Chapter 51 Modern people visit Taiji Palace and criticize Li Longji
[That's right, so many people want to sleep with our Erfeng! What's wrong with everyone sharing it in the cloud?]
[He's so handsome and capable, he should be available to everyone! Keeping a mistress in a golden house is a loss for all women!
Sharing happiness is better than enjoying it alone; a pair of jade arms from two phoenixes should be a pillow for thousands of people!
Li Shimin: ???
This is definitely a sarcastic insult to him, right?
He understood! These modern people really do have mouths filled with poison!
"No, that's not what you said!
As an emperor, I enjoy three palaces and six courtyards according to the ancestral system. It has been like this since ancient times. I have always taken concubines according to the rules to continue the descendants of my Li Tang family. What's wrong with this?"
[That's right! Saying that one has to take a concubine in order to serve the country is really too much!]
After all, there were many ways for his previous dynasty to balance the power of the aristocratic families, and it didn't require him to sell his body and become a prostitute.
[In ancient times, children were prone to premature death, especially when there was an imperial heir in their family!
What if we don’t have more children and choose the best ones? Look at Zhu Yuanzhang and Zhu Di, emperors in history who loved their queens also had harems!
Zhu Youtang was a 1v1, but he only had one son who died young, which resulted in the emperor's power falling into the hands of others after his death. The empress was later tortured by the new emperor and eventually died of depression. Her life wasn't very easy!
[The most crucial issue is this: Empress Changsun couldn't give birth to a child alone! She gave birth to three sons before choosing one to inherit the family business!]
It is really unrealistic to ask ancient emperors to have no harem. 】
[Ah, what's unrealistic about that? It's just an excuse for you men to have a harem!]
According to what you said, Li Shimin is a high-quality seed propagator, a royal stud, right?
[He sowed so many seeds, but in the end, didn’t the Tang Dynasty just give them away to his descendants for free?
Even though he had so many children, it didn't stop Li Longji and Li Heng from squandering their wealth!
Li Shimin: ???
No. Can you modern people speak more politely? This is right in front of him!
"If you guys want to argue about this, can you please go somewhere else? This is so irritating to my eyes!
Besides, Guanyinbi was a person who valued reputation, and many beauties were selected by her to enter the harem.
If I only favor her, will she be labeled a jealous and shrewd woman if word gets out? "
Li Shimin tried to get everyone to end the topic, or at least not to say anything like "working like a slave" in front of him.
However, modern people don’t care about the original author’s feelings at all, and continue to discuss endlessly whether ancient emperors could fight 1V1.
What's the point of reputation? In ancient times, people like Qin Shi Huang were constantly criticized, but now, haven't they overturned their reputations?
Being a jealous woman or a shrew sounds much better now than writing something like "Rules for Women"!
[Anyway, if my boyfriend is a rotten cucumber, can I still keep him for the New Year?
I came across one I really liked a while ago, but when I looked inside, it turned out to be encrusted with diamonds!
I immediately took him to the hospital for a physical examination. After I had a great experience, I dumped him the next day!
So you see? Even if there are diamonds in there, rotten cucumbers are still despised by us women!
Erfeng, you must remember that a man's chastity is his best dowry! The value of a virgin is far greater than a diamond!
Li Shimin:? !!
The amount of information was a bit too huge, and Li Shimin was shocked for a moment...
In fact, he didn't quite understand it at first, until Tianmu asked her about the feeling of using diamonds. Li Shimin finally understood and immediately covered his eyes and cried:
"Ah! My eyes!"
I'd pay a huge sum of money for a pair of eyes that haven't seen this line of commentary!
However, the audience still did not let him go:
"Honestly, Erfeng, this is very unfair. You have so many beauties, so your wife should also have many handsome men to serve her."
"What are you talking about? How can that be possible!"
Who dares to have eyes for Guanyinbi?
Li Shimin immediately became angry.
[Look, if you love her, you want her to be your only one. If she loves you, of course she will want her to be your only one too. If you put yourself in her shoes, love will breed possessiveness and jealousy.
You see her having a bunch of men, and you are just one of them. How do you feel? Can you still love her without reservation?
[She is your queen, the mother of your children, and your lover. These roles are actually in conflict. The key is to see which role you put first!]
