-1-
M often falls into some kind of corner.
After randomly jumping into a world outside the system world and getting drunk in a place where no one knows her, she will find herself falling into a corner filled with corpses, shadows or stray animals.
Either you open your eyes and see a strangled cat, or before you even open your eyes, a sick, lame puppy licks your cheek.
-2-
M doesn't like stray animals, but she dislikes the strangled cat even more than the puppy that licks her face like a puddle with its crippled legs.
The latter had a terrible smell and would make her hangover even worse.
...What? You're saying she didn't have to be this miserable. There's no linear relationship between being drunk and wandering. It's rare for someone to wake up in such a miserable corner after drinking too much.
-3-
That's right, M can agree to any man who hits on her, and M can also send messages to other employees in the system world, ordering them to take care of herself, the top of the food chain.
But just because M can does not mean she is willing.
When she was sleeping on the street wearing a garbage bag, she wouldn't even give the top rich and handsome guy in the system world a chance. There was no reason to give him such an opportunity just because of a hangover.
So what if she woke up in chaos in a sad and dark corner? She was a lunatic, and a lunatic could certainly abandon the comfortable and warm bed and the smelly and clean sheets, and fall into the depths of a dirty alley out of interest.
-4-
M is a madman with too much freedom, but "too much freedom" actually means having no home to return to.
She chose not to have a home, she chose to reject everyone, so she happily fell into a corner full of stray animals without seeking any help.
Does M need help?
She is M, and [M] has nothing to do with the word [help], just like she has nothing to do with the word [considerate].
She ate the cat food of the stray cats and snatched the lollipops from the children. The reason for the snatching was not even because she was hungry - although her stomach was indeed rumbling with hunger - but mainly because she wanted to see the stray cats hissing at her and watch the children crying loudly on the street.
M is a complete villain, don't have any illusions about her.
Villains should be shunned by everyone and confined to a dark and gloomy corner.
She and anyone who knew her agreed on this.
——And the dark corner is her home. She was born there and she will only return there. Just like stray animals must have a fixed trash can, M will definitely fall drunkenly in a fixed shadow.
-5-
...So, the first time.
When she woke up after a drunken bout, she was no longer in the dark corner.
Miss M stared at the bright window and the wind chimes hanging beside the window for a while, then shifted her gaze to the classical guitar hanging on the wall.
It was a plain guitar. It looked vaguely familiar.
Then she turned her gaze back to herself and took in the dark blue sheets, the bedside cabinet with headphones and records hanging on it, and the photo stuck to the top of the hook with white tape.
The photo was pasted carelessly, the tape was shaky, and a dry corner was sticking out.
It was not a very delicate photo, and the content was a bit blurry. One could only vaguely see that the protagonist of the photo had blonde hair, and the small blonde figure was standing in front of a red house.
-6-
It looks really, really small.
A blonde figure, the size of a pinky finger, is in the very center of the photo.
Miss M stared at the blurry photo for a long time.
Her hangover-stricken state prevented her from looking away in time. Moreover, the photo was right in the place where she could see it as soon as she opened her eyes while lying flat on her pillow.
-7-
After a while, she slowly began to realize that the background of the photo was not a red house, but a house on fire.
And the little blonde in the photo seems to have... uh... two horns?
Her head began to ache, and her gradually recovering sense of smell returned along with her rationality—
Miss M smelled maple syrup, coffee and toast.
And the sheets and pillows all have this smell.
...was it fabric softener, or was it the usual breakfast menu at this hotel?
-8-
Wait, do hotels have fabric softener with this scent and pillowcases with this color?
-9-
A second later, Miss M regained her consciousness and realized that she was not in the hotel and the guitar on the wall was not part of the hotel's interior decoration.
— She instantly jumped out of bed, fled to the French window, and leaped onto the window frame like a flying bird — She used the super high maneuverability she had during maintenance to turn her body sideways, silently passing the wind chime that seemed so easy to ring —
"Good morning. Some toast?"
——M quickly returned to the bed.
-10-
She calmly replied, "Good morning. Okay, I'd like some toast."
Mr. P walked in, but he didn't have a tray in his hands, only a cup of coffee.
"oh."
He seemed surprised. "I thought you had jumped out the window and escaped."
Ms. M: “…”
"So I was just asking out of courtesy... Wait a minute, I'll go make some toast. There are some uneaten cookies and peanut butter in the fridge..."
Ms. M: “…”
-11-
Five minutes later, she got peanut butter toast and three microwaved cookies.
Mr. P made her a second cup of coffee in the kitchen: It was obvious that he was a man who had lived alone for a long time, and even when making coffee in the morning he would only make the exact amount for one cup.
Before leaving, he apologized in advance because "I'm clumsy and can't make the fancy things on the top like they do in coffee shops. At most I can add milk and sugar."
