I'm here to stay
I'm right here and you didn't notice?
——Quoted from -Some Like It Hot!!-Gintama
-1-
...How many times has this happened?
She can't remember.
-2-
M pulled the sickle out of the corpse's chest and looked at the long mirror standing in the hall.
The self in the mirror had half of his face splattered with blood, his hands were dripping with blood, and his skirt was dripping with blood.
...Hmm.
M tilted his head.
The small hairpin on top of her head was also tilted.
-3-
"This is crooked. My hands are dirty. Hello."
The ball of light hanging above the banquet paused, flew over, and pushed the hairpin back to its proper position.
"Is this the last batch?"
“This is the last batch.”
M put away her sickle, tore off her cumbersome and complicated long skirt, and stepped over the pile of corpses in the hall.
She slowly walked towards the open stands outside the hall. Her steps were not heavy, and even seemed a little nonchalant.
Stepping over the corpses piled up in the hall was like stepping over stones on the road.
“How many times has this happened…”
-4-
The hairpin that had been straightened fell sideways again because of the careless steps.
She didn't tie her hair properly to begin with.
Why should she dress herself up carefully? She is not her elder sister.
The ball of light hanging behind it seemed to be hit by the jade pendant on the hairpin. It slowed down a few steps and flew over again.
M slowly stretched out his hand, the complicated knot on the torn cuffs was blown up by the wind, and his hand under the sleeve pressed on the horizontal bar made of glass.
I don’t know when it started, but no matter how beautiful the dress you wear, in the end, it will turn into a few bloody shrouds.
M waved his sleeves briskly, and the torn knot spun in the air like a maple leaf.
She laughed cheerfully and watched the last piece of beautiful clothing with a clearly visible pattern being blown away by the wind.
-5-
Blowing towards the city below the stands and under His Majesty's king.
The city is bathed in a bloody sunset.
Or perhaps, it is soaked in blood like the sunset.
M stretched and held up his cheek. "This view is really nice. I feel like I haven't seen it before."
"You haven't seen it."
The ball of light said, "This is the 1,007th time the flow has reversed, and it's also the first time you've massacred an entire city."
-6-
oh.
M turned to look at it: "Why do you always remember boring things so clearly?"
"Maybe it's because I don't get to do much fun."
"Hey, watch your words, you're following me."
"Sorry. I didn't have much opportunity to do anything interesting in the past. I still tend to record boring details."
……Oh.
M turned his head again, gazing at the blood-stained city: "The one thousand and seven times..."
-7-
M wasn't able to communicate calmly with the ball of light from the beginning. At first, in each backflow, she killed it every time she saw it, stabbing it with a knife, pinching it with her fingernails, breaking it with poison powder, and cutting holes with an ox bone knife...
M is merciless.
Even though the light ball really worked hard to help her reverse the world every time, it really deserved to be killed.
Because the existence of the "prisoner" as a bystander is so neutral and calm to the extreme. No matter how hard she tries, no matter how tragic her sister's death is—
It basically floats by, subtly saying "Oh, I saw that coming, it's within expectations."
And sometimes it will suddenly make strange comments like "You are so beautiful".
-8-
Who would like to hear that kind of comment after their sister's tragic death?
What's more, the person who made this comment was a prisoner. When a prisoner, such a neutral and indifferent person, praises "beauty", it can be directly expanded to "You are so beautiful when you struggle repeatedly like a weak insect."
...M doesn't like to think, but she is not stupid.
There was a time when she really wanted to rush into the Eternal Life Prison, find out the guy's true form, and kill him four hundred times.
-9-
...but, later.
Too many times... too many times... too many...
Stabbed to death.
[Killed.]
[Falling off a cliff…]
[He willingly died to protect the young refugees he adopted...]
In the countless tragic deaths of my sister, in the countless efforts and tragedies, the calm and indifferent prisoner is really too much like...
-10-
【Fulcrum.】
M closed his eyes and opened them again.
She refused to speculate about the prisoner's deeper nature: she couldn't bear any more at the moment.
M has now even forgotten how to take a deep breath, which requires shock and excitement. His "sister's repeated tragic deaths" have obviously worn away these two functions.
So, sometimes, when you feel like you need to take a deep breath, just blink and smile.
Smile and face the next time.
-11-
The second time she killed La Mei, but her sister was trampled to death while giving alms to refugees.
The third time she killed the refugee, but her sister took the young refugee and parted ways with her, dying alone at the foot of the cliff.
The fourth time she didn't kill anyone and made sure her sister didn't come into contact with any children, but her sister married a man...
The fifth time.
The sixth time.
The seventh time.
No.…
One thousand and seven times.
"This time, you slaughtered the entire city. There are no corrupt officials, no accumulated wealth, and no population that can serve as resources..."
The light ball beside her said, "Although it's rough, it is indeed an effective method."
The war did not reach here because the city had become a dead city and no one would covet a dead city.
There are no extra humans. No chance to ask for kindness.
As for Camellia...
Before she died, M knocked her unconscious and locked her in an extremely secure room with heavy iron chains.
Then, she put on the courtesan's robe, hastily tied her hair, ignored the humans who wanted to ask for help, and walked directly into the banquet in the royal palace at the highest point of the city.
-12-
The courtesan held a sickle and slaughtered all the princes and nobles.
-13-
This time, there were no random, fresh possibilities to disturb my sister.
This is a dead city, and she tore all the man-eating mouths apart.
