Chapter 297
After feeding her child in the morning, Wang Jiazhi sat down at her desk and started writing.
There are several paragraphs in it:
Admittedly, for the vast majority of people in this world, marital love may be essential, but it's not absolute. When one partner dies, the other will often start over. At most, they'll keep the deceased in their hearts, remembering to pay respects at the grave during Cold Food Festival and Qingming Festival, and occasionally thinking of them in the middle of the night—all of this is already a sign of deep affection. And this isn't a privilege reserved for men. In feudal society, women were forced to remain chaste because of religious pressure, not out of their own free will.
What this gentleman said seems to imply inequality between men and women in their attitudes towards widowhood.
When a woman loses her husband, she feels hopeless and suffers for the rest of her life, even committing suicide for love. However, when a man loses his wife, he's expected to welcome a new bride over her grave. To live in such pain is unrealistic and absurd. It's as if men are inherently more valuable than women. A man's death is worth a woman's lifelong remembrance and pain, while a woman's death is unworthy of a man's lifelong remembrance.
The world is filled with passionate love. Though rare, this kind of lovemaking isn't a privilege reserved for either men or women. Patriarchal societies often fascinate women who cry out for their husbands' loss, forced to remain widowed, and forced to raise a family and children alone, as cries of deep love for their husbands. Those oppressed by feudal etiquette, who are forbidden to remarry, are often portrayed as deeply in love. And the authors of these heroic women are mostly not women, but self-absorbed men.
The teacher said that even ordinary men are heartless, let alone princes and generals. Then, after Hai Lanzhu's death, Huang Taiji, while arguing that his life was tied to the country and he couldn't be depressed by a woman, couldn't contain his emotions and died of grief two years later. Emperor Wen of Sui died less than two years after Empress Dugu's passing, declaring before his death: "If my soul is aware, I will meet you in the underworld." How can we interpret stories like these?
After Wang Jiazhi finished writing this article, she gave it to the editor to see if it could be published. Of course, it could be published if she wanted to.
One day, several people went to Lao Yi's place for a meeting. After the meeting, they chatted and one of them mentioned a recently famous writer. He said, "He writes very well. I really want to meet him, but the editor insists that she won't see him. I sent him my business card, but he still won't see me. Is my reputation really worthless?"
Lao Yi said: "A scholar has his own character, why do they have to see a powerful person like you?"
"I just saw that her writing had a unique perspective, and I wanted to share my thoughts. I also value her talent. Her writing suggests she's a person with insight, someone who doesn't stick to conventions. I didn't expect her to be so closed off. If this woman is like this, she must be either ugly or a loner."
He said, "I'm afraid she's too beautiful to meet you. A girl who doesn't want to meet strangers easily shows her self-respect. You're so old, yet you're still slandering her. You're just like those scoundrels. Don't you feel it's beneath you?"
"Why are you defending her like that? And who says it has to be a girl? It could be a middle-aged woman."
"If people don't want to see you, you'll just become an old, ugly old lady. You're quite creative. Tomorrow I'll get a hundred people to pass you a film. If there's one you refuse to see, I'll have one go out and spread the word that you're old, ugly, and feudal. How do you do that?"
Another said, "What Lan Jie said is right. Why, just because the girl doesn't want to see you, you're making up stories about her?" Then he said, "But what did I say? You were writing a lawsuit for someone in the newspaper a while ago. Aren't you busy enough? You still have the time to do this? See, see..."
"I said, it wasn't me."
"I'd be surprised if it wasn't you. Whose lover is this? Does your wife Ru know?" He then said to the man, "Now you know, don't act rashly." He then added, "But your confidante is truly rare. Her literary talent and ideas are extremely good. How did you manage to win over such a talented woman? The men you find are getting more and more outstanding."
He smiled and said, "I really don't know her, so stop making up stories." But he couldn't help but show his joy. It was impossible to completely hide the truth, but he wasn't afraid of people talking. Even if they did, what good would it do? There was no evidence, and he had her well hidden. If the day ever came, he wasn't afraid that the mother and daughter wouldn't be able to escape unscathed. He did regret not being able to bring them out; it would be embarrassing.
Since Wang Jiazhi's commentary was published, she's received numerous letters from women, calling on her to support women's independence, gender equality, and greater female awakening. This came as a surprise to her, but she actually wanted to make some effort in this area. She recalled learning to write political commentary from him in her dream, though she couldn't quite recall it now. She'd worked hard all afternoon, finishing two paragraphs. That evening, he'd come home and show them to her, asking her to teach her how to write.
