Chapter 40 Shen Liangdi was burned to ashes...
Winter weather is dry, and if a candle is accidentally knocked over, it can easily start a fire. Moreover, Shen Mi had deliberately poured hair oil on the curtains, so when the tinderbox was thrown up, the flames met the soft silk that had been splashed with hair oil, and the flames suddenly shot up.
The fire started on the dressing case in front of her and then spread little by little.
Cuiwei, carrying the gold and silver valuables she had already packed, anxiously urged her from the side, "Miss, let's hurry up and go through that path while no one is paying attention."
Shen Mi gently shook her head, "Wait a little longer, the fire isn't big enough yet."
If the fire wasn't big enough, it wouldn't be enough to block everyone's view. She wasn't sure how many people Gu Zhan had arranged in front of the Qingluan Palace. She was putting herself in a do-or-die situation. This was her only chance to fake her death in the fire, and she had to make sure it was foolproof.
After she woke up, she intended to dismiss the servants before setting the fire, but there was no one around except Cuiwei.
After all, it was only by jumping into the well that Gu Zhan remembered that there was a "cold palace" in the Eastern Palace, where a woman named Shen Mi was imprisoned. If she hadn't done this, Gu Zhan would probably have kept her locked up for life.
Gu Zhan's coldness was clear even to the servants in the Eastern Palace. It seemed that everyone knew that His Highness the Crown Prince only opened the gates of Qingluan Palace and summoned Imperial Physician Cheng from the palace because he didn't want Shen Shi to die and didn't want to have trouble explaining himself to the Emperor and the Empress. Once Shen Shi recovered, Qingluan Palace would become a cold palace again, so they didn't need to deliberately try to please Shen Mi.
Therefore, even the charcoal temporarily lit in the palace was the lowest grade and cheapest ash charcoal, rather than the silver wire charcoal that Shen Mi, as the Crown Prince's concubine, should have been offered.
But this is good, it makes it easier for her to escape.
Looking at the scene in the hall, Shen Mi couldn't help but smile self-deprecatingly.
She looked up and stroked the various treasures in the dressing case before her. Among them was a luminous pearl, which, if she remembered correctly, was one of the gifts Gu Zhan had given her for her birthday last year.
Although nearly three months had passed since her miscarriage, she still frequently dreamed of her unborn child. In her dreams, the child seemed to be covered in blood, calling out to her "mother" and saying that he was in pain.
Therefore, she often woke up in the middle of the night, and when she saw the pitch-black darkness inside the tent, she couldn't help but cry out.
However, she could not bear the sight of candlelight when she slept since childhood. If there was candlelight, the light would be too bright for her to see, and she would find it difficult to sleep. This put the palace staff in a difficult position.
If the light is off, she'll wake up from nightmares in fear; if the light is on, she won't be able to sleep.
On her birthday, Gu Zhan found her this luminous pearl.
The light from the luminous pearl was soft and not dazzling, yet it was enough to illuminate the small corner of the bed curtains, so that she wouldn't be too afraid when she woke up in the middle of the night, and she was able to sleep better afterward.
By that calculation, it seems her birthday is just a few days away.
However, he probably won't be spending his birthday at the Eastern Palace this year.
Shen Mi removed her hand from the luminous pearl and saw her own face in the bronze mirror.
Her face was pale, her lips were almost bloodless, and her almond-shaped eyes no longer held their former brightness and radiance, only weariness and a hint of relief.
Her health was not good to begin with. She fell seriously ill shortly after entering the Eastern Palace. Later, when the Princess Consort of Wei became pregnant, the Empress specially invited Imperial Physician Liu from the palace to help her recuperate so that she could have a child with Gu Zhan as soon as possible. She drank bowl after bowl of medicinal soup, which should have been the best period of her health.
Later, she experienced the "false pregnancy" scandal and actually became pregnant with Gu Zhan's child. However, not long after, the child died in Taiye Pond, and she was devastated. Although she slowly recovered, she never really recovered much. At the beginning of the year, she filed for divorce and was then confined to Qingluan Palace by Gu Zhan under the pretext of recuperating. Her body also became thinner and thinner day by day.