Ms. M didn't feel there was anything to be sorry about. She had seen many coffee shop employees standing in front of the machine with paper cups making coffee, but she had never seen anyone make coffee specifically for themselves.
Who dares? She dismantled so many coffee shop robots in the system world.
-12-
So now, she was even a little curious and wanted to go to the kitchen to see him making coffee.
…But forget it. It feels weird.
Miss M sat on the bed. She silently took the toast from the plate, put it in her mouth, and tried to chew it silently, as if she had just avoided a wind chime.
...This was the first time in her life that she woke up in a stranger's home. It was also the first time in her life that she clearly remembered what she said and did when she was drunk, and she felt a deep sense of regret.
-13-
M never regrets.
...But [treat your boyfriend seriously]... Come on... I wonder if I can ask that piece of data garbage to let me turn back the time of this world by one day and delete that invitation?
If he was just an ordinary one-night stand partner, not her new boyfriend, she could have easily escaped through the window, returned to the system world, and packed up all her memories of last night and thrown them away.
Hiss, but he is now her serious [boyfriend].
-14-
Miss M couldn't remember her virginity, but she definitely remembered this morning.
She tasted regret for the first time, and also experienced a decent hangover for the first time—it turns out that a hangover isn't that bad as long as you're cared for in a soft bed.
...No, I still want to jump out of the window and escape.
This experience is so strange.
She couldn't stand it.
-15-
"Here's your coffee...ah."
Mr. P walked into the room again with another look of surprise: "Why haven't you jumped out the window yet? Do you want coffee so badly?"
Ms. M: "...Why do you always expect me to jump out the window and escape?"
And why did you expect me to jump out the window and still make a second cup of coffee?
You guys really have weird behavior and logic. "You have a problem" is definitely not an illusion I had after drinking too much last night.
-16-
The blond boy shrugged and didn't answer, just sat down on the edge of the bed.
"How are you?" he said. "You seemed really down last night when you were drinking."
...Yeah, it was so bad that I decided to take my boyfriend seriously and even said I wanted to sleep in his apartment.
She's definitely more suited to clubbing. She'll probably quit drinking in the future. Just clubbing, no drinking.
Miss M bit off a piece of toast vaguely: "I'm fine. How about you?"
"I'm doing great. I have a girlfriend in less than two days, and I don't think there's any reason to feel bad about something like that falling from the sky."
“…”
That makes sense.
"Yeah. So you like crepes?"
"Are we going to start learning about each other's hobbies now? We've only known each other for less than two days?"
The boy shook his head. "That's not necessary. I'm not the clingy type, so you don't have to worry too much. I think as semi-strangers, it's better for us to keep some distance from each other."
-17-
Hangover morning in my new boyfriend's bed, I heard him say "keep your distance" -
Any normal girl would probably start to freak out.
Miss M felt relieved, her mood immediately improved, and she showed an extremely bright smile.
"That's great! I love that!"
"Thank you. I'm glad you like it."
"Your sheet softener smells amazing! And the pillows are super comfortable!"
"Thank you. I'm glad you like it."
"The guitar you have hanging on the wall is also very beautiful - the record collection in your wall cabinet is almost all the music I like -"
"Thank you. I'm glad you like it."
"And the two horns on the little figure's head in the photo of the red house are—"
"Oh. That one."
He paused, and Miss M, who was too happy because the pressure was relieved, immediately realized something.
-18-
Her boyfriend had just said he wanted to "keep his distance" seconds ago, but she had already complimented his sheets, pillows, hobbies, and even started asking about the old photos he had taped to the headboard of his bed.
...In which universe is this "keep your distance and don't exchange hobbies"?
"Well, I'm sorry..."
"That photo is a selfie I took when I was saying goodbye to my hometown. The two protruding parts on my head are not horns, but my scissor hands. And the background is not a red house, but a house on fire."
“…”
-19-
Wow.
-20-
Miss M couldn't help swallowing the peanut butter toast in her mouth, then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
"It seems that I didn't get a boyfriend because of alcohol. You're also very interesting when you're sober!"
Mr. P: “…”
The peanut butter in his refrigerator must be the non-alcoholic type.
Mr. P couldn't help but look at her.
That look was exactly the same as the one Miss M gave him many years later—as if she was looking at the idiot who thought "Do you think Garfield and Hello Kitty are the same cat?"
-twenty one-
The only difference is that when Miss M hears "I will be harassed by strippers", she will think that the person who said this is a fool;
Mr. P would seriously consider whether she was suffering from alcoholic dementia when he heard a compliment or received a kiss on the cheek.
-twenty two-
The impact was so strong that he had to pause for a while.
"What? Are you shy?"
"No. You got me some peanut butter."
"Excuse me, can I lick it clean for you?"
“…”
Please don't invite me in the morning. Morning sex is only for couples... No, now that we're in a relationship, it seems like morning sex is totally fine.