Seeing this, Li Shimin fell silent. He had never thought about his relationship with Guanyinbi from this perspective.
“Ultimately, this is a matter between me and Guanyinbi. I should ask her opinion on what to choose.
No matter what you say, it cannot represent her feelings and thoughts."
[Indeed! Speaking of this, I still have to praise Erfeng. Our Erfeng really respects his wife!
This is sometimes more important than love! 】
[Yes, Empress Changsun didn't want him to read her diary. They had been living together for a long time, but he really had never opened it to read it!
There were so many emperors in ancient times, but how many couples were there that were truly memorable? Erfeng and Empress Feng are truly the best!
But think about it, this love is not perfect after all, just like a rough jade with a big flaw, it is still regrettable!
Li Shimin felt uncomfortable.
He always thought that his lifelong love with Guanyinbi would be the object of praise and envy by future generations.
He had many regrets in his life, but he had a wife and children, his wife happened to be his sweetheart, and he had many friends around him, so he thought his life was perfect.
But what about Guanyinbi? Is it the same?
The more Li Shimin thought about it, the more uncertain he became. He felt very upset. He first sighed deeply, then snorted:
"I think you modern people are just too idle.
Go and have a tour of Taiji Palace and stop bothering me!"
We should find something for these modern people to do!
Therefore, Li Shimin quickly issued an edict, requiring the Taiji Palace to be allowed to open to overseas tourists.
"Didn't the two retired emperors complain before that they were bored in the palace all day?
As a filial son and a virtuous grandson, I invited a group of common people to have fun with them.
Before, the Emperor had received the common people on the city wall when he was in Xingqing Palace. If I let the common people in directly, they will definitely be very happy. "
In short, when Li Shimin issued the decree, most of it was for the benefit of the two retired emperors.
Not only does it show that the Tang Dynasty has loving fathers and filial sons, it also enriches the national treasury. It's a win-win situation!
[Fuck, your set of tickets is actually 999! Erfeng, you are so shameless!]
[But since the tickets are so expensive, I have to think of more words to curse Li Longji!
Otherwise, wouldn’t it be a shame if I didn’t get enough scolding? 】
That's it! Take your modern-day venomous mouths and use them on Li Longji!
Why are the sayings like "serving the country like a duck" and "thousands of people tasting her red lips" all used on him?
Li Shimin expressed his dissatisfaction and demanded that everyone must experience the power of modern people's poisonous tongues together!
After arranging all this, Li Shimin was not in a hurry to go to Taiji Palace to watch the fun.
Let his two grandsons, Li Longji and Li Heng, first accept the beatings from modern people. Li Shimin then threw away these memorials that had no practical value in giving advice and went to find Guanyin Bi.
When Li Shimin returned to his bedroom, he saw Guanyinbi leaning against the window reading a book. The book should have been given by a modern man when he established the queen last time. It was called "Diary of a Woman Training a Dog".
It looked like it must be very interesting. Guanyinbi was watching it with so much interest that she didn't even notice he had returned.
"What are you looking at? What new and novel dog training methods are there these days? I want to take a look too."
Li Shimin, who was sitting next to her, suddenly spoke, which scared his wife. As if he was playing a prank on her, he took the book from his wife's hand and kissed her.
"Your Majesty, please don't look..."
Empress Zhangsun wanted to grab it, but Li Shimin had already seen it.
“A man is like a half-sensible puppy, who needs to be fed regularly, rewarded, and trained with punishments.
The essence of dog training is to give dogtail grass rewards and feedback in a timely manner so that the dog can develop a habit.
For example, if you cough twice or knock on the table three times, even if he is busy doing something else, he will immediately turn his attention back to you..."
Li Shimin: ???
Li Shimin was immediately shocked. He quickly flipped through several other books on dog training methods, only to find that what modern people were doing was not dog training at all.
They're all scolding him!
"So when you coughed twice earlier, were you really learning how to train a dog? Not, you were training me?"
Suddenly I remembered that it seemed that every time his wife was unhappy, she would knock on the table three times. Even if he was reading a memorial, he would immediately look at his wife.
Li Shimin's eyes suddenly widened!
"Erlang, what are you thinking about? I just took a look out of curiosity.
In my previous life, if I coughed or knocked on the table, wouldn't Erlang always pay attention to me immediately? "
After Empress Changsun coaxed him gently for a while, Li Shimin finally distinguished himself from the trained dog.
