Volume 4: Phoenix Crying in the Ninth Heaven
**Section 1: Diplomatic Diaper Battlefield**
The white marble steps of the Golden Throne Hall suddenly began tap dancing, shaking the letter of credence presented by the Northern Wei envoy into a glowing diaper. Sanbao rolled into the hall, holding a bottle of milk oozing with poisonous foam: "Mom! The Northern Wei Imperial Master is crowdfunding a ransom in his livestream! He wants Sibao's autographed bib!"
Gu Jinghong looked up from the peace document and found that the silk handwriting was twisting into a barrage of words: [Northern Wei: Dear, we support seven-day unconditional returns and exchanges for ceding territory and paying compensation] [Southern Liang: Dear, we suggest you just acknowledge your father directly]
The poisonous tongue system suddenly popped out a holographic pacifier:
- The envoy's crown is pinned with a fluorescent brooch that reads "Seeking Sponsorship."
- The seal of the imperial letter is printed with the same "Begging for a five-star review" as on Taobao
- The most outrageous thing is the tribute box, velvet lined with diamond-studded pacifiers
- The Northern Wei prince cried during a livestream: "They made me chew my jade seal on a teething stick!"
"Diplomatic fraud detected," the system displayed a comforting doll icon, "Starting "Baby Negotiation" 1.0!" The dragon chair transformed into a multi-functional diaper changing table.
Sibao's dragon horn scanned his brainwaves: "Shamelessness Index = Daddy's grams of coffee grounds x 27!" Before he could finish his words, the Northern Wei Imperial Master swung a glowing diaper chain and pounced: "If you don't agree to the marriage, your country will be bombarded with negative reviews!"
The bronze sword spirit floated by while chewing on the jade belt: "Young master, Kan position..." Twenty-eight mechanical confinement nannies emerged from the ground, and the milk bottles were engraved with [Cleaner No. 27 is carrying out the 27th civilized porcelain-hitting experiment].
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**Section 2: Poisonous Tongue Baby-Raising Offensive**
"This agreement should be accepted..." The Minister of Rites had just begun to speak when the system suddenly sprayed a rainbow of saliva: "Detected a loss of sovereignty and humiliation of the nation. Max verbal attack mode activated!"
The hardcore output of the parenting system shatters three views:
- Sanbao uses blockchain to generate a "Timeline of Envoys' Bedwetting History"
- Sibao modified the dragon horn into a 5G black material player (showing the Northern Wei prince wearing open crotch pants VR)
- The system pours AD calcium milk into the tribute box (jewelry will have a fluorescent watermark of "10 times compensation for fakes")
- Erbao draws "Social Death Nine Squares" for the National Master (automatically pushes to the city's hot search)
"The latest plan to insult people!" The system suddenly switched to a venomous voice: [Based on the host's flustered index, the rocking car insult mode is activated] The holographic screen popped up:
- The territorial clause was transcoded into a ghost version of the children's song "Little White Rabbit"
- Compensation claims transformed into diaper consumption statistics
- The "saliva volume" flooding effect is activated when the marriage agreement is activated
Suddenly, the diplomatic letters exploded into a rain of diapers, and the mechanical confinement nanny popped up a warning: [The 27th fraud experiment failed...] Sibao climbed onto the robotic arm, and the Longjiao data stream cracked the program - the interstellar screen showed that the male protagonist was bound by twenty-seven diplomatic codes, and the experimental log was marked "2023.02.27 Father's Love and Poisonous Tongue Day".
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**Section 3: Holographic Dad Post**
When the robotic confinement nanny started the blackmailing process, Sibao suddenly pulled out an electronic rattle and said, "Activate the ultimate secret—Daddy's baby-raising Vlog!"
The system suddenly blue screen disco:
- Sanbao's abacus generates a "raise high" animated emoji (the envoys collectively peed their pants)
- Sibao Dragon Horn Projection Baby Monitor (male protagonist confronts party A late at night VR)
- Mo Dao raises the glowing pacifier flag (the national letter spontaneously combusts into ashes)
- 100,000 tributes sang "Where Are We Going, Dad?" and performed square dance
Mechanical maternity nurses crashed en masse, and baby bottles transformed into fluorescent microphones. An interstellar childcare surveillance system popped out of the crotch of the Northern Wei crown prince—in which the male protagonist used a letter from the emperor to fold paper airplanes for the four babies, each inscribed with "Father's Love Special Plane Direct to the Scene of the Fight."
"Experiment 27 failed..." A mechanical voice echoed as the hall shrank into a children's diplomatic playhouse. Sibao fished a quantum bib from the ashes, and the embroidery thread emerged from the lunar negotiation hall: "Daddy said that every verbal battle is a sign of love for you~"
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