It's completely dark
Things aren't so bad. Thousands of dice are rolling.
The whole thing is carried on the back and the body is cut and paid.
Cut off this body that carries all the karma.
——Quoted from-When They Cry-らっぷびと
-1-
【love】.
The first time Organ encountered this word was when he used a light ball to travel to a certain world and retrieve a wisher who had been shattered into pieces.
It was not as powerful as it is now. Even though it could barely condense a small ball of energy that could pass through the prison cage, that ball did not have the ability to speak, eat, smell, etc.
Even the vision is a blurry black and white.
I can’t see the color of life, nor can I tell beauty from ugliness. It’s just a simple ball of light.
However, the organist does not need to distinguish between beauty and ugliness. All he needs is to collect the remains of the wishers after they commit suicide.
It is to sit in prison peacefully, and spending more time looking at the outside world will only disturb its peace.
-2-
Just like hating beautiful things, the organ will not experience a free life.
That disgusted him as well.
-3-
So, a ball of light that can reverse the world sounds amazing, but in fact, it is just a box for collecting corpses.
What do you need so many functions for?
Just, that day.
The organ manipulated the light ball to carefully put the wisher who had committed suicide into his pocket. After adjusting the temperature to the most suitable temperature for cultivating flower fertilizer, Ben was about to leave.
The next moment, he heard a guitar performance.
A wandering singer from the underground station, that human, with a bright smile on his face, stood by the wall and plucked the strings of his guitar.
He had no idea that a poor man who tried to overthrow the world but was crushed by it had just died on the other side of the wall.
-4-
The poor man's body parts were hidden in the organ's pockets, and he heard the music on this side of the wall with his body.
…That’s very, very beautiful music.
The organ couldn't help but stop for a long time for the music.
Even though the singer, the smile and the people around him are all blurred black and white in the perspective, the music is in color.
In fact, the organist never thinks that what he plays is called music: he rarely even touches on what emotions are. He just sits in the church, strictly follows the instructions on the score, and presses the keys accurately.
But, that day, at that moment, the wandering singer played...
-5-
Not from a church, not from a giant caged organ.
That's a love song.
-6-
The wandering singer played the song, his eyes always following the girl selling ice cream across the street.
Perhaps it was because the ice cream made by the girl was too sweet, or perhaps the wandering singer felt that he would never really have any connection with her, so the love song was so light, bright and colorful.
It is one person's admiration for another person, and also one person's fantasy about another person.
It won't be exposed, it won't be muddied.
Just pure love.
-7-
——That love song carries emotions that the organ has never touched and cannot understand.
The people around were coming and going in a hurry. Only the ball of light that could not be seen by humans stayed there and listened to the entire song.
He didn't know the title of the song, nor did he understand what the guitarist wanted to express, but, the organ thought, he suddenly thought...
Love is so beautiful.
-8-
The things his brother talked about were, after all, nothing more than illusions outside the cage. The organ knew that he could not have life.
But...that love song...
It actually reached his ears, it actually surrounded his eyes, allowing him to possess it for a brief moment.
The organ at that time did not understand what love was, nor did it understand the various calculations, interests, compromises, or impurities in the human world.
What he doesn't understand even more is the distance between the art of fantasy and reality.
but……
Isn't it enough to just have one song?
-9-
He is neither human nor alive, has no emotions, and can be resurrected infinitely.
Such a prisoner certainly cannot desire to possess someone, create a home, or maintain the eternity and uniqueness of a certain emotion.
The organ simply heard a love song and gave birth to a desire for that love song.
【love】.
It's just pure love written in the song, bright, lively, and doesn't need anyone else's love.
-10-
Come to think of it, musical instruments were the only things he owned in prison, and composing music was one of the few pleasures he could master.
So, if I make a wish like “I want to compose a love story” - it must be a wish that is within reach and can be realized, right?
-11-
So, the organ began to try to compose "Love".
