Chapter Eight
Xu Weiwei frowned and said, "That's just how the world is. It's a mix of truth and falsehood, good and bad. If you try to investigate everything thoroughly, it will be exhausting."
I actually think that's how it is with idol worship. When I become a CP (couple) fan, do I really believe they're doing pure love? I really do when I watch videos.
Like now, I know they already have girlfriends, so I can't watch those CP videos anymore because I know they're fake. But I don't regret actually shipping them as a couple.
Stanning celebrities is a grand act of self-delusion and a one-sided outpouring of affection, much like having a crush. Does the outcome really matter? Yes, it does.
If the result is bad, I can let it go; if the result is good, I will be very relieved. But more often than not, I will suddenly change my mind before I even have a chance to see the result.
Like a couple I once saw, the man took the initiative to pursue the woman. He pursued her for half a year, sending her flowers almost every morning, treating her to three meals a day, and giving her gifts on holidays. He prepared many surprises for her.
Later, the woman agreed to date the man, and I thought that since he had put in so much effort and sacrifice, he must love her very much. But they broke up in less than six months, and it was the man who initiated it.
I was curious about the reason for the breakup, so I asked the guy. He was very honest and said that he went out to eat dumplings that morning. When he paid the bill, he originally planned to pack a basket of dumplings to take back to the girl, but he suddenly changed his mind.
He realized at that moment that he no longer loved her, so he went home and immediately broke up with her without any hesitation. When I pressed him for the reason why he changed his mind, he said he didn't know, but he just knew at that moment that he didn't love her anymore.
I don't know how to tell you the complicated emotions I felt when I heard those words; it was like a sudden wake-up call. My feelings about love were shattered.
Does love really exist? If it does, then a love that begins without reason will end without reason, and whose outcome is not determined by ourselves, does it really have any meaning?
Are we puppets? Don't we have our own thoughts? I really want to choose to fall in love with someone. I don't like being hopelessly in love, that is, falling hopelessly in love with someone. It's a particularly terrifying thing for me.
Falling in love with a bad person would be awful, but can love really be cultivated? Even if I don't love someone, but that person meets my ideal requirements for love, can I cultivate myself to fall in love with them?
If possible, would he fall in love with me too? Would he cultivate his own love for me, or would he fall in love with me for no reason at all? Love requires many prerequisites, and unrequited love is the norm.
If I were in a relationship with someone who loved me, but suddenly one day they changed their mind without any reason, would I accept that outcome? Yes, I would.
I may be too pessimistic by nature, and I've suffered too much, so I think that living for the moment means that I love him and he loves me, which is already a kind of luck.
He was incredibly lucky to have spent so much time with me, including countless wonderful moments. I never expect anyone to love me forever; this brief companionship is a reward for me.
I need love, and I crave love, but if I truly lose love, I can accept the outcome and won't feel regret. There's nothing to regret; missing out on me might lead to a better future for him.
He chose to leave me, perhaps because I could no longer bring him happiness; I had become a burden to him. Being a burden to my lover was already a huge burden for me.
I actually believe that it's possible to remain friends after a breakup. Even if it was true love, I can genuinely wish my ex-boyfriend a better future and hope that he can live a better life without me.
Even if I'm not doing well, even if I live in the dark, damp shadow of his departure, it doesn't matter. The person I deeply loved must be happy; as for the pain, I'll leave it to myself.
Li Nan said with some pity, "He left you and doesn't love you anymore, so why do you wish him well? If it were me, I definitely wouldn't wish him well; I would curse him instead."
How could he change his mind? He has no conscience. He's the one who got involved with you. You two are together because you love each other. I can't accept that. I think this kind of person is too bad.
I feel like a lot of people really like those kinds of sadomasochistic relationships, the kind where lovers hate each other and are head-to-head, or the kind where they're constantly at odds. I really don't like that kind of thing at all. I think that relationships like that will break up sooner or later, and they won't last.
Why do I say this? You know what? My parents have never argued, nor have they ever said anything bad about each other; they always defend each other.
My parents are completely in a doting relationship. Even if someone makes a huge mistake, they won't blame them. Like last time, my mom lost 100 million yuan in an investment and was very upset and sad. My dad immediately comforted her, saying that money is just an external thing and not important.
It's only 100 million, not much. Just consider it as charity. It's nothing. Money is meant to be spent. Anyway, I just kept coaxing my mom. It took me almost a month to coax her back.
I'm speechless after seeing all this. So a hundred million is just a small amount of money now? Then why was it that when I was a minor and asked my dad for pocket money, he would always tell me not to spend money recklessly, to be careful with my money, and that our family only runs a small company, and it's all hard-earned money, so we can't waste it or spend it extravagantly?
