-1-
One early spring in a certain world, Miss M got a boyfriend.
She was associated with the words "serious relationship" and "living together in love", and strangely, she did not feel too much resentment.
Although the thought that "I will one day say goodbye to him and put everything related to him behind me" is still clear, but, well, how should I put it...
Miss M was not quite sure which day that "someday" meant.
-2-
She felt that she would eventually abandon him at some point in the future, but she never really wanted to leave.
"I haven't figured out his inner self yet," "I still think he's funny," "He and I haven't finished visiting all the fun bars and record stores in the world"—
There were too many things that attracted her to stay here.
...She was attracted, but definitely not seduced. Ms. M thought she could tell the difference clearly.
After all, the boyfriend himself seemed incredulous about her staying. Every morning when he walked into her room, he found her still lying in his bed in perfect condition—not quite “perfect condition”, as she had destroyed all his smooth, wrinkle-free bedding, with her black hair and pillow tucked together and buried under the corner of the quilt, and she slept like she was curled up in a garbage dump.
Every morning when Miss M opened her eyes, murmured, and poked her head out from under the quilt to say good morning to him as usual, she would be met with his strange look.
It's like watching a stray cat actively using its paw to ring the doorbell while holding its food bowl.
-3-
Ms. M: "What are you looking at? Is that the way you should look at your girlfriend lying in bed?"
Mr. P: "Nothing. Just very fantastical."
Ms. M: "...looking at your girlfriend lying on your bed in just her pajamas, your only thought is 'fantasy'?"
Mr. P: "Oh, sorry, I forgot. What would you like for breakfast?"
Ms. M: "...Eggs Benedict. I want them cooked just right."
Mr. P: "Sorry. I only know how to spread peanut butter on toast. The menu you can choose from is single-sided peanut butter toast and double-sided peanut butter toast."
Ms. M: “…”
-4-
Then what are you asking about?
-5-
"Your girlfriend lives in your house and eats breakfast with you, have you ever thought about improving your cooking skills?"
"I'm sorry. I always assumed you'd leave soon, so I had no motivation to improve my cooking."
“…”
-6-
What a novel and frank scumbag.
But she just likes it.
——Ms. M bit off the crispy edge of the toast and glared at her boyfriend who was making coffee for her in the kitchen.
...The sight of someone making coffee for her from behind isn't particularly interesting or pretty. She's only been looking at it for a few months, and she'll definitely get tired of it one day.
And, tsk, a man whose only kitchen skill is spreading toast.
In my sister's words, this kind of person is "too useless and will never get married."
Although his skills in toasting and spreading toast were just right, and he could even spread frozen butter evenly, the peanut butter toast he made was indeed not on the same level as the toast sold outside.
But, hum, it’s still toast.
When it comes to other dishes, I either take her out to eat or pack up the food from the restaurant and bring it back for her.
...With such poor kitchen skills, she will surely get bored quickly.
So there is no need to be too nervous. There will definitely be a day in the future when she will turn around and leave.
-7-
Besides, if you think about it, she is an M, and there are no set "principles" in her life, right?
Although I have never thought about dating, as long as it's fun, it's not wrong to give it a try.
A madman is not a Puritan. He will not stubbornly advocate "no love" and "no dating", and abide by these rules as if he is guarding the purity of his own character.
-8-
Besides, how could anyone pay attention to this guy except her, a lunatic?
He would only serve toast for breakfast, would never cross the line at night, would never hold her hand or hug her on a date, and dating him was like dating a genderless puppy in a fairy tale.
He wasn't super handsome, and his figure was carefully concealed so she wouldn't see it. The charm he exuded in his every move was completely incomparable to those employees in the Love Maintenance Department. He said he could play the guitar, but in fact he played it awfully. He also liked weird snacks and activities, and his gentlemanly manners were almost non-existent, so he rejected her without any hesitation.
Even though he is blond and blue-eyed, he is definitely not the "Prince Highness" type.
Compared to a prince, he is more like a maple leaf - warm and calm, and will not cause any ripples even if it is blown down by the wind.
Hanging on a branch where the sun shines, or falling into a deep dark well.
Who cares, who can tell the difference?
-9-
Compared to the suitors she had in the distant past, compared to the suitors she currently works for in the system world—
This boy is so different.
Even if his words were barely nice - no matter what kind of communication he had, in the end he would always mention that he hoped to break up with her as soon as possible.
