spoken.
At that time, Yan Yiming had never felt any fear towards her mother. She was expecting her to recover as before, so she was not on guard at all.
When he was eighteen, it was his mother's birthday and his father spent it with her. Yan Yiming fell asleep in a rare relaxed mood. He woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to go to the bathroom. When he opened his eyes, he saw his mother's pale face in the moonlight.
Yan Yiming was startled, then he breathed a sigh of relief and asked her why she was here and whether she wanted to sleep with her.
The mother looked at her silently, and suddenly raised her hand. Yan Yiming was surprised to see the knife flashing with cold light in her hand. She cried and pointed the tip of the knife at her neck with trembling hands. She said that she was her father's sin, and as a daughter, she was also guilty.
You are original sin, she said, you are born guilty.
Yan Yiming pushed her away and shouted in panic. She became even more anxious in the panic and cut Yan Yiming's arm, which was used to block the knife.
The father rushed in when he heard the noise. Shocked, he quickly pulled the mother away. The knife fell to the ground. For the whole night, there was dead silence for the three of them.
The doctor bandaged her, and her mother took the medicine and fell asleep. Yan Yiming went downstairs covering his wound and met his father. He was such a serious man, but his eyes were red that day.
The indifference over the years finally caused irreparable damage, and he really regretted it.
When her mother woke up the next day, she was shocked when she saw her bandaged wound and asked her what happened. Yan Yiming remembered what she said last night and subconsciously avoided her with fear. She stood there in surprise and pitifulness, and didn't remember what happened yesterday at all.
Even if it was an injury, even if she had no intention of dying, the damage had already been left. That year she was admitted to university, and she left S City and went to a place farther away.
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