Preface: This is an extremely important plot in the main text. It is recommended to read it with Chapter 98 and the extra chapter the first time!
-1-
My first sexual experience was on Christmas.
...This should be the first time. Although I often delete my memories regularly, M still has some impression of whether I have really experienced this.
If you have experienced it before, you won’t feel so unfamiliar and confused, having the urge to do something but not knowing how to start.
- Oh, to add, the guy she casually dragged into the hotel for an experience was drunk and unconscious, and could not be relied upon at all.
-2-
The guy was pinned to the bed and had his shirt ripped off while mumbling something like "It's been a long time, do you want to play another bet?" His dizzy, silly grin was accompanied by the aroma of eggnog. The skin under his shirt was pale, slightly cold, and clean, and felt like snow to the touch... Who cared what he was mumbling about?
M ignored everything the other person said, just like every guy who doesn't listen in bed.
…Damn it, why do I have to listen to my partner’s words even after we’ve already rolled into bed?
Is this some kind of customary bed etiquette?
After I'd tucked that cute kid with the pretty maple-red eyes into bed, there were so many things I could touch, see, chew, and grab, so many things, so rich, so exciting, why would I bother to cool my brain and heart and carve out some time to pay attention to what this guy was saying?
-3-
Anyway, M refused to pay attention to what he said.
She hates thinking even during work hours, so why should she think hard during her nighttime hours?
-4-
Besides, he was just drunk enough at that time.
The kid who fell down after one glass of alcohol had only taken two sips of vodka. The amount of alcohol he ingested was not enough to make him lose his physiological response and become drowsy, nor would it make him covered from head to toe in the smell of alcohol that would spoil his mood. However, it was just enough to make him lose his clear judgment and thinking ability.
It was enough for him to forget the night afterwards, enough for him to let his guard down, open the social barrier with strangers, and give her what she wanted.
M had no doubt that this innocent boy who was ignorant of the ways of the world would be the type to refuse a one-night stand - if he was sober, he would definitely not have sex with a strange woman.
...So, that was just the right amount of drunkenness.
-5-
The right time, the right amount of intoxication, an extremely suitable and clean object, and those maple-red eyes that somehow made her heart beat fast.
M didn't think about it any further. Everything was just right, so she just rode on it.
-6-
Living among a bunch of ghosts with chaotic private lives, it’s nothing to have a one-night stand with someone you unexpectedly like.
She had once pretended to be a courtesan who attracted the attention of countless men. Even if she had never done this before, she had some experience with it and probably wouldn't get the steps wrong.
So M started his first time directly.
One hand held down the drunk who seemed to be resisting after his shirt was torn, the other hand held the point.
…However, in the end, she ended up feeling dazed.
-7-
Painless.
No feeling.
Super fast.
...Only a minute and a half.
-8-
Huh.
...Huh? ?
No, wait, I haven’t taken off my clothes yet, so it shouldn’t be over, right?
M raised his hand blankly and looked at his palm——
He then used the back of his clean hand to wipe the part that splashed on his face.
-9-
At that moment, the confusion in M's mind surpassed the universe.
-10-
That's it.
…That’s it???
This is what those undead souls are obsessed with, advocating for and experiencing every day, even if they’d rather not go to work?
-11-
Uh, that's not right. Even though I've never done it before, I know it roughly. It should be inserted first... not just touched with the hand...
Confused, M lowered his head again and met the guy's equally confused gaze.
The alcohol made his cheeks a little red, and the last minute and a half made him a little breathless, but his eyes were confused, dazed, and pure.
There is not a trace of desire in it, nor any shame.
...Huh.
etc.
-12-
"You wouldn't...also...uh, first time?"
The child she casually pulled onto the bed looked at her palm and then at her face.
He asked in a daze, "What are you doing? What is this?"
“…”
hiss.
-13-
I harmed a child who had absolutely no concept of sex. I took advantage of him while he was drunk.
[…Should I turn myself in? ]
——M never repented once when she killed, but she suddenly felt a strong sense of remorse during her first night.
…Are there really adult males who know nothing about sex? How come this guy doesn't even have a basic understanding of masturbation? What's going on? Has the human world evolved into a fairytale ivory tower?
-14-
But M is still a bad guy after all.
Very, very evil villain.
…Hearing such a simple rhetorical question, meeting such blank and pure beautiful eyes, she really, she really…
Unable to bear it any longer, he reached out his hand once again to defile the child.
-15-
"This kind of thing requires social etiquette, which is give and take."
M groped around again while seriously trying to trick the drunk: "It was alright before, after all, it was your first time and you weren't prepared. Next time you have to hold on a little longer before you can give me back."
"No...wait...hiss."
The drunk seemed to have sensed something was wrong, and it seemed as if his rationality had emerged from the influence of alcohol. He stretched out his hand to block her and shook his head slightly, as if trying to sober up: "Something is not right... This feels very strange... You..."