Don't you realize that I also get paid for acting? Well, when I was a kid, the money I spent on acting was much more than my salary, because child actors don't have their own RVs. In order for me to rest well while filming, my family paid for an RV and a whole bunch of other things. Anyway, it was quite an investment.
I used to think that being in a relationship meant spoiling each other, and that the right way to date was to pamper each other. But after observing how countless other people dated, I realized...
I only found out later that my parents were an accident. Other people's relationships can turn into enemies, with only hatred in their eyes and no love left.
I once saw a couple where the man broke up with her, and the woman felt embarrassed, so she took the initiative to win him back. The man actually thought they were getting back together, but as soon as they did, the woman dumped him again, feeling relieved and venting her anger.
I can't say it's bad, but this kind of love terrifies me. I don't want this kind of turning into enmity to happen to me.
I also know of a couple who started a company together and had three children. The husband secretly took money to buy three villas and a car for his younger brother, and then scolded his children, telling them to do the same, and even warned them not to tell their mother about these things.
However, the initial capital for their company was provided by the woman. Later, the man unscrupulously supported his younger brother, who was a gambling addict who had accumulated a huge debt, forcing the man to use all his family's money to save his brother.
The woman criticized the man, but the man felt that the woman was too cold-blooded and did not care about blood ties at all. Later, the family of five could only survive by eating steamed buns.
I also know a girl who is just as filial. After graduating from junior high school, she went to work in a factory on her own. She worked there for six years and made a little money, so she set up a stall in her spare time.
Aside from sleeping, he had almost no rest time during the day, only work. He worked like this until he was thirty-three, saving up a large sum of money, which he handed over to his parents, keeping not a single penny for himself.
She was 34 years old and about to get married, but her parents refused to contribute any money, saying they had no money. Her future husband, unable to bear seeing her like this, gave her some money as premarital property.
Even after marriage, she still loved her parents and devoted herself to them selflessly. I don't think it's wrong to say that; after all, being filial to one's parents and kind to one's siblings is indeed a good thing and shows kindness.
However, if you date someone like that, you have to understand that in their heart, their parents and siblings are more important than you. They may love you, but they love these people who are ranked higher in their hearts even more.
Like a couple I once met who started dating during their student days and dated for fifteen years, the man was exceptionally good to the woman, gentle, considerate, and understanding. It was like I could never find such a good man again.
However, after the marriage, the woman met his parents and lived with them. The man's mother would always deliberately cause trouble for her, find fault, and have many disputes with her. Every time, the man would side with his mother and ask her to be tolerant because his mother was old.
She was still young, and the younger generation should give way to the elders. After countless concessions, she suffered greatly. In that family, there was nothing but oppression. Her emotions were always bad, and her condition was always off.
There wasn't a single smooth day in her married life, especially after she gave birth to a child. The child initially called her "Grandma" instead of her, which made her even more devastated.
That day, looking at her newborn child, a surge of resentment rushed to her head. She really wanted to strangle the child, but in the end, she didn't.
She chose to divorce and leave the man she had loved for many years. She realized how terrible a "mama's boy" could be; love wasn't his priority, family was.
The reason his mother deliberately made things difficult for her was because she felt that she had stolen her son, and she was deliberately causing trouble to drive her away. She understood these things, and while she still loved the man, she chose to leave, fulfilling her mother's wish.
After the divorce, she didn't date again, instead focusing on her career and putting love aside. Even when her children grew up and wanted to see her, she refused.
After the divorce, she never saw her child again and had no contact with him. She moved to a different city, changed her phone number, and cut off all contact with those scumbags from her past.
And her so-called child was the one that disappointed her the most. After enduring so much physical torment during her ten months of pregnancy, the child she gave birth to was not the one who loved her the most.
What use is a child like that? He's just as heartless and a scoundrel as his father. Later, the woman devoted all her time and energy to her career, which flourished, and she lived a fulfilling and happy life.
After seeing her, I realized that love isn't a necessity for women, and being solely immersed in romantic love is not advisable. Similarly, I understood that my parents' deep love was the result of perfect timing, favorable circumstances, and harmonious relationships.
Love isn't about having as many obstacles or tests as possible; it's about having as few as possible. Also, love should be simple, ideally just a relationship between two people, without involving too many others.
The more people involved, the more complicated the relationships become, and the lower the purity of love. Love doesn't need melodrama or climaxes, nor does it need a "white moonlight," love triangles, or substitutes. Warmth, peace, and tranquility are the best.
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