It was also in front of this bronze mirror that Gu Zhan held her in his arms, imitating the legendary tales between emperors and empresses, and picked up a brush to draw her eyebrows.
At that time, she felt that Gu Zhan's hands were unsteady and he would draw the eyebrows outside the lines, so she had to fix them herself every time. Gu Zhan said that he would get it after practicing a few more times. She couldn't persuade Gu Zhan at the time, and she was secretly pleased with him, so she didn't refuse. Gu Zhan's eyebrow drawing skills really did get better and better. Later on, his hands were even more steady than hers.
Recalling these past events, a sour feeling welled up in Shen Mi's throat, and tears streamed down her face uncontrollably.
It wasn't that she had no feelings for Gu Zhan; she had truly regarded him as her husband. Yet, their relationship deteriorated to this point in just two years.
Gu Zhan's kindness towards her has always been merely a fleeting whim, a momentary impulse when he wanted to raise an obedient sparrow.
Rather than saying that she truly saw what a selfish and cold-blooded person Gu Zhan was, it would be more accurate to say that they were never meant to be together from the beginning; they were simply bound together by an imperial decree.
Seeing her tears, Cuiwei gently tugged at her sleeve and asked, "Why are you crying, Miss? Did something sad happen to you again?"
Shen Mi refused to admit it and shook her head. "It's just the smoke from the fire that stung my eyes." She casually covered the mirror with the jacket she had taken off and was hanging on the clothes rack. She didn't want to look at this mirror anymore and think about Gu Zhan.
All of the past is no longer important.
She hoped that the fire would burn to death Consort Shen, who had once been trapped in the Eastern Palace, and also burn away all the past between her and Gu Zhan, preferably burning it all to ashes so that she would never have to think about it again in her life.
When Gu Zhan imprisoned her, he ordered all sharp objects in her palace to be removed, and the bowls and chopsticks used to serve her food were replaced with silver utensils, all so that she wouldn't even have the chance to commit suicide.
But he probably never imagined that she would resort to such an extreme method as setting the entire Azure Phoenix Palace on fire to "seek death."
Because dying in a fire is far more painful than cutting one's wrists, hanging oneself, or taking poison.
The fire spread slowly along the curtains, gradually scorching the beautiful, exquisite, and expensive Hangzhou satin curtains black. From the edges with tassels to the brocade on them, everything changed from vibrant colors to an ugly gray-black.
Just like her marriage with Gu Zhan, which was unwilling from the beginning, it ultimately ended in this fire.
Shen Mi suddenly remembered what day it was, which seemed very important, but as she watched the fire spread little by little to achieve the effect she wanted, she no longer cared about it. She was leaving anyway, so the day didn't matter anymore.
The entire bedchamber was illuminated by the fire. Shen Mi grabbed Cuiwei's hand and decisively said, "Run!"
As Cuiwei ran outside, she shouted, "Fire! Fire!"
As expected, chaos erupted not far away. There didn't seem to be many people guarding outside the Qingluan Palace. After hearing this, they saw the palace engulfed in flames. Some people were carrying water, while others were running around calling for help. No one noticed that in the dark night, two slender figures, disguised as palace servants calling for help, escaped from the Qingluan Palace and fled along the path.
A fierce wind rushed behind her, but despite her thin clothes, Shen Mi didn't feel cold. The fire in her heart sustained her as she kept running forward.
The place Shen Mi left was the path hidden by weeds that Cuiwei had originally discovered in the garden.
The two pushed aside the weeds and entered the narrow path that required bending over to pass.
Shen Mi dared not linger for even a moment, fearing that if she did, the palace servants or Gu Zhan might discover something amiss and drag her back to that dark and gloomy palace.
Finally, the view suddenly became clear.
There are no high palace walls, only the clear moonlight.
As agreed earlier, Su Xingjian had arranged a discreet carriage to wait for her there. Seeing her running out in the wind, he quickly came to greet her.
Why are you dressed so lightly?
"Changing into palace servants' clothes will make it easier to escape," Shen Mi said, still breathing lightly.
