Volume 3: The Cute Lord of the Immortal Path
"Elder, you are practicing the Way of Argumentation, right?" The system suddenly switched to electronic music mode. "Detected excessive argumentative energy. Recommended to take tranquilizing oral liquid~"
The purple-robed elder's whisk froze in mid-air. Sanbao's abacus beads spelled out the following message: [Spiritual Power Fluctuation ≈ Menopausal Hormone Disorder]. Sibao, riding on the bronze sword spirit, tossed rainbow popping candies into the alchemy furnace: "Grandpa, your furnace is emitting pink bubbles!"
Section 1: Scientific Cultivation Seminar
The painting style of Lundao Peak in the morning light is unique:
- The mountain protection array has been changed to a carousel special effect
- The flying sword has a QR code "Shared Sword Control 0.5 Spirit Stones/Hour"
- Cranes use laser tail feathers to draw emoticons in the sky
- The Alchemy Furnace spontaneously plays the RAP version of "Compendium of Materia Medica"
"Silence!" Elder Tianshu had just stood up and slammed his desk when the system suddenly interrupted: "Vocal cord polyps detected. Daily use of rainbow throat lozenges is recommended~"
Sibao took the opportunity to climb onto the podium, and Longjiao thrust into the spirit-testing tablet: "Third sister, calculate quickly!" Sanbao's abacus exploded into a stream of data:
- The principle of fasting = basal metabolic rate < spiritual energy intake
- Sword energy consumption = weight × sword friction coefficient ÷ shame
- Thunder tribulation intensity = the black history content of the tribulation survivor 2
"Nonsense!" Elder Tianquan's beard curled with anger, "How can the cultivation of immortals be measured with abacus beads!" Before he finished speaking, twenty-eight mechanical immortal puppets broke through the air, with [Cleaner No. 27·Taoism Maintenance Type] engraved on their chests.
Section 2: Venomous Tongue Dimensionality Attack
"This child is naughty. He should be punished by copying the Heart Purification Mantra ten thousand times..." Elder Yuheng had just begun to speak when the system suddenly projected a holographic PPT:
- Page 1: Surveillance video of you stealing spiritual beast feed three hundred years ago
- Page 2: Last month's retreat was actually to catch up on the reading record of "The Tyrannical Immortal Falls in Love with Me"
- Page 3: The cost of repairing your natal magic weapon is as high as 270,000 spirit stones (installment payment recommended)
Erbao's poisonous milk bottle suddenly sprayed a rainbow: "Grandpa, there's milkshake coming out of your head!" Elder Yuheng's jade crown was corroded, revealing a metal skull engraved with [Subject 027-5].
"Alert! Dark history leak prevention system activated!" The mechanical immortal puppet's eyes glowed red. Sibao rode the bronze sword spirit around the field to show off his affection, while Sanbao's abacus violently cracked the restriction: "Daddy said that the essence of immortal cultivation is quantum entanglement!"
The holographic image suddenly flashed in the interstellar laboratory - the male protagonist was tied up in a torrent of data by twenty-seven chains, and the incubator behind him was marked "2023.02.27 Dao Heart Reshaping Day".
Section 3: Family Code Critical Hit
When the mechanical fairy puppet started the memory erasure program, Sibao suddenly took out the family photo and said, "Activate the ultimate secret - Dad's goodnight kiss!"
The beads of the Three Treasures form the anti-quantum field:
- Erbao's poisonous milk makes the cleaning program jump to "Dig and Dig"
- Sibao Dragon Corner Projection: The image of a child being held high by his father
- Dabao used a Mo Dao to raise the white flag of the diaper B-BOX
- The system continuously outputs barrages of complaints: "You guys are practicing the art of argument, right? +999 energy for argument!"
The mechanical immortal puppets suddenly freeze, and Peppa Pig embroidery appears on their Taoist robes. Elder Tianshu's whisk automatically disintegrates, and the handle ejects an interstellar USB drive—surveillance footage reveals the male protagonist being forced to tell a bedtime story to twenty-seven immortal puppets.
"The 27th failure to maintain the Daoist tradition..." A mechanical voice echoed as the elders' crowns exploded simultaneously, revealing the barcodes on their scalps. Sibao picked up a quantum pacifier from the rubble, and a holographic map of lunar craters appeared on its surface.
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