She removed all death...
"ah."
The ball of light fluctuated and suddenly said, "That human is dead."
M tilted his head.
She no longer had the energy to be shocked; she had experienced this too many times.
She just rolled her eyes slowly and blankly.
"What...there's obviously no one else..."
-14-
The prisoners in the jail gathered the surveillance wires placed on the human, and what was happening in the room was clear at a glance.
"She committed suicide."
She hung herself from the rafters with the strings of her skirt, and...
The prisoner's eyes swept over the words scribbled vigorously in blood on the desk.
[You bloody, horrible lunatic, lunatic, lunatic, lunatic! ! ]
[I really regret having fed you——]
-15-
The prisoner withdrew his gaze and moved his fingertips slightly, allowing the surveillance light to burn the suicide note.
One thousand and seven times.
There was no need for her to remember the cause of death so clearly.
-16-
"Oh, suicide..."
But M knew her sister all too well. She didn't even need to witness the scene to guess: "Because I raised a terrifying lunatic who massacred a city, my sister completely hates me?"
The prisoner made no reply.
He gave an ambiguous explanation for the first time: "She is just an ordinary human being. She may just be frightened by the dead city."
"……Oh."
-17-
M twisted her lips oddly. She seemed to want to laugh, but couldn't quite manage it, so she turned her head away and continued to stare at the knot swaying in the wind.
Below the platform, the city soaked in blood was swaying in front of her eyes.
"...You know what?"
M whispered, "Sometimes, I really hate her."
-18-
So many times, so many times, so many times—
"Every time, her death was dedicated to someone other than me."
Children.
elder.
□□.
Soldiers guarding the city.
A family of three unable to reunite...
And this time, a whole city of people.
-19-
My sister is always like this.
He kept saying that she was the most important, bewitched her with cakes, meals and clothes, and then sacrificed his life for a random stray animal that aroused her compassion.
...leaving her far behind.
M knew from the beginning that she was different from her sister.
But now she understood that she and her sister—
-20-
It's the exact opposite.
It is a reality and a reflection that can never be together.
-twenty one-
"She is the sister you acknowledge. She is an independent human being who pursues her own wishes and ideals."
Of course you will be in the fulfilling life she wants, but it can't be the crazy and stupid you that has been repeated a thousand and seven times.
It can't be just you.
"...Yes, of course I understand. I don't desire... I don't want..."
-twenty two-
M stretched out his bloody and muddy hands and covered his face.
Of course she doesn't want any bondage or uniqueness.
She has worked hard and persisted until now just to fulfill the promise she made to herself.
She had understood long ago, when she saw the bright and fresh camellia happily feeding the cats and dogs—she had understood—
Human affection is by no means the only thing.
-twenty three-
If you have two children, love them both.
If you have two parents, love them both.
Four generations living under one roof, a harmonious family...there's so much, so much to love.
Then again, does she really want to claim her sister's "only one"?
It seemed like she hadn’t spoken to her sister for a long time… Her sister’s world, my world… Between us…
Sometimes, just by being around her sister, she would have visions of one of her deaths.
Then, I almost suffocated.
-twenty four-
She will protect her sister throughout her life and ensure she dies peacefully.
But does she really need to get close to her and be close to her?
She was a banshee, she was hopelessly mad, she never wanted to—
"What are you thinking about?"
The ball of light suddenly said, "Have you decided to stop? This is already one thousand and seven times. It's really..."
"No."
M put down his hand, his cheek was covered with blood and mud, and his hair was scattered to one side.
She laughed again. This time it was a full laugh.
-25-
"I'm just a little tired. Let's go back again, for the thousand and eighth time."
“…”
-26-
But the ball of light was silent for a while and did not emit any brilliant light.
Because from its perspective, there is really no complete smile -
From its perspective, the black shadow leaning against the glazed rooftop was constantly and constantly shedding tears of blood.
No appearance, no gender, no name.
The contact between them has never been defined by the human world.
But the organ saw it—
The Black Banshee is crying.
Keep crying.
-27-
"What's wrong? Is the signal bad over there?"
"……No."
The ball of light jumped slightly. "But, from what I've observed, your sister's love for you was genuine."
"……oh."
"It's just that family affection can never be equal. Family affection in the human world is often unequal, and the way each person gives may not be the same, but as long as they give to each other, they can maintain the relationship very well."
M heard the guy say, "So, there's no need to be sad. The love is real, just in different ways and with different levels. You know she will always put you first."
……Yeah.
"Yes."
“…”
-28-
M closed his eyes again.
"Yes. Of course. But sometimes, I feel... my sister is just... too wonderful."
It’s so beautiful.
So she can regard me as the most important, but not the only one.
My sister always... wants to save those... ah.
"Oh, indeed. I understand what you mean. If we talk about 'only' and 'selfish', the only human emotion associated with these two words is probably... 'love'?"
The thoughtful guy said, "Love in the human world seems to be a very selfish thing."
M hummed.
"Then do you know what 'love' is?"
"...I'm not sure about that, sorry."
"You know what I mean."
-29-
They stared blankly at the sunset for a while. After a long while, M said:
"Even if love is selfish and unique, there's no love in the human world that can endure a thousand and seven reincarnations, right? ...Discussing this is pointless...Get ready for the next reversal."
Right.
Yeah?
-30-
The organ thought naively, if I have to be killed by the Black Banshee a thousand and seven times, I would be quite happy with it.
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