M deadpanned, "Everyone I know says it's going to be awesome."
"No...your face...is dirty...tissue..."
"It's okay. I don't mind getting splashed at times like this."
"...No, that's weird...We're good friends..."
-16-
A strong feeling of remorse was intertwined with a strong urge to bully the other party even more.
…Ah! Is this the pure and innocent child? Is this the super cute and clean child who knows nothing about the world?! They're completely different species from the male creatures I absolutely detest! And when she asks questions like that, her misty eyes are really—uh uh uh—
I want to do it even more.
Must do.
M's face was frozen by the excessive emotion in his heart: "It's okay. Good friends can do this kind of thing. And I really want to do it now. Good friends should satisfy the needs of good friends. This is the obligation of good friends."
The other person was stunned for a moment, and finally, he put down his hand that was about to push her away.
-17-
"Well then... good friends' obligations... well..."
The drunk who gave up resistance was easily pushed down by her again, and the mumbling disappeared again, not a single word reaching M's boiling mind.
She just won't listen in bed.
-18-
So, the one who was good at thinking was completely chaotic, and the one who never thought was just messing around based on instinct. Both of them had no experience and had been single for longer than the birth of the universe. They stumbled and completed their first time.
...Well, how should I put it.
This kind of thing really requires patience and skills.
-19-
But a straightforward and reckless person like M doesn't understand anything about patience and technique.
-20-
I fumbled around a few times, and when I felt ready, I rode a few more times. The durations listed were one and a half minutes, four minutes, ten and a half minutes, twenty minutes, and...
Well, she didn't know the exact duration of the last time.
Because from the moment I officially started riding, I was the one moving my waist. When I vaguely felt a little bit of pleasure, I was really tired and it felt very boring.
It's no fun for an unskilled guy to mess around.
-twenty one-
When M really didn't want to move anymore and tried to persuade (trick) the other party to switch positions with him, he realized belatedly that the other party had closed his beautiful red eyes.
...It seemed that when I really completed it for the first time, it felt too painful after sitting on it, and I couldn't help it, so I put my hand on the other person's neck and pinched it hard.
At that time, I felt something was wrong. The other person who had been docile and gave up resistance suddenly started to move. I thought about stopping her or comforting her...
As a result, M, who was in great pain and annoyed, picked up the pillow and pressed it down hard, suppressing all movements.
Feeling that the other party had completely given up resistance, she turned her back and started riding blindly. Only now did she notice...
-twenty two-
The other party is silent.
M: “…”
M silently moved the pillow away and reached out to try.
...still breathing, not dead, huh.
After confirming that the other party was alive, M quietly moved his body away, crawled under the bed, and put on his clothes silently.
-twenty three-
Suddenly, I lost interest.
…Anyway, I felt a little good. That's just how it is. I don't think I finished riding him the last time… Uh, whatever. I'm done with it, so I'll just go away.
What if that guy calls the police right after he wakes up?
…Even though he was a super evil villain, she didn’t want to go to jail for “almost strangling her one-night stand to death the first time”!
-twenty four-
So, M's first experience ended like this.
Out of some unknown, overly strong sense of repentance and guilt, she deleted this memory immediately after slipping back into the system world.
...Mr. P, who woke up the next day, was left to accept the confusion of the universe in a daze.
-25-
Facts have proven that the ability to maintain a connection across time and space, and to recognize good friends even when they are unconscious and have let down their guard, is truly based on a deep understanding of each other.
Mr. P always speculated that his blank memory was because he was knocked unconscious by M who picked up a desk lamp during the bad process - the fact was not much different.
-26-
If he knew that he was only strangled and pressed against the pillow that night, he would probably be slightly touched.
#That's great. That idiot didn't really want to kill me no matter how much pain he was in. He must have me in his heart#
-27-
……cough.
In short, the terrible and chaotic first time seemed to be forgotten.
M deleted the memory cleanly and efficiently, and the hungover P had no memory of that night at all.
But, more or less, there are still some aftereffects left.
-28-
P, who felt he needed to take responsibility, deliberately planned his second sober encounter, while M, who was unexpectedly attracted to someone (again) and had the idea of a one-night stand—
She asked out of nowhere, "Your time should be more than a minute and a half, right? I don't like short ones."
P: "..."
P: "I don't know. But I will try my best."
-29-
So M nodded and (once again) impulsively dragged the other person into the hotel.
Although he was not bewitched by those beautiful maple-red eyes this time, the clean kid who was completely sober and seemed to be seducing him deliberately was equally powerful. With a sense of déjà vu, it was not difficult to decide to have sex with him.
So, even though she didn't like his blue eyes, M still pushed him onto the bed quickly and directly.