But he didn't understand what love was, and he didn't desire it at all - how could he possibly bypass everything and write it directly into the song?
The organ can't write that kind of music.
No matter how many times he sorted it out, no matter how many times he reincarnated, no matter how long he thought about it, what he could play with his fingertips...
It's still just a key being pressed.
Not that love song.
Not the fresh and brilliant thing he wanted.
-12-
The organ didn't even understand why he couldn't write, just like an uneducated ant didn't understand why he couldn't write. He had no idea, confused and bewildered.
He has a piano and he can compose music.
Why can't we play love?
Why can’t you play something as bright and colorful as that singer?
-13-
Even the brother who knows everything about the outside world can't explain what love is. Perhaps, love has nothing to do with children, right?
...However, the only people he could ask were the children in the monastery in the infinite flow.
And his true body...his shell...
He was just a pale, sickly child.
never mind.
-14-
The organist eventually gave up this wish.
He is actually very good at giving up. Just like putting aside the desire of "I want to leave prison", the organ gently put aside the desire of "I want to write love songs".
Eternal sentence means learning to give up the things you desire. Silence is the most maddening thing, and the organ doesn't want to drive you crazy at all.
He was a good boy, and he wanted to play with his brother from time to time. He didn't want to disrupt his peace and destroy himself in despair.
Look at those wishers, he doesn't need any more cautionary tales.
-15-
...But, the Black Banshee is a completely different existence.
In fact, every time the organ flowed backwards, he felt that she was about to give up, and every time he flowed backwards, he would ask her if she wanted to give up.
But she always sneered.
The word "give up" is definitely something that the Black Banshee would crush with her hands.
The organ watched her, studied her, and pondered her with curiosity every word and action of hers—
But the organ still doesn't understand the black banshee, just like he doesn't understand love.
-16-
And the organ is very good at giving up.
So, when asked to go back for the thousand and eighth time, the organ thought, it's time.
Completely put an end to these repeated retrospections.
He was indeed powerful, but the reversal of the world more than a thousand times consumed too much energy - he was not a god who was born powerful, his power also came from a twisted source, it was not infinite.
Moreover, in order to fulfill the Black Banshee's wish and concentrate on observing the Black Banshee, he has not received other wishers for a long time, and has not received fresh flower fertilizer for a long time.
...Without fresh fertilizer and regular organ music, those things under the sea of flowers cannot be suppressed and it is impossible to maintain peace.
What's more, everything has a price.
The Black Banshee who attempts to resurrect from the dead has to pay a price, and so does the organ that can reverse the flow of the world.
-17-
Before, the cost could only be offset by the broken and disappeared souls of those who made wishes.
But the Black Banshee persisted from beginning to end, constantly reversing the world...
Each time, the entire price had to be paid by the organ itself.
The humans that the Black Banshee wanted to save died a thousand and seven times according to their predetermined fate, but the Organ had actually died many more times than her in order to continue this interesting and beautiful observation.
...There is no fresh fertilizer, so I have to make it myself.
Having paid the price of countless complete backflows, and having to accept only the unbreakable wish-maker like the Black Banshee, he is almost reaching his limit in maintaining the peace of the Eternal Life Prison on his own.
-18-
You know, there is only one prisoner in the Eternal Life Prison, the Organ, and there is no administrator or cellmate.
It is precisely because he is here alone that he has some limited "freedom".
Planting flowers, singing hymns, and playing the organ can be considered necessary activities for relaxation in prison, and also for the purpose of better repairing the prison; going back to the world to play with his brother can be considered an extremely boring pleasure -
But what if his power reaches its limit, what if the peace he maintains collapses?
...Perhaps, he will completely lose his control over the prison.
-19-
The prison of eternal life is not part of the organ.
It is the source of countless twisted deaths and the evil result created by the Banshee.
The organ opened its eyes as a substitute for the Banshee, so he could never escape from this prison and could only barely suppress it.