Su Xingjian frowned slightly, then casually tore off his own cloak and draped it over Shen Mi.
Shen Mi was taken aback, and looked up at Su Xingjian in surprise, her eyes slightly moist: "Thank you, Master Su."
After all, as a friend, Su Xingjian had helped her far too much.
Su Xingjian didn't look at her, but looked away and turned to the side: "There's no time to lose. While this has just happened, take this carriage and get out of the city quickly. I've already made arrangements along the way, so no one will ask any questions." As he helped Chen Mi into the carriage, he said, "Traveling by land in a carriage is too risky. After leaving Bianjing city gates, the carriage will take you to the Bian River. Tonight, there will be a fleet of boats heading south along the canal. Just get on the boat, give my name, and someone will arrange everything for you. Travel by boat south along the canal, and after arriving in Yangzhou, transfer to a carriage. It will only take a few hours to get to Runzhou, where you want to go."
He spoke quickly, but Shen Mi remembered every word he said.
Actually, she originally wanted to go to Yanzhou, not Runzhou. She wanted to go back to Yanzhou, to the place where the spirits of her parents and brothers were. But Su Xingjian told her that war had broken out in the north, and Yanzhou was now the first line of defense, being held tightly and could be breached at any time. Those who came south from Yanzhou were mostly refugees. It was winter now, and the further north they went, the heavier the snow and the more difficult the road became. It was far too dangerous for her and Cuiwei.
At that time, Su Xingjian suggested that she and Cuiwei could go to Yangzhou, where he was about to take up his post, but Shen Mi still chose Runzhou, which is adjacent to Yangzhou. Her mother was from Runzhou, and she had never been to Runzhou.
As she was about to leave in the carriage, Su Xingjian lifted the curtain from the outside, hesitated for a moment, and said, "I will probably spend the New Year in Bianjing and then go to Yangzhou to take up my post. Yangzhou is a good place. If you want to stay in Yangzhou for a while, I will have someone arrange it."
Shen Mi pursed her lips. "I am already deeply indebted to Su Zhanshi for helping me escape in this way. I dare not trouble Su Zhanshi with such trivial matters again."
Su Xingjian smiled faintly. "Okay, take care on your journey."
Shen Mi nodded without saying a word, then lowered the curtain from the inside and left Bianjing in her carriage.
The Eastern Palace was in chaos, with palace servants rushing around and more and more gathering in the direction of the Azure Phoenix Palace.
When Shen Mi left, she locked the door of Qingluan Palace from the inside. They escaped by jumping out of the back window because they were worried that if the palace servants rushed into the palace too early and found no one inside, it would arouse Gu Zhan's suspicion.
As expected, all the palace servants poured water inside, but the fire was too big, and fetching water from outside was just a drop in the ocean.
Gu Zhan was not in the East Palace. Upon hearing the news, Sun Cheng rushed to Qingluan Palace, only to find that there were people splashing water but no one going in. He then grabbed a eunuch and asked, "Where is Consort Shen? Has she been rescued?"
The eunuch stammered and remained silent.
Sun Cheng sensed something was wrong, "Speak!"
The eunuch then said, "Consort Shen locked the door from the inside, and we can't open it. Besides, the fire is too big right now, and we can't break in at all. We can only... we can only put out the fire first..."
Sun Cheng shoved the eunuch aside, "Useless! Saving lives is the priority. Go and call for help. You must rescue Consort Shen!"
The eunuch ran away in a panic.
Gu Zhan stepped down from the carriage, carrying a zither in his arms. As soon as he entered the gate of the East Palace, he realized something was wrong. He grabbed a palace maid who was running towards the backyard and asked, "What's the rush?"
The palace maid answered tremblingly, "Your Highness, there's a fire! I'm in a hurry to put it out."
Gu Zhan's breath hitched. "Where is the fire going?"
The palace maid lowered her head, not daring to look at Gu Zhan: "Qingluan Palace."
The zither that Gu Zhan was holding fell to the ground. Without bothering to pick it up, he ran towards the direction of Qingluan Palace without hesitation.