Mr. P frowned and then let go.
Like a guy who suddenly realized that he didn't fall into a dark corner, he was also a little uncomfortable.
He wasn't used to this. It was weird.
"No thanks. I'll get some tissues."
-twenty three-
Miss M watched him turn and leave, and she couldn't help but take a deep breath in her heart.
Wow, he was so innocent that he didn't realize that the "lick it clean" just now was a sexual invitation.
-twenty four-
Which ivory tower collapsed, causing this child to unfortunately fall into the evil world?
-25-
Miss M's invitation was not made on impulse, she just wanted to bring the topic, rhythm and way of getting along back to the area she was familiar with.
And she was familiar with how to have sex with a man - well, although she had never actually done it, she didn't remember it, but she had heard and seen so much experience that it must be enough -
But she has no idea how to have a serious relationship.
"Harmony in bed means harmony in everything." This is a simple statement but it makes sense.
Anyway, Miss M understands that the ultimate goal of falling in love is to have sex, so she might as well directly invite the other party to achieve the ultimate goal. This way, she can complete the "considerate, caring and serious treatment" process as soon as possible, and then go their separate ways.
How wonderful.
-26-
…However, contrary to her wishes, the boyfriend whom she impulsively decided to “take seriously” avoided any invitations.
When eating, any "lick it clean" will be converted by him into "go get a tissue";
Before going to bed, any "cold, hug me" will be converted by him into "I'll get a thick blanket right away";
Even when they passed by the hotel entrance while playing, she stopped and pointed at the information board with room types and prices and said, "I want to try it too." He could still convert it into, "Okay, here's the room card. I'll wait outside for you to come out after playing, but to be honest, a hotel room is not an amusement park, it's not that fun" -
Yes.
This time, Miss M not only remembered him, but also remembered him for many, many days, and never tried to clear her memory.
This time, Miss M not only did not return to the system world, but also ate and dated with him, and even slept in his apartment.
-27-
Although it wasn't a bed, she slept on the bed and he slept on the sofa.
——However, for [M], this is truly a groundbreaking miracle of historical significance.
"Because that's what a serious relationship has to do... unless the relationship is seriously over."
She mumbled, "I have to listen to my sister."
Mr. P, who was making his bed on the sofa with his back to her, responded vaguely: "I really hope I can meet this 'sister'. I want to give her flowers to thank her."
"...Apart from anything else, you really don't want to sleep with me?"
"Sorry. We've only been dating for three weeks, and couples who have only been dating for three weeks shouldn't sleep together."
"But I'm cold at night..."
"Is the quilt not thick enough? Wait a moment."
-28-
After saying that, he turned around and went to look for the thick quilt at the bottom of the closet. He was very proactive and showed his deep concern for his girlfriend.
But when Miss M watched his back, she just thought, what a silly and naive kid.
Which girl would complain of being cold on a spring night while covering herself with a winter duvet?
"Cold" simply means that you should get into bed and keep her warm.
-29-
...Well, she admitted that when things rolled here like the wheel of history, it was unstoppable.
Miss M no longer stayed here patiently for the reason of "my sister taught me to date seriously". The reason that made her break the routine and play the role of "good girlfriend" and date him seriously was nothing more than -
She felt more and more that this guy fascinated her.
-30-
If the pleasure she could find in ordinary humans was a dish of water, the pleasure she could find in nonhumans was a basin of water, the pleasure she could find in a world in dire need of repair was a bucket of water—
This guy is like the ocean.
He didn't need her to "have fun."
He was the fun itself, the mystery itself. Just standing there, she had a million eager curiosity.
-31-
He seemed to have a barrier stronger than diamond. No one could break through his defense and see what his true core was.
-32-
During the three weeks of her relationship with him, Miss M wanted to sleep with him more than once, and wanted to kill him more than once.
There was actually no difference in the source of the two impulses—she just wanted to see his expression when he was completely out of control.
Given his extremely high level of defensiveness, Ms. M believed that she could only test him with the two most extreme possibilities for human beings - sex and death.
Any human being would lose control when experiencing these two things.
She didn't believe that he wouldn't show an expression of losing control after experiencing these two things.
-33-
—Of course, we all know that it turns out that he won’t.
The undead P was killed millions of times, but he could still stand up again millions of times, pat his dirty clothes, and complain that he had slowed down the work progress and had to work overtime.
Moreover, even after the maintenance department employee officially established a physical relationship with his boss, his boss still hated him to death - he would put on his clothes and leave after the intercourse, or send her back to his bed to sleep, watching her undress like watching her peel an onion, and when he was seduced, he would turn his head away and continue to obsessively scrub the bathtub -
As if to take revenge on her for not caring about sleeping with him, he also acted as if he didn't care about being slept with.
...It's really annoying! It's really annoying!