But Mr. P, who was sober, had the common sense of "not starting right away", and he also had a very tragic shadow from his last experience -
He pondered for a moment and asked, "Are you going to be on top? Do you need me to hold your waist or hold you..."
M: “…”
M was stunned for a moment, then suddenly trembled.
-30-
Then, she relaxed her grip, fell on him with a "plop", and rolled to the side with a "gurgle".
Lie face up with arms and legs spread out.
"I won't move."
M himself didn't know how he could be so resolute: "I will not move. I will just lie here. You move. I will never move."
Mr. P: “…”
"I won't move. But if you hurt me, I'll move the lamp on the nightstand."
Mr. P: “…”
-31-
So, the second time began, still somewhat confused and lost.
Miss M adopted the dead fish on the chopping board posture, lying flat on her back waiting to be served.
...She herself didn't know why she was so disgusted with the dominant position. She obviously liked pressing and pinching the other person, and the other person didn't mind being pressed by her.
But fortunately.
This time, the guy among them who was good at thinking, patient, and willing to study technology did not lose his mind.
-32-
M didn't feel any pain this time.
She finally understood a little bit why undead like U were hanging around everywhere.
Because it was her first time, the feeling was so strong that she was a little confused——
When the other person was about to leave, she reached out and held his hand.
"...I'm just going to get a hot towel to clean up..."
M ignored the other person's words.
She just doesn't use her brain to care about what her partner expresses in bed.
So, when P, who had truly and clearly experienced the "first time" and was still very green in this aspect, blushed and suggested "Do you want to kiss?", M directly grabbed his hand, pulled him over, and patted him on the shoulder.
Confused but certain: "It's good. This time it's much longer than a minute and a half."
-33-
“…”
"You are worthy of being my good friend."
“…”
"But it's still not particularly amazing, just average, right?"
“…”
-34-
Afterwards, M, feeling refreshed, strolled back to the system world and told U, who was trying to gossip, that "this was probably my second one-night stand and it was pretty good," and then deleted his memory again.
Isn’t it enough to just sleep with each other? It’s just a one-night stand.
She wasn't attracted by the other person's appearance either, and she didn't like his blue eyes. There was no need to endure the pain of sleeping with him a second time.
Afterwards, Mr. P reflected on the universe in his mind for a long time: "..."
-35-
...What does she mean.
I've been in and out of jail all my life... I certainly don't have any experience... I've never paid attention to this aspect... Isn't it just that the guys who are free outside may have a few more experiences than me?
...Is there still any basic friendship and care, any basic compassion?
Wasn't she the one who started this weird physical relationship? Partners shouldn't be involved in this...
What does she mean?
There's even "beginner's luck" in gambling, so can't we show a little "beginner's consideration" when doing something like this?
-36-
So the third time, sensing M's appearance again, Mr. P turned around and left.
There was no seduction or conversation. He was a good friend who had suffered trauma. If she wanted to have a one-night stand, she should have found other strangers.
But suddenly, my shoulder was patted.
-37-
Smiling Miss M said: "Want to drink, kid? The lines of your back are great."
Mr. P: “…”
Mr. P: "If it's a one-night stand, you can just say so."
Ms. M: "Oh, so straightforward, I like it! Let's go, which hotel? Will you pay? And can you include dinner?"
"……OK."
-38-
The third time, the fourth time, the fifth time...
It became a convention and became unstoppable.
Oh, don't get me wrong, Mr. P doesn't think doing this kind of thing is worth indulging in.
He just gradually noticed that this good friend he had met again after a long time was now too indifferent to her own life.
-39-
She was his best friend, they used to understand each other and get along well. He had thought that her free life outside the prison was colorful, but he didn't expect that she was too casual about her living conditions.
As a friend, it is perfectly normal to buy her some clothes and shoes and treat her to meals and fun activities.
Besides, she had once emptied her wallet to buy him cakes and pastries, so the small help she provided now was nothing.
…Although the final outcome every time was that he was dragged into the hotel by this guy, and every time afterwards he would receive stomach-wrenching comments and had to repeatedly ponder the mysterious universe…
However, compared to "I want to help you as a non-human good friend with a deep connection and a mysterious identity", "I am just a human of the opposite sex who simply wants to please you for a one-night stand" is more likely to gain M's trust.
-40-
At that time, P didn’t think about having more interactions with M. If the purpose was just to “stay together and continue playing together”, there was no need to explain too much.
After all, they are good friends who have never seen each other's appearance.
-41-
...Well, if I have to say, it's the awkward position of a good friend who, after meeting her, discovered that "she might have some sexual feelings for my brother"?
P didn't think she wanted to have sex with her sickly, pale, bloody self.
My brother’s appearance is really superior. Who doesn’t like a sunny, blue and clear golden-haired puppy?
