Volume 4: Phoenix Crying in the Ninth Heaven
**Section 1: Rebellious Galaxy Driving School**
As the monks raised their glowing hoes and chanted "Farm and raise cubs," the crater suddenly cracked and a warning sign appeared: [Warning! Do not travel through the wormhole without an infant seat installed] [Hyperspace Administration Reminder: Please recite the 27 rules for staying at home first]
The pacifier pendant vibrates in the male protagonist's palm:
> **"Unlicensed operation of Fatherly Mecha detected"**
> **"You have 27 traffic violation records:"**
> **"Including but not limited to: smashing the demon king's nose with a meteorite bottle"**
> **"Failure to fasten Sibao's seatbelt while speeding"**
Sibao's dragon horns projected a holographic advertisement for the Galaxy Driving School: "Special training class for interstellar fathers! We guarantee you'll learn it! If you can't learn, you can use your beard to poke your face to pay for your tuition!" In the picture, the Big Dipper was performing a reverse parking maneuver in the second driving test with the handle of a spoon, and a comet was dragging a tail flame with the words "Twenty-seven make-up exams as a souvenir."
"Dad!" Sibao grabbed the male protagonist's shirt. "The examiner is a Quantum Shiba Inu! It said you bought your Fatherly Love Driver's License on Taobao for 9.9 yuan!" A Shiba Inu wearing a peaked cap condensed in the starry sky, a fluorescent pointer in its paws: "Woof! Prove you've got the makings of a good dad!"
The Shiba Inu's tail flicked out a test question:
1. Use a knife to cut out slices of milk of equal weight (error ≤ 0.1g)
2. Do not laugh during the entire recitation of the "Sleep Mantra"
3. The most fatal one is the third question——
Write "Wife, I was wrong" with AD calcium milk at the center of the Milky Way
The male protagonist's hand trembles and he spills half a can of milk powder. The pacifier pendant suddenly displays a blue screen: "Starting... the ultimate cheating program..."
---
**Section 2: Cosmic-level strap bridge**
When the Shiba Inu examiner was about to issue a ticket, Sibao suddenly pulled out a digital family photo: "Look, dog! Mommy is smiling at you in the photo!"
The woman in the photo smiled slightly, and the Shiba Inu's tail instantly stiffened: "Detected... an SSS-level beauty's killer move!"
The final data of the parenting system's residual soul burning:
> **"Emotional energy conversion..."**
> **"Disassembling the main body to build the Star Path——"**
> **"Warning! This action will permanently delete Personality 27"**
The entire moon suddenly deformed:
- Craters are cast into strap buckles
- Stardust condenses into anti-slip bottle texture
- The most shocking thing is that the wreckage of 27 machines automatically spliced together to form a strap bridge across the galaxy
- A digital timer appears on the bridge: **27 seconds remaining to pass**
"Run!" The male protagonist threw Sibao into the sling. The Shiba Inu examiner suddenly jumped onto the bridge: "Woof! Take me to elope and you will be exempt from the test!"
The strap bridge begins to collapse:
- Sanbao abacus beads are laid out as a cushion to prevent falls (each bead is engraved with "Daddy, run!")
- Sibao Dragon Horn Scan Mommy Signal Source (Earth Courtyard Coordinates Flashing)
- The monks collectively placed their life-saving magic weapons under the bridge:
? Alchemy furnace fire boost
? Flying swords as cleats
The Buddha statue cheered: "The Buddha said that taking care of children does not count as killing!"
The pacifier pendant completely shattered: "Be happy..." In the starlight, a strawberry-scented wormhole appeared at the end of the sling bridge, with half a diaper white flag fluttering at the entrance.
---
**Section 3: Lullaby Landing**
When the strap bridge completely collapsed, the hero was only three meters away from the wormhole. Sibao suddenly burst into tears.
"Wow!!!"
The sound waves shattered the wormhole barrier, and the earth's gravity instantly captured the father and son.
The fragments of the pacifier pendant transformed into a parachute, its surface printed with the musical notation of "Lullaby." The monks' natal magic treasures sang in unison: "Sleep, sleep, my dear baby..."
The male protagonist tumbled and fell to the sound of the song, crashing into his own wheat field while protecting Sibao. Under the moonlight, the familiar thatched roof was covered with starlight.
"Ahem..." The hero spat out the wheat seedlings in his mouth and found Sibao poking his nose with his chubby little hand: "Dad, the monk's flying sword pierced our roof and turned it into a hedgehog..."
Looking up, I saw twenty-seven flying swords tethered to the thatched roof, each with a small milk bottle hanging from its sash. The IOUs attached to the sword tassels fluttered in the wind: "Medicine King Valley Mortgage: Hundred-Year-Old Ganoderma Lucidum for Visitation Rights. Sword Master Mortgage: My Life-Sharing Flying Sword for a Ju Gao Gao Experience Voucher."
Half a glowing diaper hung under the eaves, and stardust gradually spelled out the final sentence:
**This journey to the stars is not an expedition**
**Diapers and bottles are the way home**
**——The final words of Xingji Yuesao No. 27**
Sibao pulled out a wrinkled family photo from his arms. New words appeared on the back of the photo: "Next time you change your diaper... remember to call me auntie..." The night breeze blew in the scent of wheat, and the male protagonist buried his face in Sibao's milky neck: "Well, we're going home."
As Earth's morning light pierced the clouds, a final speck of stardust landed in Sibao's palm, condensing into a miniature pacifier keychain. At the far end of the wheat field, a large army of monks carrying hoes lumbered toward them. Leading them was an elder from the Medicine King Valley, holding up a milk bottle. "Sibao! Look at Grandpa's quantum spinach!"
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