If his power was reduced to the point where he couldn't suppress the prison...
You will suffer a more violent counterattack and be imprisoned in a darker place.
And by that time, the prisoners will really no longer be able to engage in any activities or have any fun.
-20-
Perhaps the Eternal Life Prison would pull out all the flowers he had planted, perhaps the Eternal Life Prison would stuff him with more twisted things to turn into his shackles, perhaps the prison would select a powerful warden and directly grant him the right to manage the prisoners' souls—
Maybe.
The organ had been thinking about this since it noticed the fluctuations under the prison.
He predicted almost every outcome for himself.
It's like predicting the endings of those who made wishes through thinking. In each ending, I am fragmented and there is no way to escape.
He was so good at accepting his own failure and death. His own tragic death had shaken him less than a single song.
...But, death is always painful.
An ugly death is not worth the pain.
So Organ would try his best to avoid death. He didn't know why he was thinking about and predicting these tragic endings. Obviously, he could just stop helping the Black Banshee to reverse the world and take back his power... and then he could continue to suppress the prison.
-twenty one-
After all, he helped Black Banshee travel back in time many times simply because he thought she was interesting and wanted to observe her more.
Except for the first time when she agreed to the bet, the next one thousand and six times were all considered free gifts from him, right?
He observed the beautiful black witch, he got a lot of fun, and the risk investment he gave was enough.
He came to the conclusion that he didn't understand her, a conclusion that didn't need to be verified a thousand and seven times.
...He should have stopped long ago.
-twenty two-
Then, in the pitch-black void, the organ, about to flow backwards for the thousandth time, turned back and said:
"Please convince me to continue. What other stakes can you offer?"
-twenty three-
M was not surprised.
To be honest, she had been a little suspicious for a long time because this guy had really stayed by her side to help her a thousand and seven times.
Every time the world goes backwards, M treats it as the last time and tries her best - she and the prisoners have no solid interest relationship at all, and she can't expect it to be kind enough to give her the opportunity to go backwards again, right?
...However, more than a thousand times, the prisoners still helped her silently.
And she couldn't provide any help in matters like reversing the world.
This realization sometimes makes M very irritable.
She would work even harder to save her sister - until now, she really didn't understand what drove her to continue.
-twenty four-
Although, in these more than a thousand attempts, she failed every time.
However, each of the more than a thousand opportunities to start over is extremely precious.
Therefore, when M heard the prisoner finally expressed his intention to stop helping, he even relaxed a little.
She never regretted anything and never felt like she owed anyone anything - but the prisoner was an extremely special case.
It's not a relationship of interest, nor an emotional connection, the prisoner and her...
We met by chance and seemed to be strangers, but we gave each other the most important support more than a thousand times.
-25-
Sometimes M himself feels like a hopeless madman.
But the prisoner would always only ask "Do you want to give up completely?" The annoying guy who used to belittle her intelligence never despised her stupidity of struggling again and again here.
"Do you want to give up completely?"
——Every time I hear this question, M feels that he also seems to hope that I will continue to persevere.
-26-
It has nothing to do with my sister, the prosperity or destruction of that city, and it has nothing to do with the great cause of caring for the people of the world.
The prisoners only followed her, only watched her, and only supported her decisions.
...He was the strangest guy she had ever met. He could ignore everything around an existence and focus solely on the existence itself.
M knew that its gaze wasn't driven by her beauty, which resembled her sister's, or by her immense power to crush flesh and blood. Its gaze was truly...
Too straightforward, too simple.
I feel like I'm the type of person who doesn't yearn for a true relationship when listening to love songs, but simply yearns for the "love in the song."
...M doesn't hate prisoners.
-27-
In the one thousand and seven times that the world went back in time, she was willing to take out her wallet and buy it some cakes every time.
-28-
And every time the world ended a total of one thousand and seven times, she actually felt comforted when she heard the question "Do you want to give up completely?"