-42-
During that time, he had tried to put aside that annoying sexual attraction and get along with her purely, but it turned out that even if he laid the groundwork for a whole year and led to a more formal date, M just didn't like it.
When P saw this guy again with a strange look inviting him to a one-night stand, holding the pink tulips that he had carefully selected for the first time, which were different from the pale white ones, he remembered that a long time ago, this guy said with great resistance that he hated the so-called "love" in the human world.
...An idiot is indeed an idiot.
No amount of time will change a stubborn fool.
-43-
It's impossible to say that I'm not disappointed. After all, I'm the girl who was just about to start a serious relationship and just about to break the "more than friends, but not lovers" rule.
But after finally confirming that M is still "completely indifferent to love", P also relaxed a little.
When he was dragged into the hotel again and pressed against the door and scratched, he thought...
M, who has always been impatient to pay attention to what her partner says, said: "Stop dawdling, hurry up."
...Mr. P has made up his mind that he doesn't care anymore.
-44-
Tsk.
I would definitely not feel any guilt about using this kind of guy as my "love carrier".
-45-
Yes, one of his ultimate dreams is to [find a random guy as a carrier to write love songs].
...Of course he didn't give up on this dream. He finally had this brief moment of freedom, so of course he had to find a way to realize it - and besides, this idiot in front of him just happened to still owe him a bet?
-46-
He had been thinking about it for a long time.
Someone who doesn't care about you personally, isn't too clingy, doesn't show up too often, and is unlikely to interfere with any aspect of your life.
——Who else is more suitable to be his emotional carrier than this guy in front of him, who is only interested in pulling his shirt buttons and making love with him, and will definitely make extremely bad comments after making love and then say goodbye easily?
-47-
Mr. P thought about the countless one-night stands in the past that had left huge psychological shadows on him.
Mr. P thought about how he wanted to help as a friend but she erased his memory time and time again.
Mr. P thought...
Well, he had a completely clear conscience.
-48-
M, who was already very impatient, raised her head, but met the child's face and was stunned.
Different from the impression of just hooking up in the bar, the other party suddenly... blushed, and his eyes looked at her with moisture, shy, focused, and sticky.
"I don't do one-night stands. I only do it with girlfriends I'm getting married to..."
-49-
What, you want to talk about feelings?
M said "tsk" impatiently in his heart, feeling a bit annoyed by this clingy and troublesome thing.
But, well, it looks so good under the ripped shirt...
Well, bye after sleeping anyway.
-50-
"Okay, let's date. Your girlfriend wants to have sex right now."
-51-
——After that, Miss M got a clingy, innocent and troublesome young dog.
She never deleted the memory again because she still cared about the relationship.
…and, well, somehow, this guy was really her type.
-52-
Oh, of course that’s not his character. Every time this guy expresses his feelings affectionately or speaks hesitantly, M wants to roll his eyes.
She just felt that this guy was exactly what she liked in bed, as if she had known him hundreds of times before. Every experience she had was very comfortable, and he basically knew what to do next just by raising his hand.
...Come to think of it, she has indeed had countless one-night stands. Sometimes when she gets tired of choosing new partners, it would be nice to find a regular sex partner to settle down with.
Just hang out and say goodbye when you get tired of sleeping.
-53-
So, Miss M became a married person in a daze.
-54-
...There's no goodbye, it's just that the other party's skills are getting better and better.
But as his skills improved, he became more and more clingy and troublesome... Ah... She really hated this idiotic love-brained guy...
"Meow, I like..."
"Shut up. Can't you just shut up when we're in bed? How many times have I told you I don't care what you say in bed?"
"But even when you're not in bed..."
"If you keep pushing me, I'll divorce you."
“…”
-55-
The other party shut his mouth with a look of grievance and focused on it again.
M squinted his eyes with great satisfaction.
…The urge to kill and the urge to sex do seem to be somewhat related. She had spent an unknown amount of time alone and had never thought that she would be so active in such matters before.
Being hugged, being caressed, and being kissed with warm and intimate kisses...
Thinking of this, M couldn't help but put his arms around his neck again.
"Here... one more kiss..."
-56-
Tsk, why does she ask for more and more?
Have you ever asked for so much extra caressing in bed before?
I really want to finish it soon... I've only written half of yesterday's piece, and I still have other interludes I want to write...
-57-
"Hey. Why are you daydreaming at a time like this?"
"...I just suddenly felt that you didn't seem to like me very much..."
"Shut up, I'm so annoying... Keep kissing me, or I'll divorce you!"
-58-
I know, don’t push me, we will definitely get divorced.
I'll divorce you as soon as I finish writing the song. Really, why is she so anxious...
Mr. P left a kiss with moderate force where she wanted, and he felt a little unhappy:
It seems like she has lost money on just one song. Can one song be enough to cover the cost of her spending on prostitution so many times?
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