He immediately breathed a sigh of relief, then held her hand and asked:
"When I was reading the memorials today, I heard that several major families wanted to send beautiful women to my harem. I wanted to ask for your opinion."
"So that's what it is. It's time to select some beauties for His Majesty to enter the palace."
Guanyinbi's expression was still as gentle as always, but this time Li Shimin noticed that her hands stiffened for a moment before relaxing again.
“But when I looked at the sky curtain, I was scolded by them.
I just realized that before, I gave you all the new toys I had so that we could play together, but I never asked you what you wanted.
His wife has always been a very smart person. As expected, Guanyin Bi understood what he said. Then she sighed:
"I think this is good enough. After all, Erlang, you are the emperor, and there are many things that are beyond your control."
When she was young, she was kicked out of the house after her father died and had to live with her uncle.
At that time, she was always afraid that she would say or do something wrong and be kicked out again. After all, her uncle's house was not her home; she was just an outsider.
Until she married Erlang. Although she was also afraid at that time, her husband gave her the respect and love she deserved and gave her a new home.
Her husband was handsome and brave, and he worked hard and risked his life to earn such a huge fortune. As a result, she went from being an orphan to the most noble woman in the world.
What woman in the world would not envy her and her husband's love and respect for her?
As for the rest, she couldn't be too greedy.
Erlang was both her husband and her lord. She loved him, but she also had to respect and fear him, just like his subjects.
Li Shimin's love was passionate and unreserved, and his joy and anger were always very clear, while Empress Zhangsun's love was restrained and self-controlled.
If a person loves too much, but sees that the other person has three palaces and six courtyards, I am afraid that jealousy will grow like weeds and eventually destroy oneself.
"But now that I have the opportunity to start over, I would like to hear what you really want.
I don't want to leave any regrets with you this time."
Li Shimin held his wife in his arms, and Guanyinbi was silent for a long time, then said softly:
"Ji Lang, do you know?
In fact, when you took a concubine for the first time, I thought, if we were just an ordinary couple, without any wealth or glory, and were together for the rest of our lives, how wonderful that life would be.
But when you became emperor, I knew I shouldn't have these thoughts anymore."
After listening to this, Li Shimin felt a little sore in his eyes.
For him, family ties are no longer vulnerable. The most important person in his life is his wife, the one he trusts and loves the most.
But he never understood Guanyinbi's thoughts in his life:
"It is indeed as those people said. I am a feudal man. If they hadn't pointed it out to me, I'm afraid I would have hurt you again.
Since we have a chance to start over, do you want to choose a concubine for me, or become a fierce woman like Fang Xuanling's wife?"
Even when Fang Xuanling was in dire straits and asked for a divorce, his wife never left him. Therefore, after Fang Xuanling became prime minister, the two of them remained in harmony and devoted to each other.
But the outside world will still say that his wife is jealous, which is not a good reputation.
"Erlang, are you really going to listen to me this time?"
Guanyinbi sat up straight, her eyes shining:
"I used to think that if I lived my life in fear and trembling, and earned a good reputation, I would be content. But it was not until I died that I figured out what I really regretted.
In my previous life, Empress Zhangsun already had such fame. This time, I want to live a different life.
This time, I want to try what it feels like to be a shrew!"
Everyone taught them that women should be virtuous and not jealous, but it was not until she met and talked with these modern women and read their books that she realized this.
Only then did Empress Changsun realize that there was another way for women in the world to live.
It turns out that writing "Rules for Women" would not win her a good reputation a thousand years later.
"I also want to be like those modern ladies, free and at ease, saying whatever I want and doing whatever I want!"
When Li Shimin heard this, he hugged Guanyin and burst into tears.
"I didn't know it the whole time. I've let you down. But I won't do that again!
From now on, it will just be you and me and our child. With modern medical technology, we don't need to have too many children. We can live in harmony as a family and enjoy the happiness of family life."
Guanyinbi was also very moved when she heard this. The two of them hugged each other and cried to comfort each other. Then they looked at each other and saw how miserable they were, and they couldn't help laughing.
"Don't worry, I won't let those people from the previous dynasty scold you.
This is my decision, and I will naturally bear the responsibility."
