Volume 4: Phoenix Crying in the Ninth Heaven
**Section 1: Fear of the Enemy**
The Northern Wei army's war drums suddenly began to beat with a jolt of anxiety, turning Sibao's newly constructed sand table into a heart rate monitor. Sanbao rolled into the central military tent, holding an abacus emitting pink waves. "Mother! The enemy general's gallstones are being auctioned off live on the TV! He said he was frightened into a relic by this cute baby!"
Gu Jinghong looked up from his military manual and noticed the fluttering trajectory of the command flags forming a barrage of messages: [Warning! Enemy adrenaline is mimicking the host's lying position. Feed them popping candies to activate their escape instincts.]
Erbao's poisonous milk bottle exploded into a holographic projection:
- Heavy Cavalry put a fluorescent sticker on their shield saying "Please be gentle"
- Archers use arrows to form an SOS formation
- The most outrageous thing is the siege tower, with a warning sign on each floor saying "There are people with phobia of cute babies inside"
- Beiwei Shuaiqi cried during a livestream: "Who in my family understands? Last night I dreamt Sibao was riding me like a rocking car!"
"The Art of War, Strategies 1,774!" Gu Jinghong stuffed the four treasures into the automatic loudspeaker, "Use nursery rhymes to give the enemy an electrocardiogram."
Sibao's dragon horn suddenly scanned his brainwaves: "Fear index = Daddy's caffeine level x 27!" Before he could finish his words, an enemy envoy crept in, holding a white flag and a letter of surrender, complete with a "Chicken Cha Cha" dance. "Our marshal peed his pants, please send me some diapers!"
The bronze sword spirit floated by, chewing on a gallstone: "Young master, shock position..." Twenty-eight mechanical psychologists broke out of the ground, and the stethoscopes were engraved with [Cleaner No. 27 is performing the 27th emotional experiment].
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**Section 2: Holographic Horror House**
"We should attack this formation..." Just as the deputy general drew his Mo Dao, Sibao suddenly flashed his VR glasses: "Primitive threat detected, BabyBus Fright Night Mode activated!"
The quadruplets' nuclear energy cuteness shattered three views:
- Sanbao uses blockchain to generate a "Pants Wetting Ranking" (real-time speed race among enemy generals)
- Sibao converted the dragon horn into a 5D holographic projector (to play Daddy changing diapers VR)
- Erbao poured AD calcium milk onto the battlefield (strawberry-flavored words "Run Away" appeared on the ground)
- Dabao draws a "social death moment" emoticon pack for the enemy general (automatically generates a ghost video)
"Latest intimidation plan!" The venomous system suddenly interrupted: [Based on the host's parenting experience, it is recommended to activate the sleep-inducing blackening mode] The holographic screen popped up:
- The Mo Dao transforms into a giant pacifier
- Arrow rain is converted into "Lullaby" note rain
- Moat activates the "rocking car" vibration mode (plays "Mom Hit Me Again" Remix)
Suddenly, the military formation exploded into a rainbow, and the mechanical doctor popped up a warning: [The 27th emotion experiment failed...] Sibao climbed onto the projector, and the dragon horn data stream cracked the program - the interstellar picture showed that the male protagonist was bound by twenty-seven fear formulas, and the experimental log was marked "2023.02.27 Father's Love Intimidation Day".
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**Section 3: Family Exorcism**
When the robot doctor activated the mental pollution, Sibao suddenly took out the electronic family portrait: "Activate the ultimate secret - Dad's beard prick!"
Erbao's poisonous milk bottle exploded quantum family affection:
- Sanbao's abacus generates a "Daddy, hold me up high" animated emoji (enemies automatically drop their armor)
- Sibao Dragon Horn Projection Baby Carriage Drifting VR (War Horses Kneel and Beg to Be Carried)
- Mo Dao raised a fluorescent flag with a family photo printed on it (the commander's tent raised a white diaper flag)
- 100,000 people sang "Only Mother is Good in the World" and performed square dance
Robot doctors crashed en masse, their stethoscopes transformed into electronic sleep aids. A video of interstellar parenting emerged from the armor of a Northern Wei marshal—surveillance footage showed the protagonist using a Mo Dao as a rocking horse for the infant, Sibao, with each rocking producing a recording of "Jia Jia Jia."
"Experiment 27 failed..." A mechanical voice echoed, and the battlefield shrank into a children's playhouse. Sibao fished out a quantum rattle from the pile of armor, and the sound waves condensed into a lunar amusement park: "Daddy said that every time I get scared, it's in the shape of my love for you~"
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