No one dared to stop him along the way, but the more he tried to run faster, the weaker his legs became, and the slower he went.
How could the Qingluan Palace be on fire?
Is Shen Mi alright?
Were they rescued?
Countless questions welled up in Gu Zhan's mind; he seemed to have never felt so helpless before.
The fire in Qingluan Palace was probably really big, so big that Gu Zhan could feel the heat even when he was just at the moon gate at the entrance of Qingluan Palace, or even through the wall and the courtyard.
He saw Sun Cheng standing to the side and asked directly, "Where's Shen Mi?"
"Consort Shen, Consort Shen is locked inside." Sun Cheng did not dare to face Gu Zhan's anger directly.
Gu Zhan looked inside. "Locked inside? Who locked her in there?"
Sun Cheng lowered his head and said, "Shen Liangdi locked it from the inside herself. By the time it was discovered, the fire had already spread completely."
Gu Zhan frowned and subconsciously tried to go inside, but was stopped by Sun Cheng.
"Your Highness, Your Highness, you are of noble birth and must not take such a risk!"
Gu Zhan shoved Sun Cheng away, "Let go!"
However, the moment he finished speaking, the tall palace in front of him collapsed with a crash.
The main beam supporting the roof inside collapsed.
Gu Zhan stood there stunned for a moment.
The roof beams collapsed, and more and more people gathered. The fire was quickly extinguished. The palace servants panicked and kicked open the doors, which were almost completely burned, to search inside.
The fire burned for far too long; the Qingluan Palace was now charred black, with roof beams collapsed onto the ground and the entire place a mess.
Everyone knew that those inside had little chance of survival.
A palace servant came out and reported to Gu Zhan: "Your Highness, the inside... the inside has been burned to ashes. We haven't found any trace of Consort Shen. It's estimated that..."
He dared not continue.
Gu Zhan understood what he meant: Shen Mi had been burned to ashes.
He forced himself to calm down and coldly ordered, "I don't believe you. Go find him. I want to see him alive or dead."
The palace servants nodded repeatedly, not daring to offend Gu Zhan at this critical juncture.
When Gu Zhan saw the palace servants searching, a sense of fear and panic rose in his heart.
He turned to Sun Cheng and asked, "Haven't we heard any cries for help from inside all this time?"
Sun Cheng dared not answer.
Then a palace maid ran out carrying a bracelet and handed it to Gu Zhan.
Gu Zhan would recognize it; it was the bracelet he had once given to Shen Mi. He had already vaguely guessed the outcome, but he still couldn't quite believe it: "Where did you find it?"
"It was a severed arm, hanging from a severed arm that had been pulled from under the roof beam. But the severed arm was just bone; it crumbled to dust at the slightest touch. All we found was this jade bracelet."
When Gu Zhan took the jade bracelet, his fingertips were trembling.
He would never know that the severed arm was sent to Su Xingjian by Shen Mi in advance, asking him to put it in a box and send it in. Shen Mi then took a jade bracelet from her dressing case, put it on with her eyes closed, and left the box open and threw it on the ground as a disguise.
The body is too obvious to be found and brought in in advance, but a severed arm is still possible.
The palace servants said, "The fire has been burning for too long; I'm afraid we can no longer find Consort Shen's body."
Gu Zhan held the jade bracelet in his hands, his expression one of loss and dejection.
In that instant, he could not hear any sound, nor could he hear anyone's voice. He could only see palace servants gathered together, cleaning up the mess in the Qingluan Palace.
The woman's voice rang in my ears.
On her wedding night, when he lifted her veil, the woman looked up and timidly called him "Your Highness."
Later, when she brought him meals and sachets, she tentatively addressed him as "Your Highness".
In bed, she hummed softly, calling him "Your Highness";
When she woke up after losing her child, she buried her face in his shoulder and cried, calling him "Your Highness" in a tearful voice.
All the voices, when gathered together, ultimately boiled down to one desperate phrase—Gu Zhan.
She said, "Gu Zhan, I hate you."
She said, "Are you only satisfied when you've driven me to my death?"