[Ahhhhh! I'm practically biting my fingers and screaming as I crawl!]
Hurry up and kill this dog of mine to add to Erfeng and the others’ betrothal gifts!]
[Er Feng is like this, he has always been spreading his wife's good reputation to others.
Er Feng takes all the blame for the young couple, what a real man! This is true love!
[Speaking of Fang Xuanling's wife, she gouged out one of her eyes just to accompany him through hard times. If Fang Xuanling still doesn't listen to her advice and takes a concubine, that would be really excessive!]
"What do you mean by gouging out one of your own eyes?"
Only then did Li Shimin realize that he had made Fang Xuanling's wife jealous, and that when Fang Xuanling was demoted and exiled by Emperor Yang of Sui, his wife had gouged out her eyes to show her determination.
"No, this unofficial history is too unreliable, isn't it?
Why should I interfere in other people's family affairs and make things difficult for the ladies?
How did it get passed down? You believe it now?"
[Ah, bah! I knew that the Biographies of Female Virtues written by people in the Song Dynasty were nothing good!
I knew it, the conditions in ancient times were so harsh, wouldn’t people get infected and die if their eyes were dug out?
Moreover, it is something that any normal person can do with just a word, so why do you have to hurt yourself?
What kind of psychopathic, sensual maniac was it who wrote "Biographies of Heroic Women" in the Song Dynasty?
[We believe a lot of unofficial history, such as the diversity of your harem, which includes both your sister-in-law and your brother's wife!
And you are so tolerant and generous that you even allow your sister-in-law to bring other people's children to live in your harem!
Li Shimin: ???
What the hell is going on here! Which historian would slander his innocence like this?
Before Li Shimin could get angry and ask clearly, news came from Taiji Palace that Li Longji had fainted from anger.
There was a commotion over there, and the overseas people were about to fight with the imperial guards. They asked him how to deal with it.
"Did you faint?"
Is there such a good thing?
The corners of Li Shimin's mouth were harder to suppress than AK. Guanyinbi coughed twice beside him, and he quickly pretended to be a filial grandson and immediately took Guanyinbi's hand to watch the fun!
He must take a look at the poisonous mouths of modern people!
A quarter of an hour ago in Taiji Palace, Li Longji and Li Heng were very surprised to learn that Li Shimin actually allowed people outside the palace to enter.
What does Li Shimin mean by this?
Before, Li Longji was in Xingqing Palace and just met with a group of people on the city wall, but it made Li Heng so fearful.
Isn’t Li Shimin afraid that public opinion will turn to their side again?
But in short, he had the opportunity to meet with the people again and enjoy their love as before. The two emperors were of course very happy.
Li Longji felt very good about himself, so he was the first to step out of the palace, wanting to enjoy the praise and support of the people.
Li Longji opened his arms waiting for cheers and kneeling, but what he got was a beating of rotten eggs from everyone.
"Come and throw away the useless rotten cabbage at home! Put the kitchen waste and these two pieces of garbage back in their place!"
Don’t let these two end up in the recycling bin…”
"How dare you come out and wait for us to greet you? You're so ugly, if it weren't for Yang Yuhuan, who would know you?
The biggest prodigal son of the Tang Dynasty who left his name in history books by committing adultery!
You're using the Zhenguan legacy as fuel to barbecue An Lushan's own son. I think you have a straight line from your rectum to your brain!"
"Whenever you write a book called 'A Crash Course on the Destruction of the Tang Dynasty: How to Squander the Family Legacy', it will definitely be a bestseller!
Maweipo suggests that you write "The Complete Guide for Elderly Scammers to Pass the Buck"!
Sleeping with your daughter-in-law is your ideal love, you were forced to go to Mawei Slope, and the country's destruction is the fault of treacherous ministers, right?
What kind of unrecognizable maggot are you? I feel sick just by looking at you!"
"But don't worry, you're the center of the lineup for the tyrant king who ruined the country. You will definitely be remembered in history!"
"You, you, you are rebelling, all of you are rebelling, kick you out now!"
When had Li Longji ever been insulted like this? Even at Mawei Slope, no one dared to scold him like this!
He was so excited that he fainted before he could finish his words.
Li Heng looked at his father at this time and felt a little gloating, but he quickly pretended to be nervous and ordered people to kick these people out.
