-1-
Of course, no matter how much Mr. P thought about life while looking at the hotel bill, he could not directly conclude that the reason Ms. M turned away was because she was sexually dissatisfied.
He is very good at observing M. The more he knows about M, the clearer it should be. Don't make a hasty conclusion about her.
And he had too few opportunities to observe.
After all, he didn't live or work with her, and he only met this former cellmate once every two weeks. The time he spent talking to her face was not as much as the time he spent thinking about the area under her clothes.
...This was definitely not his intention. He would rather have a pure conversation with her face than with the area under her clothes——
But Miss M would not allow it. In bed, she was the type who would irritably yell, "Stop talking," and then pull his hair to push him back down.
Well, she doesn't like to take the initiative.
But the prerequisite is that she is satisfied with the service.
Otherwise she would have gladly taken the metal lamp from the hotel bedside table.
-2-
...This is also why, to this day, Mr. P still can't remember how and where his first time happened, or how he lost his mind and became involved in a physical relationship with this unreliable former cellmate...
Mr. P had good reason to believe that it was a hotel with good sound insulation, as there was an incredibly heavy metal table lamp on the bedside table in the hotel room.
After all, that was his real first time, without any theoretical preparation or prior rehearsal.
...lacking theory and experience, and somehow foolishly deciding to develop a physical relationship with his cellmate... He absolutely did not think he could perform well in that situation.
And Miss M is definitely the type who would pick up a desk lamp and pry open his skull the first time she gets hurt.
She won't endure it. What she is worst at is endurance, whether it is pain or pleasure.
-3-
...That day, after a vague memory, the next morning, Mr. P woke up in dishevel on the steps of his house and met the eyes of the postman who came to deliver milk.
postman:"……"
he:"……"
Postman: "Do you need me to call the police for you?"
He: “…No, probably.”
-4-
After reluctantly sending away the postman who was looking at him as if he were a "rape victim," Mr. P rubbed his throbbing temples and walked into the apartment. He then took off his clothes, went into the bathroom, and spent a full half hour looking in the mirror to confirm what he had experienced.
...He had never experienced this before, and it was really difficult to tell from the information on the Internet, books, and help posts on forums that the red and white stripes on his body were not from a fight with a Komodo dragon, but from the nightlife of adults.
When he confirmed what he had experienced with certainty, his first thought was:
How should I die?
-5-
Mr. P hates being dirty.
He can respect everyone's different lifestyles, but if the word "one-night stand" has anything to do with himself, it would be better for him to watch himself become a rotting corpse.
-6-
But when he turned his neck and began to look carefully for a convenient place to insert the razor blade, he saw a small piece of paper stuck to the back of his neck.
He had seen the writing before, it had been on the free pudding cups he had been given while in prison countless times.
Hi. I'm M. Last night was okay. Thank you. Bye~
Mr. P: “…”
-7-
So, after finding out who had murdered him, Mr. P's thoughts became:
How did I survive?
-8-
That's crazy, I'm a virgin.
A virgin will be comforted if he fails to satisfy the girl, but if he hurts that lunatic... he will die.
...So how did he survive last night? What miracle had he managed to avoid death at her hands after he lost consciousness?
-9-
Mr. P turned on the shower, and the suicidal impulse disappeared. The shock of surviving M's hands and the hot water washed over his throbbing nerves.
——He still couldn't figure out what happened on his first night, why he met a madman and agreed to have sex with him——
But this did not prevent Mr. P from chasing Miss M and asking her to take responsibility. Just based on the hesitant, pity-mixed-contempt look that the postman gave him that day, the responsibility she had to bear was so heavy that it would not be an exaggeration to marry him and support him for most of his life.
-10-
He even moved out of his old apartment because of this incident, and left the community he had carefully cultivated for two and a half years. Because the postman was responsible for delivering milk to the entire community, after breakfast, everyone in the area knew who had slept with him the night before, and he was now a tattered and shabby man lying on the steps.
Oh, those people didn't point fingers at him. The neighborhood relationships that Mr. P had carefully cultivated for two and a half years were not in vain. Everyone showed full sympathy and concern for him.
That day they practically lined up to bring him baked cookies and onion bean soup, along with long gray blankets.
