Chapter 39 Who gave it to me? My lover gave it to me
Anping's smile lingered at the corners of his lips as he reached for his temples. His little finger first touched Chang Xile's fingertips, then the unfamiliar butterfly hairpin. Chang Xile paused, then retracted her hand.
He took off the hairpin and looked at it in his palm. He was silent for a moment, and no one knew what he was thinking.
Chang Xile remained silent, even as questions threatened to burst forth from her heart. She had made this hairpin herself at a handicraft shop, and one of the diamonds had fallen out. It was the only one of its kind in the world, and it belonged to Sui Sui.
"Anping, where did you go after we got separated in the mountains?"
"Why can't I contact you?"
"Why is this hairpin here with you?"
Anping opened his mouth, but ultimately remained silent. He couldn't answer any of these questions.
[So even if you think you've encountered a good ghost or monster, you shouldn't completely trust them for even a moment.]
Tang You once warned Chang Xile like this.
But, Chang Xile thought, isn’t it the same principle when getting along with others?
How do you know whether the person you spend every day with is really black or white?
It doesn't matter if you can't answer. Chang Xile smiled and said, "I think we should stop being lovers."
This sentence means breaking up, and Anping understands it.
"Don't you like me anymore?" His lips softened completely. He raised his head slightly, still looking up at Chang Xile. Anping didn't look shocked, as if he'd expected this day to come. Yet, he seemed sad.
"You really have too many secrets, I can't understand you." Chang Xile shook his head, not knowing whether he was denying the words "I don't like Anping" or just feeling helpless.
"Besides, we don't look like lovers at all." Chang Xile recalled Fang Xinai's previous comments on their relationship and felt that this was absolutely right. She couldn't help but lower her head and smile, concluding, "Before we figure out what 'love' is, let's just be friends first, right?"
If An Ping was just an acquaintance, no matter how many secrets he had that she didn't want to tell Chang Xile, she wouldn't be bothered at all. But he wasn't just an ordinary friend. If things continued like this, Chang Xile would start to feel doubt, suspicion, and anger. Perhaps the two of them would end up fighting to the point where they would never see each other again.
So, up to this point, it can be considered as stopping the loss in time.
Before Chang Xile left the studio, he was stopped by Anping.
He didn't say anything to persuade her to stay, but simply handed her the painting he had just finished: "I promised to give it to you."
Logically speaking, having just broken up with someone, she should have refused such a thoughtful gift. Chang Xile looked at the painting with a conflicted look, wanting to say something but stopping herself.
It's nothing, she really likes this painting.
An Ping obviously noticed her hesitation. He lowered his eyes, raised his hand and shook the butterfly hairpin she had left behind, saying, "Consider it a return gift."
After saying this, he handed the painting to Chang Xile and sat back in front of the drawing board without allowing anyone to refuse.
The sun's shadow had long disappeared from the distant mountains, but the scattered clouds, like a blazing fire, could still reveal a corner of the magnificent scenery.
Chang Xile walked slowly on the cobblestone road, his eyes never leaving the painting in his hand.
The breakup was a predetermined outcome, and Anping didn't pester her like the rumored ex-boyfriend did. Everything was going smoothly. But for some reason, Chang Xile still felt empty inside.
"It's really beautiful, no wonder you don't want to let it go." A voice suddenly came from beside her, scaring her.
"Who said I couldn't bear to part with him? I decisively proposed to break up, okay?" Chang Xile suddenly came to his senses and retorted subconsciously.
"I'm talking about paintings."
Dai Shanyan's calm words quickly irritated Chang Xile. She said with a dull face, "Next time you're going to talk, tell me in advance. Otherwise, I'll be scared to death. Who will go to your funeral in your place?"
"Okay, okay..." Dai Shanyan stopped teasing Chang Xile. She coaxed Chang Xile, trying to cheer her up. "Do you like this painting very much? I have a more beautiful one at home. It's a masterpiece by a famous master. Money can't buy it. If you like it, I'll give it to you."
"Really?" Chang Xile wasn't too moved. She said, "But this painting is already beautiful enough." She didn't need anything better.
Anping was actually not as calm as Chang Xile thought.
He sat by the window and should have painted another picture, but he couldn't lift the pen.
Chang Xile did not answer his question: Don’t you like me anymore?
"What should the relationship between lovers be like?" He asked, looking at the stars rising gradually outside the window.
"I've told you before, you shouldn't just stay by yourself, you should go out for a walk once in a while." The old man sighed leisurely from outside the window, "Leave this shabby studio and see how people outside love each other."
"Just a bunch of vulgar people." Anping was not interested at all. His brows were cold and he no longer had the warm smile he had when facing that person.
"Love itself is vulgar." The old man laughed instead. He stopped trying to persuade her. Recalling some old memories, he sighed, "You young people..."
After a while, the studio door was closed and the sound of a lock could be heard. Moonlight shone into the small room, which was empty. Looking out the large window, it was clear that there was no one there either.
"Where should I go?"
"The station, or the airport? Half of the separations and reunions in the world happen there."
It was National Day, and the station was filled with all kinds of people, so lively that it was almost noisy.
Anping took a deep breath, resisted the urge to turn around and leave, and tried to calm down. He simply put a chair against the wall, sat down, took out the sketchpad he carried with him, and began to sketch.
"Chen Shiyuan! Before you leave, tell me clearly, what am I to you?"
A man, pulling a suitcase, pulled up his collar to hide his face as he prepared to go through security. However, the thinly dressed woman behind him immediately recognized him and rushed out to grab his sleeve. Her makeup was smudged, and she looked like she had just been crying.
