-1-
Mr. P understood a profound truth a long time ago.
That is, don't try to reason with Miss M.
-2-
...reasoning with Miss M, including but not limited to:
"Don't bite the lollipop straight off, can you taste it?"
"Even if you bite it off, don't chew it too hard. Won't your tooth hurt?"
"Okay, you must chew it. Not only do you want to 'crunch' the candy, but you also want to tilt your head and 'crunch' it towards me. But please keep... don't get any closer..."
"It's midnight. This is my bed. A healthy relationship between superiors and subordinates needs to be maintained. Subordinates shouldn't be chewing candy face to face with their superiors at this time."
——And so on.
It is not a profound truth, nor is it the "common sense of life" that some elders use to teach their juniors. It is simply a simple, non-blaming, and emotionless truth.
But if I explain it clearly to Ms. M, I will encounter a series of accidents.
-3-
The consequences of the accident include but are not limited to falling to death, drowning, being crushed, suffocating, etc.
The accident experience was very good, and after being resurrected, Mr. P had to give a five-star rating under the smiling face of his boss.
-4-
To sum up, Mr. P does not want to reason with his boss.
He hopes to have a relationship with her.
"Xiao P, Xiao P! Come on, do you remember that time a few days ago when you went to a strange world to pick me up? You took me away as soon as you showed up, and because of the rules of time and space, you didn't even stay there?"
In front of the breakfast on the table, Miss M raised her head with a knife in hand, her eyebrows curved, revealing an extremely lovely innocence.
"I saw the lickspittle Xiao P that day!"
...Of course, it's not this kind of emotional talk.
-5-
It's not like he's saying, "I caught a Pikachu."
-6-
"Ms. M, I don't understand what you mean by [Suck-Up Pokémon]. You sound so excited about it. Is it a rare Pokémon that can be caught?"
"I'm more of anime than games... Stop changing the subject, Xiao P. Let's talk about that [licker Xiao P] I saw a few days ago, shall we?"
"I don't understand what you mean. It's breakfast time, and I don't want to discuss anything inexplicable with you. You have to leave for work in half an hour, so you should focus on breakfast."
"But I don't want to focus on breakfast. I want to tease Little P."
"Okay, I'm being teased."
“…”
"Here's your little blue cup and the orange juice you ordered. Please focus on your eggs, orange juice, and the new wave of work that's coming up soon, and stop teasing your subordinates."
“…”
-7-
Mr. P walked out of the kitchen. He just turned around and went to the refrigerator to look for the carrot-orange juice that his boss had just ordered and the small blue cup that his boss had ordered to use today.
——Yes, Miss M has many small breakfast cups, each with different colors, patterns and shapes. She has more than just cups. Her selection criteria for her tableware are unpredictable and very subtle.
-8-
For example, Miss M has a pink bowl for rice, but soup must be served in a cream-colored bowl;
She had a small blue cup, but one day she asked for soy milk in a pink cup for breakfast;
When it comes to snacks, she won't just tear open the packaging and eat them. On rainy days, she will insist on using a plate with a striped puppy printed on it to serve Prince brand cookies.
...Most people would be afraid of her unconventional tableware usage habits, just like they would be afraid that she might draw her sickle at any time. Who knows what this unconventional madman might do next?
This time he changed the tableware, next time he might change his head.
Even a robot would flash a bright "buzz" warning light if it saw Miss M poking scrambled eggs with spinach with a spoon in a restaurant.
It's not their fault. After all, Miss M had been poking the eggs with a spoon while holding her cheek. Then she would suddenly fly into the air and dig out their batteries with a spoon.
...There's nothing more terrifying than an unpredictable psychopath, whether she's changing cutlery or lunch bags.
-9-
Of course, as Miss M's direct subordinate, Mr. P is not afraid.
Mr. P was more inclined to interpret her messy behavior of changing the tableware as being cute.
...I'm just pretending to be cute and annoying him, that's all.
-10-
Before they lived together, her boss, who slept in her own staff dormitory and couldn't even pay the water and electricity bills, could use a pair of disposable chopsticks that she snatched from his overtime takeout for a month, and she was reluctant to throw them away.
...After moving into his dormitory, being able to use his credit card openly, and piling all kinds of strange daily necessities in his house, I became more picky.
Something like "Boiled water won't taste good without colorful cups, so Xiao P bought me a colorful cup with flower petals."
She even had the bizarre requirement that "this cup of water must be warm boiled water, and warm boiled water must be served in a small transparent glass cup"... This is as outrageous as "This style of manicure is so ugly, Xiao P is free to express himself, the boss wants to carve 99 small plum blossoms on the little fingernail."
Just pretending to be cute.
Just to torment him on purpose.
...Mr. P really doesn't understand. Now he even has to memorize one, two, three, four, five different styles of small cups to pour a glass of boiled water for his boss.
-11-
Sometimes he wanted to write a memo called "The Boss's Tableware Usage Guide" and take it out to check whenever he was serving his boss.
But if you think about it carefully, anything written down on paper can be shared with others.
Mr. P doesn't want to share any of his boss's habits with anyone.
So he gave up writing memos and locked them all in the safe in his mind.
-12-
It was the same today. After waking up in a bad mood, taking a nap, and fiddling around in front of the wardrobe, my boss asked me to drink carrot and orange juice, and it had to be in a small blue cup.
Miss M picked up the small blue cup and gulped down a mouthful of orange juice.
"Because my mood is blue, and alas, Little P refuses to roll around with me."