He couldn't believe she was going to die, but she still slit her wrists in front of him. So he ordered all sharp objects in her bedchamber to be taken away, but she still chose to leave him in this way.
He still couldn't understand why.
What exactly does Shen Mi want?
Wasn't he loving her enough? He gave her titles, wealth, jewelry, and status, and tolerated her repeated disobedience, yet she said he didn't understand what love was at all.
Snowflakes slowly began to fall from the sky, quickly covering his hair, his shoulders, and his entire body.
Gu Zhan didn't remember how he got back to the Hall of Diligent Governance. He only remembered Sun Cheng advising him to take it easy, saying that Shen Mi had been burned inside and her ashes were no longer available.
He didn't believe it, nor did he want to believe it, yet he couldn't help but believe it.
When he returned to the Hall of Diligent Governance, the zither he had thrown on the ground had already been returned to the table in the hall by the palace servants.
This zither, Fuyun, was a gift he had given to Shen Mi. Shen Mi cut the strings with scissors, so he asked someone to take it to a zither shop for repair. However, the shopkeeper said that the strings were made of a special material and there were no ready-made ones available, so they would need to be made first. He thought there was no rush, so he asked the craftsman to repair it properly. Finally, today, when they said the zither was repaired, he went to pick it up himself. But when he returned, he heard the news that Shen Mi had committed suicide by setting herself on fire.
Upon hearing the news of Shen Mi falling into the well today, he immediately ordered the palace gates to be opened and Shen Mi to be rescued from the well. He also summoned Cheng Lin from the palace.
He was angry when he thought of Shen Mi's disobedient words. He didn't want to see Shen Mi directly, but told someone to keep an eye on her and wait until she woke up. However, he couldn't help himself and went to Qingluan Palace.
When he arrived at Qingluan Palace, Shen Mi was still unconscious. Cheng Lin said that she had been rescued in time and her life was not in danger. However, she was seriously ill and too thin, so she could easily fall into a coma. He told him not to worry.
But how could he not worry when he looked at the woman lying on the couch, almost emaciated?
He couldn't understand how much Shen Mi hated him that she would want to end her life by jumping into a well.
He checked Shen Mi's breath and found that although she was breathing, her breath was so weak and even cold, with no warmth. He turned his head and realized that there was no charcoal brazier in the hall, so he ordered someone to light one.
Looking at Shen Mi's sickly face, he thought that as long as she was willing to wake up and say a word to him, he would not hold a grudge against the past. When the New Year came, he would formally submit a petition to welcome Shen Mi as the Crown Prince's principal wife, and they would live a good life together for the rest of their lives.
It was at this moment that he remembered that the zither should have been repaired. He hadn't had anyone pick it up for the past few days, and he wanted to retrieve it himself so that he could give it back to Shen Mi when she woke up.
The strings are fixed, and their relationship should be rekindled.
A subtle, persistent pain welled up in Gu Zhan's heart. He pressed his temples, trying to stop himself from looking at the zither, and asked Sun Cheng, "After I left, who was the last person she saw?"
Sun Cheng replied, "Finally, it should be Physician Cheng who delivers the medicine to Consort Shen."
Gu Zhan paused for a moment, then said, "Call Cheng Lin here."
Not long after, Cheng Lin was summoned from the inner palace to the eastern palace.
Gu Zhan looked up at Cheng Lin, "After I left, Shen Mi woke up, didn't she?"
Cheng Lin nodded.
What did she say to you?
Cheng Lin said, "After Consort Shen woke up, she only asked me, 'Where is His Highness?' I did not know His Highness's whereabouts and did not dare to answer. Then Consort Shen said that was enough and dismissed me."
Upon hearing this, Gu Zhan frowned, almost unable to believe Cheng Lin's words.
He used the last bit of composure he had before finally letting Cheng Lin leave.
When Shen Mi woke up, the first thing she asked was where he was, but he wasn't there.
If he hadn't gone to retrieve the zither then, or if he had retrieved it a few days earlier when it was repaired, and then sat beside Shen Mi and watched her wake up, would the subsequent events have been avoided?