——Because this question reserves her the right to retreat at any time, and it also carries a subtle affirmation of "You won't give up this time either?"
It was like trudging through a swamp, and just as she was gritting her teeth to control herself from falling, someone came to the shore and reached out his hand to her.
At the same time, the man said with certainty, "You can get out of this by yourself, right?"
-29-
M doesn't need help.
But who doesn’t like to have someone following closely behind them while retaining the trust that “you can do it” and the possibility of “getting help”, right?
-30-
When the prisoner finally asked a question other than that, indicating that he wanted to end this one-sided gaze...
M felt a little lost, but also a little relieved.
She tried her best to avoid having any more affection or curiosity towards it: she had to save her sister wholeheartedly and she couldn't help but spy on others.
…But wait, do prisoners really intend to “end help”?
He seemed to be asking if she had anything to add to the bet… “Please convince me to continue”?
-31-
M hesitated for only a second.
Reason told her that it would be more dangerous to continue to entangle with this stranger who had no relatives or friends with her - but she didn't care and didn't think about it.
"Anything."
M folded his arms, a defensive posture.
"Anything is fine. What do you want? As long as I can give it, it's fine."
——But she gave the most generous and sincere response.
-32-
...Huh, me?
The prisoner was a little confused.
"You are my wisher, and you ask me such a question..."
"You asked me what I'd bet on. I don't understand the nature of your bet, but... you're definitely going to win, right? Since you're going to win, then the stakes should be 'what you want.' Otherwise, even if you win, what will you get?"
“…”
-33-
On the other side of the light ball, someone seemed to murmur softly.
M didn't hear clearly.
"What?"
"……nothing."
It was just the first time I heard someone ask me "what do you want?". Originally, I just wanted to decide on a bet, but by saying this, it felt like I was helping him realize his wish.
...If that was his wish... and it was granted by that incredibly stubborn and foolish Black Banshee... maybe she could make it happen...
-34-
The prison organ looked toward a certain shelf.
An invisible shelf, covered in thick dust, with only two things on it.
One is called [Freedom] and the other is called [Love Song].
These were two things he had completely given up.
-35-
If the Black Banshee could make it happen... No, forget it. The Black Banshee's heart and eyes are full of that human being, and she is trapped in that promise and struggling repeatedly.
No matter how you look at it, he doesn't seem to have the time to pay attention to his wishes, let alone pay attention to such unrealistic delusions.
Moreover, if the flow continues to reverse...his ending will also be...
"What? Are you hesitating? So what do you want?"
-36-
...But since, she asked him again.
The organ whispered, "If it's convenient, please help me... compose... No, I don't need any help, just you..."
"What? Just tell me, be direct, don't waste time."
"...Can you give love a try?"
M: “…”
M: "Maybe my reception is bad. Say it again."
-37-
The organ coughed slightly.
"I want to write a love song. If possible, please try [love], understand it, and then tell me what you think."
"...So, you're asking me to bet on the 'experience of love'?"
M resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Is this the superficial thing you want most? Didn't I already say I don't understand the complicated messes of humans?"
"No, no, I'm not asking you to experience true love in the human world... well, it's just..."
-38-
The organist coughed again. That thought had been lingering in his mind for a long time.
"You find a random guy, pretend to be incredibly obsessed with him, and try to immerse yourself in your one-sided 'admiration'. Then, through that guy's response, you can create the feeling of 'being in love'. Simply put, you only need the 'feeling of being in love', not the specific person you're 'in love' with. It doesn't matter who that guy is or what he's like. To put it bluntly, it's just a convenient vehicle for emotional empathy..."
M: "Stop it."
M: "What kind of novel love scumbag are you."
-39-
To put it bluntly, isn't it just finding a guy to pretend to be a bootlicker, leaving when he gets enough of the "feeling of love", and not caring about the other person at all?