"Oh my, I almost forgot about you! A loving father and a filial son, mixing their ashes with rice, do you really think we can't see it?
Are you some new hybrid? When you were the crown prince, you were as timid as a Chihuahua, and when you were the emperor, you were as crazy as a Tibetan mastiff. You're worried that your father won't be able to ruin the Tang Dynasty family business, so you want to do whatever you want, right?
"On the one hand, you let Guo Ziyi and the people serve as your blood bag, while on the other hand, you kneel down and lick Li Fuguo and Yu Chaoen like a lickspittle.
An Lushan's height is nothing more than athlete's foot. I think you're the one with the zombie virus in your brain! I suggest you be listed as the number one person responsible for destroying intangible cultural heritage!
"The Emperor has done such a thing and you still feel good about yourself? You are really something!
So you exhausted the national strength and exchanged it for air and think that this is a revival?
Bah! Even a fool wouldn't take it seriously!
What brand of Empire Crusher do you have? I'll buy one and use it to crush my old furniture!"
"Someone, bring the rotten eggs! Three, two, one, start dropping them!"
Li Shimin watched secretly from a distance, covering his mouth and pounding the pillar madly to stifle his laughter.
Modern people have really poisonous mouths, but when they are scolding others, it sounds really nice!
This is so cool!
Sometimes modern people are simply irreplaceable. After all, the people of the Tang Dynasty are very particular about their speech. Even when they curse, they use a sarcastic tone. They are totally different from the chattering modern people. Li Heng couldn't even get a word in!
"I'm so angry, where are the Imperial Guards?
Kill all these people, kill them all!"
Li Heng was in a state of disarray at this time and drew his sword to chop someone. Li Shimin then hurriedly led his men forward.
He raised his hand to stop the angry curses of the modern people, and then said:
"What's going on? You overseas people, I let you come here for tourism, how can you be violent towards the emperor? You are so uneducated!
Drag them all out! If you overseas people dare to commit crimes again, I will not show mercy!
There will be a next time?
Li Heng glared at Li Shimin at this time, wanting to accuse his son to his face of being so unfilial and openly making trouble for them.
However, when modern people saw Li Shimin, they all surrounded him and shouted, asking for handshakes and autographs. Everyone was busy and no one paid any attention to him.
"Humph! Didn't I just throw a rotten cabbage at you?
I haven't even started yet and you're so stingy, you deserve it when your ancestors come to beat you up!"
The overseas man was still saying this when he was taken away, and Li Heng was suddenly shocked.
What ancestors? Where did they come from?
However, before Li Heng could ask clearly, Li Shimin had already pretended to be very busy, asked the imperial guards to deal with the debris left by the overseas people, and then hurried away.
"No, he is the emperor in name only, so don't do anything!
Leave the fighting to me, next time just scold me!"
Li Shimin was in a good mood after hearing this. Netizens on Tianmu said that it was worth spending the 999 package tour as you can even curse people.
I'm writing a thesis and haven't even finished researching the palace styles of the Tang Dynasty yet, and you've dragged me out. What should I do with my thesis?
[I suggest that next time you write a 10,000-word essay criticizing Li Longji, then personally read it aloud day and night in the Taiji Palace using a loudspeaker!]
These modern people can come up with all kinds of clever ideas!
Li Shimin was happily chatting with his online friend on Tianmu when he suddenly heard that someone from the Lu family of Fanyang wanted to see him.
Soon he saw the man named Lu Qi, who looked disheveled, with disheveled hair and tattered clothes. It seemed that he had not changed his clothes during the journey.
Li Shimin was a little surprised, and when Lu Qi saw him, he knelt down and cried, saying:
“Saint, please make a decision for our Lu family!
That Wen Yuping, relying on the imperial sword, levied heavy taxes and levied heavy fines in Fanyang, killing anyone she saw, and even dared to say it was His Majesty's will!
She also intercepted our messenger who came to the palace to file a complaint, preventing us from delivering the news from Fan Yang to the capital!
Recently, she has gone even further and even sent people to set fire to houses. She has made life miserable for the people of Fanyang. She even broke into my Fan family and almost killed our entire Lu family over a disagreement.
I beg Your Majesty to execute his entire clan by lingchi, otherwise it will not be enough to appease the anger of Fanyang!"
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