"Do you understand what it means to just play along? Whoever takes it seriously will lose!" the man said to the woman impatiently.
Then there was another round of quarrel.
Anping paused.
"I'm really leaving now, don't see me off." Elsewhere, a couple was saying goodbye. The man was straightening his girlfriend's collar, his expression relaxed, seemingly a bit happier than his girlfriend, whose eyes were red with separation. While going through security, the woman was still urging him, "Go home soon! I'll call you when I get there."
However, the man took out his ID card and passed the security check. He smiled triumphantly at his girlfriend's shocked face and said, "I've bought a ticket too. I'll go to Hengzhou with you. We don't have to be in different places anymore!"
The woman threw her arms around her boyfriend's neck and jumped up, crying and laughing.
In the distance, a woman in cheongsam was carrying a small suitcase and walking slowly towards the station exit. A voice caught her attention through the long fence.
"Anna!" Outside the railing, a short-haired girl wearing a denim jacket and black trousers was holding a large bouquet of flowers and shouting the girl's name.
The cheongsam girl was initially stunned, but upon seeing the other person's face clearly, she immediately became excited and incoherent. She trotted out of the station, finally letting go of her suitcase, hugged the short-haired girl's neck, and sobbed softly: "I thought you weren't coming!"
"If you ignore me, will I ignore you too?" The short-haired girl snorted. "Even if I become a ghost, I will haunt you for the rest of my life. Just wait and see!"
Anping's pen tapped regularly on the paper, and he seemed lost in thought.
Human beings always like to express their emotions with tears.
We cry when we say goodbye and we also cry when we reunite. How can we tell the difference?
As the time grew later, the number of people in the station gradually dwindled. Anping lowered his eyes and packed his things to leave.
However, his ears twitched, and he heard the sound of something scattering. Looking up, he saw countless round, bright oranges rolling toward him. Anping instinctively bent down to stop a few of the oranges from "escaping." He looked up and saw an elderly couple in their seventies standing nearby.
The old man held his wife's hand with his left hand and carried a suitcase with his right hand. Hanging from the suitcase was a bag, but now there was a big hole in it, and all the oranges inside had fallen out. The old man wanted to pick them up, but hesitated and didn't dare to let go of his wife's hand.
The old lady's attention was completely unfocused on the people around her. She looked up at the sky, pointed at the moon, and smiled gracefully: "Look, why does the sun look like a hook?"
Anping took out the drawing paper and pen from his bag. He picked up the oranges on the ground one by one, put them into the cloth bag, and walked over to hand them to the old man.
"Thank you, young man." The old man gratefully took the bag, took out a few oranges from it, handed them to him, and gestured, "Here, have some."
Anping hesitated and took one. He noticed the old lady's gaze. Her hair was gray and her smile was kind. She smiled at Anping: "How old are you? Why are your hair grayer than mine?"
Anping paused, and before he could say anything, the old man quickly apologized to Anping: "Ah... My wife is sick, don't take it to heart."
He looked at the time and became anxious: "I have to catch a bus. I finally made an appointment with a specialist to see her tomorrow. This bag..." He wanted to return the bag to Anping, but he had no room on him to put so many oranges.
Anping pushed the bag toward the old man and said, "I'll give it to you. I have a lot of cloth bags like this." He took the suitcase from the old man without giving him a chance to refuse and walked into the station with them.
When they were about to go through security, the old man thanked him repeatedly. But when her husband was fixing her hair, the old woman suddenly started to make a scene: "Who are you? I don't even know you! Go away! Go away!"
The old man patiently explained to her: "I am Hua An, don't you remember me?"
Finally, the old lady calmed down again, but her expression was dazed. She kept asking, "Hua An, how did you become so old?"
The old man laughed and said, "Yes, Ruiping, we are all old people."
Anping was worried that they might need his help, so he waited to see them through security. While they were waiting, the old lady suddenly pointed at Anping.
She pointed at Anping's hair and smiled gently, "This one looks good, just like the one Hua An gave me."
It is the bow in Anping's hair.
"Do you still remember?" The old man looked at his beloved, his expression becoming infinitely gentle. He turned to Anping, who was oblivious to the situation, and explained, "It was a token of love I gave her when we were young. Back then, we weren't well off, so a hairpin would make her happy for a long time. Now she only remembers those days."
"Don't you feel tired?" Anping had been quietly observing everyone and everything around him tonight. This was the first time he asked a question. He was asking the old man, and also asking the many people struggling in the secular world.
"Of course it's hard." The old man didn't say anything high-sounding like "It's not hard" or "It's what I should do," but there was no resentment in his expression. "But I still cherish her."
"She loves me, too." He touched his wife's face lovingly as he had in the past, not caring about the wrinkles on her face. He seemed to be talking to Anping, or perhaps talking to himself, "She just doesn't remember me."
When they were almost at the front of the line, the old man said goodbye to Anping: "Thank you so much for coming today, young man."
Anping stood there, watching him holding her hand and walking forward unsteadily.
"Sir!" he suddenly shouted. The old man turned around and saw the young man pointing to the beautiful hairpin on his head that was incompatible with his temperament.
"This." He curled his lips, revealing what was almost his brightest smile of the night, and said with some pride, "This is also a gift from my lover!"
The old man was stunned for a moment, then immediately laughed heartily. He gave Anping a thumbs-up and started to say something. Because of the distance, his voice was already muffled as it came through the crowd.
But Anping heard it clearly.
He said:
"I wish you a long and happy life together!"
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