-40-
"No, you misunderstood... Actually, this plan... ahem, it's just an idea... It can be supplemented with some additional conditions."
The prisoner expounding on his plan sounds both naive and malicious: "Wouldn't it be better to find someone who doesn't care about you personally, who isn't too clingy or frequent, and who is certainly not likely to interfere with any aspect of your life? You just need to pretend to be immersed in a mindless love relationship in front of your partner, and when she leaves, you dump her too! Or, if you don't feel a strong sense of love at all, just dump her and find someone new and more convenient... If neither of you cares, then there's no cheating..."
M: “…”
What a curious and reasonable natural scum.
-41-
"You are absolutely not allowed to have a romantic relationship in person in the future."
You'll definitely get murdered if you break up with someone.
Just imagine, someone who is pampered and coaxed, and who has a one-sided crush on him/her without reservation or impurities, suddenly hears his/her partner say one day, "I just use you as an emotional carrier. Let's break up now because I want to try a new carrier and experience something new."
hiss.
M couldn't help but emphasize again: "You absolutely must not fall in love."
"Myself? Of course not. I just want you to pursue this kind of love. I just want the feeling."
“…”
"How's it going? Just find a random guy and give it a try. Pretty good deal, right?"
“…”
-42-
M sighed deeply.
“I just…”
I'm not as scum as you.
But before she could finish her refusal, the prisoner suddenly let out an "ah".
"What a coincidence."
It sounded cheerful. "Just now, the source of this world I'm storing lit up. Perhaps I could figure out a way to modify your sister's death from the source itself? Would you like to raise the stakes?"
M: “…”
M took a deep breath.
-43-
I don't know if this guy did it on purpose, but it's just "finding a guy who doesn't care to experience the feeling of love."
…Forget it, she can even kill people, what’s there to be afraid of a scumbag!
"Yes. Besides the 'soul' and 'flesh and blood' I promised you at the beginning, I'll also bet on my... 'love'. And, I promise, no matter what that so-called love experience turns out to be, I will definitely help you write the love song you want."
"You're really very straightforward."
The prisoner seemed in a very good mood. "And I know you'll definitely keep your promise. So, since you've tacitly agreed that I'm going to win this bet..."
-44-
"The content of the bet is whether I can completely find a way to rescue your sister within the next two backflows. I bet on myself to win."
“…”
M had no expression on his face.
"Although I hope you win... I've tried a thousand and seven times... I bet on you losing, and that's the truth."
"You can have confidence in me."
"Haha. Who knows? You're always so ambiguous. Are you trying to make me believe you're bound to lose?"
-45-
No, I will win, that's the truth.
...If you have to say, he just concealed it a little before.
[Just now, the source of this world I stored lit up.]
-46-
It wasn't an accident or a lucky coincidence.
——It was just that the organ decided to completely give up retaining its power and lead itself towards the dozens of tragic endings that were visible to the naked eye.
Why would the outlet ask Black Banshee to raise the stakes?
Because he didn't want to stop.
...It's rare, he doesn't want to give up.
-47-
What's more, Black Banshee was different from the things he was good at giving up before.
The Black Banshee is not [Freedom] or [Love Song] at all, and he does not desire to possess it at all. [Owning a Banshee] itself is a joke.
As long as she achieves her wish... As long as she can still roam freely outside the prison... As long as she...
What he insisted on could not be lightly placed on a dusty shelf.
-48-
If he insists on supporting the Black Banshee, the moment her wish comes true, he will definitely finally possess a treasure that he has not given up, right?
Although, we are far away and we will never see each other again.
But it was enough. More than enough.
Besides, the Black Banshee even asked about his wish...
Well, to be honest, Organ didn't think she could finish it.
No matter how hard she tried to pretend to like someone, a clumsy person like Black Banshee would be easily seen through.
but……
-49-
Maybe.