The palace servants said that Shen Mi locked the door from the inside herself and personally set the curtains on fire, indicating that she was determined to die.
But if he hadn't left, and after Shen Mi woke up, he had held her in his arms and gently coaxed her as he always had, wouldn't things have been different?
Otherwise, she wouldn't have died filled with despair.
Because he knew that Shen Mi was the easiest person to coax.
In the end, is she blaming him and resenting him for doing this?
Two years ago today was clearly their wedding day. Shen Mi couldn't possibly forget, but she still chose today, first throwing herself into the well and then setting it on fire.
Perhaps I shouldn't have imprisoned her in the first place, and I shouldn't have said those things.
She once said that when the strings of a zither break, so does the bond between us. Now the zither is repaired, but she is no longer alive.
Looking at that instrument, he couldn't quite describe his feelings—whether it was grief or anger.
He raised his hand and snapped the pen in half. The broken wood cut his hand, drawing blood instantly.
Sun Cheng tried to come up and summon Cheng Lin, but Cheng Lin shouted at him, "No one is allowed to come near tonight."
The palace servants filed out one after another, not daring to utter a sound.
Gu Zhan didn't bandage his hand wound, and slowly moved towards the collapsed Qingluan Palace, forbidding anyone from following him.
The snow tonight is quite heavy, covering the ruins of the Qingluan Palace.
Nothing was left in the hall, except for the luminous pearl.
He recalled countless nights when Shen Mi would wake up from nightmares and cry in his arms.
He placed the luminous pearl in his palm and casually sat on the steps outside.
The pearl in her palm, clear and bright, was like her eyes.
But he didn't even get to see Shen Mi one last time.
He sat in the snow all night, getting soaked all night, but didn't feel the slightest bit of cold.
The next day, news of Shen Mi's death in the fire reached the palace. The Emperor ordered a grand funeral, and Gu Zhan requested that her body be kept in state for seven days with the rites due to a Crown Princess, which the Emperor granted.
People coming and going were all there to offer their condolences, and Gu Zhan had no heart to deal with them.
Su Xingjian, who is still considered a subject of the Crown Prince, also appeared at Shen Mi's mourning hall.
Seeing Gu Zhan, who looked so dejected overnight, he had mixed feelings, but could only say, "I hope Your Highness will take care of yourself and accept this change."
Gu Zhan nodded, then turned his head away and coughed softly.
He, who had always been in good health, suddenly fell seriously ill. He refused to take any medicine and just sat on the steps at the entrance of Qingluan Palace without saying a word. The palace servants did not dare to persuade him. He remained ill until the day of Shen Mi's "funeral".
Shen Mi was burned to ashes, and the so-called funeral was nothing more than an empty coffin containing her belongings that could still be found in the Qingluan Palace. Gu Zhan also put the Fuyun sword inside.
He sat in the Hall of Diligent Governance, turned his head and asked Sun Cheng, "Is today the 10th of the 11th month?"
"Back to Your Highness, the thirteenth day of the winter month."
Gu Zhan paused, his pen still in his hand, and murmured, "The thirteenth of the eleventh lunar month is her birthday."
It was also the seventh day after her death.
On the Xuan paper in his hand was the epitaph he wrote for Shen Mi: "My wife, Zhi Niang, was gentle and quiet, skilled in calligraphy and zither. We were husband and wife for two years, and our relationship was loving and harmonious."
As for that last sentence, he didn't know if it counted as self-deception.
If there is an afterlife, I hope he will not be born into the heavenly family, so that he can be an ordinary couple with Shen Mi.
They already have a son and a daughter, and Shen Mi probably can't bear to part with them.
Now, I can only keep my eyes open all night long to repay a lifetime of unfulfilled dreams.
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The author's note: The last line is from Yuan Zhen's "Thoughts of Separation," which can also be considered a poem mourning the deceased.
Also, it was so laggy today, it took ten minutes to get this posted. I tried countless devices, sob sob sob, please forgive me [pity][pity]
Then began Gu Gou's long and arduous journey to win back his wife [starry-eyed][starry-eyed]
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