Miss M doesn't understand what double standards are. She just rightfully doesn't like the way this guy looks at her taking off her clothes as if she were watching a video of peeling onions!
She dragged him to a nightclub to dance and forced him to pick out a miniskirt for her - but he paid no attention to her on the dance floor, and didn't care at all that the miniskirt she was wearing was so short that it attracted the attention of all the men!
And no matter what she did—killing him, fucking him, wearing a bikini in front of him, invading his private life and leisure time—spending fifty years on this—he just couldn't get through! He couldn't!
What? This guy's heart is covered in a thousand layers of adamantium, right? Or is he just a robot?
——How could he be a robot? He has flesh and blood and warmth, she has experienced it herself——But why, he is definitely not a robot but acts like a robot!
-34-
……cough.
certainly.
Ms. M, who thought she had "just met" an interesting blond boy and had "only been dating" him for three weeks, did not experience the distress she would face as a boss many, many years later.
She still felt that she had a sure win over him, and she only needed to lure him into bed or plot his death, so that she could enjoy watching him break down and thus shift her interest and move on.
By the way, even the maintenance department boss many years later felt that he had a sure win.
Because Mr. P would almost always give in when she was about to go crazy, and take the initiative to say "I'm jealous" or "You're so beautiful."
-35-
The angels in the maintenance department are really good at expressing their needs frankly——
Unlike the married man, he could clearly say, "Ms. M, a woman just tried to steal my fruit plate in the nightclub and even tried to dirty my pants pockets with her juice-soaked hands. Please protect me."
...Well, not to mention the strippers who rub glitter all over their bodies, he would even complain to his boss if someone snatched his oranges from him.
Moreover, his way of complaining was very subtle, as if he was just an innocent child who was disgusted that the other person had soiled his clothes with his hands stained with orange juice, but in fact, Miss M was able to immediately extract the information that "the woman wanted to touch Xiao P's thigh."
After all, Mr. P said "dirty my trouser pockets" instead of "dirty my clothes."
The "trouser pocket" area is very delicate.
...No one knows whether he said this intentionally or unintentionally.
-36-
In short, Mr. P from the maintenance department is really good at telling tidbits to his boss.
"I am weak", "I need protection" and "Someone is bullying me" are basically the first three high-frequency phrases in the communication records between him and Miss M on the public channel.
By the way, the top three most frequently used phrases in the communication records between him and her on the private channel are "Please stop acting like a spoiled child", "Please stop making trouble", and "Please stop playing pranks on me".
-37-
The living Mr. P is obviously not very good at complaining - of course, this is only compared with Mr. P in the maintenance department.
And P in the maintenance department doesn’t complain about everything.
He deals with different situations. For example, if R informed his male colleagues that Mr. P had not revealed a single word to Ms. M, he would take a whole morning to deal with the matter, and then drive back to pick up his boss and take him home to sleep as if nothing had happened.
It's nothing like a married person who gets so disgusted by a stripper applying a little glitter on her that he washes his hands frantically, almost losing control of his emotions.
Learning and practice are the ladder of biological growth.
It's clear that Mr. P never wastes an opportunity to improve himself.
——If the undead P were to talk to the married P, the former would definitely smile with an angelic confidence.
-38-
"You almost started questioning. What a shame, sir, that you let your emotions get the better of you and chose such a foolish approach."
The latter would probably pause briefly, frowning in annoyance. "It's only 'almost,' not 'actually.' Besides, you might not understand, this is a unique difficulty in marriage, and it's completely different from an unofficial superior-subordinate relationship in the workplace."
...The conversation between the two Mr. P's probably wouldn't be very harmonious, so let's just forget it.
-39-
It’s inexplicably terrifying just thinking about it.
Huh.
It's clearly two angels together, why is it so scary?
-40-
——In short, time goes back to that world, that early spring.
Miss M had an unprecedented three-week relationship, with no sex, no alcohol, just breakfast, dates and goodnight. This process can be called a "historical miracle" in M's long life.
But her boyfriend, who had created a miracle by his own efforts, had no self-awareness at all. He spent time with her as usual, took her on dates, spread toast on her and cut steak for her, as if they were just an ordinary couple in the world.
But he didn't say "I love you". What he said to her most often was "Hey, why haven't you jumped out of the window and escaped yet?"
Tsk, the more frequently he mentioned it, the less Miss M wanted to jump out the window and escape.
...Wait, why did she default to running away!
She was clearly leaving! Abandoning him! Leaving!
Not running away!
-41-
Miss M thought indignantly in the supermarket and threw a new tube of toothpaste into the shopping cart as she needed to use it at her boyfriend's apartment.
This tube should be enough for the next three months, right?
If it's autumn, she wants to change it again.
My boyfriend told me that supermarkets will have a limited edition hawthorn-flavored bubble toothpaste in the fall.
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