She was his only surviving wish-granter, the craziest, stupidest, and most powerful person he had ever met, and a miracle who had survived a thousand reincarnations without being crushed.
If he helps Black Banshee to create a miracle, Black Banshee will definitely try her best to return a miracle to him.
...This strange guy who acts without thinking always does things that he doesn't expect.
-50-
Therefore, the only person the organ cannot predict is the Black Banshee herself.
He really wanted her to have a chaotic future that he couldn't touch—nothing could be beyond his predictions. If it were really possible to transcend predictions and common sense—
Could he also start to have even more delusional thoughts about wanting to [leave prison]?
-51-
...I don't know about the organ.
He didn't need to speculate anymore.
He just needs to give everything he can to truly fulfill her wish.
——It was very simple. He used half of his power to activate the weak blue light spot, and used the other half to give it the possibility of rebirth into a new world.
-52-
There is no escape from the life and death determined by the world.
However, two worlds born from the same source, like twins embracing each other—
If that human being is taken to a second free world, allowed to stay there for a short time, and then sent back to the original world where she has already missed the time of death... the possibility of her surviving intact is very high.
Organ had figured out this method a few times before, but at that time he had too little strength left.
-53-
Of all the remaining power, half will be used to completely activate the weak source, and the other half will be used to guide the source to build a new world.
After the complete division, he could only endure two more backflows at most.
After the two backflows, the organ will only face the tragic end it predicted.
He lost the flowers he had planted, the ability to receive people who came to make wishes, his limited freedom, the chance to play with his brother, and welcomed a manager who controlled all his freedom. He was then pushed deeper and deeper into the ground by the prison itself. Maybe he would even lose the only piano he had.
There is no room for maneuver.
-54-
【Would you give everything to help a stranger?】
No financial relationship.
There is no emotional connection.
...No, it's not help.
If it's a gamble to fulfill a wish, then it's fine.
-55-
My wisher would give his soul, his life, and his hope to turn back the world.
So, if I wish something even more absurd than "rewinding the world" to someone... a prisoner who has no choice but to give up everything... and wants to compose a "love song"...
If it can really be achieved.
It's only fair to give up all my freedom, strength and hope.
-56-
[But you don't believe she can fall in love or write love songs.]
[Even if she found a false love as promised and gained feelings, how could you possibly gain feelings at that time? ]
[At that time, you were just a fragment at the bottom of the prison, barely surviving.]
【Besides, the Black Banshee doesn't know who you are, where you are, what you look like, or where you are actually imprisoned.】
-57-
【It is impossible to even send you a letter.】
-58-
……yes.
Whether predicted or measured, this is destined to be an unfulfilled wish.
It doesn’t matter, after all, he is not a wish-granter.
He just needs to win the bet...
Win the gamble and pay the price.
-59-
Finally, after being completely crushed by prison, he can still bear it twice.
All in all, he had to bear the cost of reversing the world a thousand and nine times for this crazy wisher.
I don't know how it will break into pieces in the end.
…Anyway, from the moment I opened my eyes, I was a substitute for the Banshee.
Besides, the Black Banshee was truly too beautiful. So beautiful that it was worth the price a thousand and nine times.
-60-
The maple-red ball of light radiated light once again, causing the world to rekindle its heartbeat.
The heartbeat intensified.
A second heartbeat also faintly appeared.
The first world begins to flow backwards... The second world begins to be born...
The maple-red ball of light became fainter and fainter.
It fades to the end, leaving almost only a light pink.
"Alright. Let's try to take that human there when the time is right... As the original twins of that world, fulfilling the wishes of other beings in other worlds... W and M are perfect."
M did not respond.
Backflow and birth were intertwined, the fate of the two worlds were linked in a circle - she watched this scene in the void and heard the third heartbeat.
...This scene is so beautiful.
What the prisoners created is truly beautiful.
No matter how many excuses she made, she couldn't deny that the third one was probably the sound of her own heartbeat.
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