He took a pen and revised some of her words, saying, "As long as the idea is good, nothing else matters. Just make the words sound more impressive."
She nodded and said, "Just use some official language."
Sure enough, I feel very different after the change. It is actually very easy to learn to speak in official language, but the momentum and intention need to be accumulated.
He kept saying that her intention was very noble, but he didn't know if he was just trying to coax her.
She rushed to her desk and began writing again. He saw her usual ivory-white robe, her hair simply tied up. Her back, bent over her desk, looked like a lily petal, so fresh and lovely. She still looked like a high school student, but her childishness seemed too mature for a university student.
She doesn't wear stockings at home now, and her two long white legs are faintly visible from under her shirt, which looks really beautiful.
Now she looked so cute when she was concentrating on writing. After watching her write for a while, he went over and held her on his lap, caressing her white legs.
She wrote another paragraph, showed it to him, and asked him to revise it again. She vaguely recalled the scene in her dream. At that time, he was about the same age as her, but the feelings were the same. If only they could start over, they could really live their lives perfectly.
She recalled a story she'd read in a magazine as a child. It was very long, but she couldn't quite remember the details. At the end, the female protagonist said, "You were born before I was born, and I was born when you were old." It was about how, in his youth, he was supposed to meet a girl he loved, and they should have lived happily ever after. But for some reason, they never met. But it was destined to be this person, so they met in his final years, but they were only together for those few years.
She had never thought of him as old, nor did she think he had any destiny. But after having this dream, she remembered this story.
Thinking about it, she felt sad. As a child, because her mother always spoiled her, she ignored the bad things her father and brother did to her. It was only much later that she realized that because she had never experienced the kindness of a man since she was a child, she did not realize that Kuang Yumin was so selfish.
She had read a detective novel about a couple who appeared to be very affectionate, but a high school girl was convinced they were all faking it. When her friend asked why, the girl explained that there was a staircase at the restaurant's exit that wasn't clearly visible, making it easy to slip and fall. In the past, in such a situation, the boyfriend would have walked in front and warned his wife to be careful. But in this case, the husband walked in front, but he didn't warn his wife.
When she felt uncomfortable and couldn't eat, he would feed her and give her all kinds of nuts. Kuang Yumin would only ask her to drink porridge. If she looked at something more, or if she missed something, he would notice it even if she didn't tell him. Kuang Yumin couldn't rely on these things at all, not even friends like Zhou Minlin could compare to him. When Zhou Minlin saw that the shoes the girls wore were inconvenient, he would ask everyone to turn around during an outing and not continue climbing the muddy mountain. When they went out for an outing, Kuang Yumin only knew how to run wildly with the boys, not caring whether you could keep up or not. When Zhou Minlin invited the girls to dinner, he would insist that the girls order the dishes even if they were embarrassed to do so. Lai Xiujing was so embarrassed that she pointed at the menu with a group of boys. Kuang Yumin would only look at her with a smile, not caring whether the dishes she ordered were what she liked. Maybe he thought he was very good-looking. Of course, she was just too shy and pretentious. Did she still expect him to pay attention to her?
In fact, Wang Jiazhi didn’t understand that there has never been a cold man in this world, it’s just that you are not the one who is warm.
She thought that even if she had a good friend of the opposite sex like Zhou Minlin at the beginning, when she met Kuang Yumin again, she would find that Kuang Yumin was actually very selfish and arrogant, and did not really like her at all.
Lao Yi was very kind to her, and she felt that most of the care and affection from the opposite sex came from him. But their beginnings were too complicated. If possible, she really hoped it could be the kind of beginning she dreamed of. The kind she dreamed of, but with no past, a clean, pure relationship, starting over from the beginning. That was the perfect relationship she had dreamed of since she was a child. But it would never be possible. Thinking about it always made her sad.
Without anyone noticing, snow began to fall outside. It was the first snow of the year. When they saw the snowflakes outside, he took his daughter to the window to watch the snow and said, "Look, this is the first snow you've ever seen."
She didn't realize that, as expected, he had a better sense of ritual than she did.
The next day, she drew a picture: a first snowy night, a large calico cat holding a smaller one in its mouth, watching the snow from the window of a house. The kitten smiled, its tongue lolling out, its paws stretched out in a joyful V. The large cat, holding her in its mouth, also smiled slightly.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