"...Ms. M, after I had enough sleep and regained consciousness, I already satisfied your needs once in front of the wardrobe."
Listen to his nonsense.
-13-
Miss M snorted, "You just knelt down and lifted my skirt, you didn't roll around. ...You didn't even give your boss permission to rip your pajamas off! You naughty little P! You should be prepared to have your pajamas ripped off if you're wearing them like that!"
You didn't rip my pajamas, but you broke my earrings.
-14-
Mr. P didn't want to discuss this "rolling around" topic with her anymore.
As he had thought before while busying himself with the frying pan, Miss M didn't want to discuss "reason" at all. She was just being unreasonable with him as usual.
……but.
Starting from last night, a change is needed.
"Okay. No need to change the subject."
Mr. P put down his knife and fork and looked at her seriously.
Miss M pretended to be innocent again, and tried to make him angry for the Nth time since she opened her eyes today.
"What's the matter? Xiao P, do you want to have a formal chat with me about that [Suck-up Xiao P]? That's right, when you called me, you didn't pay any attention to what was happening in that world at all, and you urged me to come back..."
"Yes. I'd like to have a formal chat. Since you brought it up."
Miss M's sarcastic sarcasm suddenly stopped.
-15-
"You've been deliberately avoiding me these past few days. Ever since you came back from that world, you've been deliberately avoiding me."
“…”
"Yesterday was my anniversary, but you left me alone and partyed all night until you were completely drunk."
“…”
"The promised gift didn't arrive on time for me, Miss M. Neither did you."
“…”
"Ah. Could it be that while you were alone in that world, a certain image from the past triggered a slight sense of guilt?"
“…”
Mr. P's remarks were not questions, nor were they aggressive.
Just a calm statement, accompanied by the sound of knife and fork sliding across the plate.
Just like the times in the past when he had expressed his troubles to her, calmly stating the miserable facts like "I worked overtime all night"...
Calm, gentle, and with a touch of warmth in the tone.
-16-
No offensive power at all.
But Miss M was left speechless by these powerless statements.
She opened her mouth.
Close your mouth again.
— suddenly raised the small blue cup and took a big gulp of carrot-orange juice, then said, "I have to leave for work in thirty minutes. Don't dawdle, Xiao P, and no small talk."
-17-
"Okay, Miss M."
-18-
……etc.
Why couldn't she speak at the dinner table!
Why did she just lower her head and drink carrot orange juice like a fool!
——Even after Ms. M dressed neatly and sat in the passenger seat of her subordinate's car, she still couldn't recover.
What words had just come out of her mouth—what words had come out of her mouth—that frightened her enough to make her finish her breakfast like a fool without saying a word—when she clearly—
-19-
"You forgot your seatbelt again."
The subordinate leaned over and helped her buckle her seat belt.
The angle was just right, and the person was exactly the same as the one I saw last night when I was drunk.
…It was obvious that she had decided, from the moment she opened her eyes today, to provoke, pull, and annoy Xiao P, inviting him to bed or die.
There are two things that Ms. M likes to invite her subordinates to do the most.
Sex allows her to get rid of her worries, and death brings her joy.
These were two things she was so familiar with that she was absolutely certain the results would be interesting.
This is M's comfort zone, M's daily life.
…From the moment she opened her eyes this morning, she hoped to fully adjust and return to her previous daily routine…
In this way, I can shake off the drunken memories of last night.
-20-
Yes, Miss M certainly did not forget the memory of being drunk.
She is an adult ghost, and adult ghosts will not easily put aside everything that happened after being drunk and explain it away by saying, "My mind is confused, I just drank too much."
Adult ghosts will quickly recall everything after sobering up, and while a series of screams sound in their hearts, they will swallow back the explanation of "my mind is confused, I just drank too much" and pretend that nothing happened.
...So this morning, Miss M kept pretending that nothing had happened. She continued to torment Little P, brought up dirty topics, and acted as if nothing mattered.
But her subordinates didn't follow her lead—not even once.
-twenty one-
…Apparently, she was drunk last night, but her mind was not clear.
My mind was not clear, it was too dark outside the window, and I smelled too strongly of apple brandy.
Because of these,...
Only then will you lose the right to speak and hear the sound of your heartbeat when you see your subordinates fastening their seat belts.
-twenty two-
She is sober now.
There is sunshine outside the window.
There was no smell on his body. If I had to say something, it was a little bit of the laundry detergent he used to wash the quilt cover, and there was a little bit of carrot and orange juice left in his mouth.
But……
-twenty three-
"Bang."
"Bang, bang."
—It rang, a huge noise echoed in my ears, and repeatedly a thousand alarm clocks were violently smashed to the floor, leaving behind terrifying remains like meteorite craters.
-twenty four-
The deafening sound of beating and smashing - the unprecedented sound of some internal organ in the chest cavity - almost pierced her eardrums.
Miss M couldn't help but clench her fists tightly, and then -
A beautiful, lullaby-like guitar sound rang out.
...Mr. P had already fastened her seat belt, sat back in the driver's seat, and clicked the play button on the car music.
-25-
Miss M slowly unclenched her fists.
Mr. P was steering the wheel without looking away.
“…The music is beautiful, Little P.”
"Thanks."
…After successfully squeezing out a sentence and regaining the right to speak, she quietly breathed a sigh of relief.
-26-
The soles of my feet in my shoes and the palms of my hands under my sleeves were slightly warm.
It was as if someone had just forced something dangerous in front of her and then easily hid it away.
It's like surviving a disaster.
…But how could she, M, have something that she considered dangerous?
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