"So that your clothes won't be torn to shreds and you won't have anything to wear, sweetheart" - from Mrs. Hodson next door who has eight cats.
...The neighbors were so enthusiastic that Mr. P had a hard time.
The reason he had to move out of his old apartment was that his originally balanced and pure neighborhood relationship suddenly became impure.
After that day, apart from the worried old lady hugging the blanket, three different neighbors came to him late at night and issued him different invitations - the reason was "If there is one, there will be two, and if there is two, there will be three. I thought you were innocent so I didn't make a move. Now come together, let's explore the new world" -
Mr. P doesn't want to explore the new world.
He has a wide range of interests, but his interests have nothing to do with exploring new worlds in this area.
-11-
Moreover, among the three neighbors who invited him to explore the new world one after another, two were not girls.
Mr. P also felt that the only neighbor who wore a skirt and makeup was probably not a girl.
-12-
Mr. P simply has no attraction to the opposite sex.
He's used to it.
-13-
Although he hadn't done any systematic research, he guessed that attracting the opposite sex must involve being "strong" in some way—otherwise, M wouldn't have abandoned him because she was dissatisfied with his repeated arm wrestling failures and felt that they lacked challenge...
Well, yes, rather than being sexually dissatisfied, it was more likely that she started watching adult channels for other reasons. Perhaps she felt that arm wrestling was too easy to win, so she got bored and decided to watch movies to kill time...
This is more in line with M's style.
Mr. P knew Miss M, so he accepted and got used to his own weakness very calmly and numbly. He didn't have a glass heart, but only had self-esteem that was broken and distorted by M and became indescribable.
Oh, but he has never been troubled or felt inferior about this. After all, he doesn't understand love, and it's fine to simply feel unattractive. At least he doesn't have to consider more complicated issues.
And unlike Miss M, Mr. P is not averse to the opposite sex. When he was a child, he even knew many little girls who all liked him, were close to him, and regarded him as their "best friend."
The kind of "best friend" who, if bullied by the boy she loves, will come back to him, cry and complain to him about all the bad things that happened to him, and then go back to the boy she loves after being comforted by him.
-14-
...Miss M mocked him many times in prison, saying that he was "being treated as a spare tire."
Mr. P disagrees. He doesn't understand "love" and has no feelings for those little girls other than friendship. How can he be a "spare tire"?
"I wouldn't consider them the opposite sex. Gender isn't necessary between friends."
"Okay, you're a psychopath. You deserve to be unpopular with the opposite sex."
“…”
-15-
A long, long time later, after many things happened, he left the prison, became a mortal, and settled completely in this world.
He did pass many adult strangers carrying his guitar, most of whom would put their arms around him without even seeing his face;
He also knew many bars with dim lights and ambiguous music, and he even collected a large stack of VIP room cards from different hotels.
But he was never a singer who could impress passers-by with his voice, nor was he a playboy who mingled in the love field.
He was just an ordinary guy who couldn't sing to a crowd or play guitar very well.
-16-
Mr. P has experienced a lot, but also almost nothing, and is still a blank slate.
He had only ever met a girl who looked at him from the perspective of the opposite sex - although the beginning of their relationship was a mistake caused by confusion -
But Mr. P encountered such a situation.
When this girl is being stared at by others, she will actually say out loud, "Do you want your eyes gouged out?" and she can actually do it.
Moreover, Mr. P never looked at Miss M's figure. He didn't need to because he had too many opportunities to measure it directly.
-17-
He used to be a somewhat clumsy person in some aspects. His only kitchen skill was spreading on toast. He couldn't spit out the seeds when eating watermelon, so he had to chew it up and swallow it.
But thanks to M, he can now even spit out strawberry seeds intact.
-18-
Theoretical learning and practical activities.
This is undoubtedly the ladder of biological progress.
-19-
...His kitchen skills still haven't improved. It's because M never stays over at his house and eats the breakfast he makes.
-20-
His time and energy are limited, so he never bothers to develop unnecessary skills.
Besides, he really has no interest in cooking. If he has no interest, there is no need to do it.
-twenty one-
Besides skills he has no interest in, Mr. P will not explain things he considers a waste of time.
For example, perhaps because of his lack of attraction to the opposite sex, he is always invited by people of the same sex, which makes him very troubled.