“This is fantastical” and “What do you want to do?”
What? She couldn't just fall in love on a whim? Was there some doctrine that forbade them from falling in love?
The more he is rejected, the more M wants to get closer.
-10-
Miss M couldn't say anything good about him, but she inexplicably liked playing with him.
For many early morning hours, they wandered the streets, frequently changing meeting places, attending strange activities, and carrying a variety of snacks or drinks in their bags.
He took Miss M to an empty ramen shop, a bookstore with records piled out of the door frame, and various late-night movie theaters hidden underground. She even tried skateboarding and sprayed paint on the wall while standing on railroad ties in a train tunnel.
It’s called a “date”, but it’s really just “playing together”.
She might jump on the basket of his bicycle and poke his face or waist with a smile - but he never approached her or asked for any physical contact.
-11-
The wheels rolled over the fine gravel on the path in Central Park. His hair and eyes flashed in the intermittent street lights.
That night at 11 o'clock, after taking a shower, she suddenly said, "Have you ever played with spray flowers on the embankment of the small river next to the park?"
He said, "That sounds interesting."
So, ten minutes later, her boyfriend took her to the Central Park on his bike, turned into a small path with an old lock that could be opened with a slight bump, and then the bike "clicked" towards the riverbank late at night.
He was carrying two cans of beer, Oreo cookies and a dozen spray bottles. He originally wanted to put the backpack into the basket, but Miss M jumped in. He could only silently put the two backpack straps on his shoulders and take away her hand that was ringing the bicycle bell.
They rode to the deserted park so carelessly.
She had just finished taking a shower and her hair was not yet dry. The night wind brought by the bicycle made the newly bought orange-scented hair oil almost turn into an invisible cloud.
So her boyfriend complimented her hair on how nice it smelled while he was riding his bike.
Miss M was very happy. She sat on the bicycle basket and asked him with squinted eyes, "Since it smells so good, do you want to kiss me?"
-12-
"No. It's late at night and there are no street lights up ahead. I need to drive carefully."
"You're so boring."
"Thank you, I'm glad you like it."
——If we were to rank relationships by weight, the relationship her boyfriend created would definitely rank first.
So light, so light.
It is lighter than a maple leaf, and the "emotion" is almost imperceptible, but it is not a naked sex transaction.
-13-
Because he really took her out to play and had fun with her, and had no intention of coaxing her into bed or relying on her to achieve any goals - the boy's eyes when looking at her might be complicated sometimes, but they were definitely pure.
She looked into his eyes and didn't sigh at how orthodox the light blue was and how well it complemented the blonde hair.
She would only remember his clean sheets and duvet covers, his well-manicured nails, his knuckles so pale that they showed a hint of pink, and the smile he wore when he played with them.
Miss M would not say that this was the best man she had ever met - after all, she had forgotten almost all men -
But it was the best date she had ever been on, every date with him was the best, and she could honestly say she had never been on any date.
-14-
Also, because they always chose places where no one passed by and times when no one was around to play, he often carried the guitar with him and took it out to play whenever he had time.
Miss M always complains that his playing skills are rubbish.
But she always listened carefully.
Because Mr. P who was plucking the guitar strings seemed very different from Mr. P at other times - when he held the guitar and moved his fingers awkwardly, Miss M always felt that she had a glimpse of something real.
...But his playing was so bad that no matter how real his revelations were, Miss M would eventually give up thinking deeply about him and start mocking him.
-15-
This was one of the reasons why she listened carefully to his playing.
Because after playing the guitar, Mr. P was very gentle in the face of ridicule and nitpicking, unlike him who made breakfast and would only spread it on toast when being disliked. The breakfast he brought to the table with a smile today would turn into burnt toast.
Miss M likes to tease him because her boyfriend is so arrogant and rejects her an average of three times a day.
"Who else can you have but me?" She naturally kept this rather bad comment on her lips and mentioned it often, without realizing that it was a denigration or contempt for him.
Mr. P never raised the issue, and it was clear that he was not the type to be swayed by the unintentional put-downs contained in this statement.
And every time he would nod and reply, "Yes, it can only be you."
-16-
Unknowingly, Miss M's love affair continued like this.
She teased him, teased him, praised him, or flirted with him.
She went to many fun places with him and experienced many fun things.
-17-
Before we knew it, the spring toothpaste became the summer toothpaste, and the autumn toothbrush cup became the winter snowman cup.
-18-
She had been in a relationship for a whole year.
...It wasn't really a romantic relationship, but she stayed with him for a whole year.
Although the flow of time in the system world was different from that in this world, and although she could return to that system at any time without delaying any work or affecting her mission as an undead—she could travel back when he went to work and back before he got off work, and while doing so, she could exploit the main system by saying she was looking for one-night stands—
But, in reality, she stayed in this world for a whole year.
-19-
It was still early in the morning in early winter.
She said she thought a new whack-a-mole bubble gum machine in a remote neighborhood was fun, and her boyfriend was also very interested in the hazelnut-fig flavored bubble gum, so she immediately ran over and arrived at midnight.
Just like before, they went to some strange place together and started playing with some strange things, and they all had a lot of fun for some strange reason.
After successfully defeating the mole, Miss M sat on a bench on the street, squeaking and pinching the broken and detached plastic hammer. Mr. P stood behind the bench, his arm resting on the backrest, eating hazelnut and fig flavored bubble gum, and seriously suggested that she play a few more games to see if she could get the ultimate reward of "exploding hazelnut and fig flavored bubble gum".
It was no different from countless dates in the past.
But there was a 24-hour express hotel next to the bubble gum machine, and it seemed to be Christmas Eve.
-20-
While Ms. M was holding a small plastic hammer and discussing fig-flavored bubble gum with him, she saw many couples walking into the hotel and many couples walking out of the hotel.
Couples kissed passionately or said goodbye in tears at the hotel entrance.
But her boyfriend stood there stupidly, always keeping his eye on the fig-flavored bubble gum.
Miss M couldn't help but make a "squeak-ah" sound with the small plastic whack-a-mole hammer in her hand.
-twenty one-
"Hey, why haven't we kissed yet?"
...Not once, a kiss between their lips, close to each other.
-twenty two-
Mr. P stood behind the bench and blew some bubble gum with an innocent look on his face.
"Do we need to kiss?"
"...Why not?"
"Well. It's simple. You don't want to kiss. So we don't kiss. Same reason we don't have sex."
“…”
-twenty three-
Miss M threw the small plastic hammer in her hand away.
Not far away, a sizzling couple separated their stuck faces as if frightened.
"Who said I don't want to? I do. They're all kissing. I want to too."
"You don't want it. You're just sulking, Meowth."
"I'm not angry. Don't call me meow."
-twenty four-
Mr. P was chewing fig-flavored bubble gum and couldn't help but reach out to touch her bangs. Miss M opened them with a "snap", just like playing whack-a-mole just now.
She frowned and looked up: "Hey. Now spit out the bubble gum in your mouth. Lower your head and kiss me."
“…”
Mr. P didn't spit out the bubble gum in his mouth.
He chewed his candy and looked at the sticky couple over there, with a puzzled expression: "There's no way to kiss like that. If you really want it, we should plan a formal date."
Ms. M: "But tonight is our date."
"You know tonight's date has nothing to do with a date that involves kissing, meow."
"...Don't call me meow. Or do you want your head twisted off? It's okay if I kiss one head, it counts as a kiss."
“…”
-25-
Mr. P spread his hands and shrugged slightly to show that he admitted defeat.
-26-
"Okay. If you want—I'll prepare a very formal date for tomorrow night. If that's what you want, I suppose we can try kissing."
Miss M frowned. "What's the difference? Why do we have to go on another date?"
"Because kissing is different from playing." He seemed to smile, standing with his back to the streetlight, so that she couldn't see the bottom of his eyes at this moment. "Kissing has weight."
……Yeah.
Has weight.
-27-
Miss M has been on countless light dates, but she has never gotten anything of weight.
…She felt subconsciously uncomfortable, but also subconsciously unhappy.
So what if it has weight?
Anyway, you are next to me, and you are such a strange and relaxed guy - no matter how heavy the kiss is, if you kiss me, what pressure and consequences can it bring?
It was just a kiss.
Lightly, at most just the weight of the lips.
-28-
On Christmas Eve, other girls in love have it.
…Why can’t she have it? She wants it too.
-29-
"I don't care. I want a kiss. Whatever you want for a formal date—anyway, you have to kiss me. You have to."
"...Okay. I'll be ready."
-30-
So naturally they made another date.
On Christmas Day, next midnight.
We agreed in advance that this would be a special date just for kissing.
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