But he would only mention it when rejecting others, and usually he was too lazy to explain or clarify his sexual orientation.
There is no need. None of those people will intersect with my private life. Instead of explaining this, I might as well play the guitar more and appreciate the new tiger skin braised eggs in the spicy chicken restaurant.
Mr. P was too lazy to explain his sexual orientation to his neighbors, and later he was too lazy to explain his sexual orientation to his colleagues.
"I really have a wife, I married her, no, she is not a fictional character, and I did not hide her identity because she is actually a man, she just doesn't like to deal with people" - "No, I really have a wife, look at my ring, no, I really can't go to a bachelor party with strippers, no, I can't drink with you until 10:30" -
Once you start explaining, it becomes a long and tedious defense.
However, when a person's "wife" only exists in verbal descriptions and no photos can be produced, it is difficult to convince colleagues no matter how hard you try.
In the end, Mr. P was dragged to a colleague's bachelor party, but he escaped before the strippers took off their clothes.
-twenty two-
When M came to see him late at night, he was still in the bathroom struggling to wash off the glitter that had gotten on his elbow when the dancer pulled it.
She had knocked on the doorframe, moved closer and poked his shoulder, then said something else, but he was so lost in his aversion to glitter that he didn't hear clearly.
...Anyway, she just came to pull him into bed. The only reason she came to him in the middle of the night could be for this. Nothing had changed after they got married.
As if getting no response, she began to pull his shirt directly, as if wanting to hug his waist——
Mr. P put the towel in his hand down heavily beside him.
He wasn't someone who could get angry, but he was a little annoyed because the glitter couldn't be washed off.
"Can't you take some time to meet my colleagues or friends?"
He asked her, "No one believes I'm married."
-twenty three-
M stared at him with wide eyes, her expression confused and speechless, as if what he had just asked was "Do you love me or not?"
"Why should I go? I'm busy. What if no one believes you're getting married?"
"...they would ignore my objections, pressure me into hooking up with other people, and drag me to parties to watch strippers."
Ms. M: “…”
Now Miss M's expression changed again.
It becomes an expression of "This idiot just asked me if Garfield and Doraemon are the same cat."
Unbelievable. Looking at the expression of a super idiot.
"You? Hooking up with someone? Watching a stripper?"
-twenty four-
"Don't be so outrageous. I just disturbed you while you were washing your hands. Why are you so angry?"
"...I was watched as a stripper by my coworkers tonight."
"Hmm, make it up."
“…”
"Alright, alright, there's nothing wrong with watching a stripper. The strippers will jump away from you, kid. You're so unattractive, do you really think the strippers will like you?"
“…”
But tonight she just rubbed half of my arm with glitter.
-25-
Mr. P wanted to sigh, but he was not used to sighing.
He turned on the faucet, and when he realized that his elbows and palms were completely clean, he realized that his previous question was too boring.
...What's the point of asking M such a question? If I really tell her, there will only be a few more dead colleagues and dancers in the world.
Mr. P knew that she probably had some possessiveness towards him, but that possessiveness was not enough to make her make an exception or act abnormally.
Why? If he asked a few questions or complained a few times, would she take care of such a small matter according to his wishes, and make an exception to appear in his circle of life, get to know his colleagues, and show up in front of his friends?
M doesn't.
Putting a ring on her finger, like sleeping with her, doesn't mean anything.
...Then, what else can he do except get used to it?
-26-
They would not inquire about each other's work or hobbies, and even kept each other's names as personal secrets.
All his colleagues, all his friends, all his social circles - no one had ever seen her.
Of course, she is the same.
Mr. P can be sure that he has never been mentioned by Ms. M in any of her daily life - work, leisure life, circle of friends -
Just as Mr. P thought before, every time they met was just a small intersection, and "play" was such a frivolous word.
Apart from that, there is nothing else.
What else?
-27-
That's all.
There is nothing you can get from her by complaining, demanding, or questioning.
The above three methods are the worst options. Expressing your dissatisfaction in an aggressive and emotional manner will only make her frown and leave.
...Anyway, Mr. P has already observed and understood many other channels.
It just takes a little longer and requires a little more energy.
But it doesn't matter, it's something that needs to be mastered, isn't it?
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