Chapter 459 Chocolate-flavored shit and shit-flavored chocolate are not multiple-choice questions
Monday, December 30th.
"According to unofficial historical records, Cao Cao's statement 'If I had a son, I'd want him to be like Sun Zhongmou' wasn't a compliment to Sun Quan. It actually meant 'I'd definitely raise a Sun Quan,' and was a criticism of him."
"Tsk, there's nothing wrong with that translation. But if it were you, I'd say a son should be like Bai Bufan!"
"A dragon gives birth to nine sons, each one is different. Bufan gave birth to a son with two rows of heads. To me, he is still the best."
Lin Li, who had just entered the classroom and heard these words, found it difficult to hold back.
The extraordinary racial advantage is still too strong.
It’s true.
Two rows vs. two, the advantage is mine!
But if you really count, Baowei has a greater advantage. After all, dogs usually only have 8-12 breasts, but pigs are basically in the range of 12-18.
"Why are you staring at my chest? It's a bit scary, Lin Li!" Sensing someone's gaze, Zhou Baowei curled up into a ball and looked at the other person vigilantly.
"Bao, what's your blood sugar level?"
"Why are you asking that?"
"I want to know if the milk you produce in the future will be sweet."
"...Lin Li, I think canned herring mixed with ox stomach soup is a rather bland food in your eyes."
People will laugh when they are extremely speechless. After a brief silence, Zhou Baowei raised his thumb with difficulty and made his comment.
This is the first time I admire someone in terms of eating.
Lin Licai is a real foodie and knows how to eat.
Returning to his seat and listening to the gossip in the back row, Lin Li looked at the blue beads on his wrist.
New products refreshed this morning.
[Water-repellent beads: Hold them in your mouth, you can breathe in water and move around as if walking on flat ground.
When carried on the body, this effect will slowly transfer to the carrier. After the transfer is complete, the water-repellent bead will turn into an ordinary bead.
The price was not too expensive, 150 system currencies per piece. After thinking about it, Lin Li decided to buy one.
After testing it, when he put the "Water-Repellent Beads" in his mouth, Lin Li found that the water no longer felt like "water", but another kind of air. Whether he opened his eyes or breathed, he did not feel any discomfort. The oppressive feeling of the water pressure also completely disappeared, and his vision was not obstructed by the water waves at all.
I feel like it should still be useful in some scenarios, so it's worth buying.
After the morning self-study, there will be a class meeting on Monday.
The topic of discussion in the class meeting is naturally tonight’s New Year’s Eve party and tomorrow’s garden party.
The garden party is mainly about material arrangements.
After all, whether it is the ice cubes and fruits needed to make smoothies tomorrow, or the raw materials and soup ingredients for oden, most of them are not convenient to be placed in the classroom in advance and need to be brought in that morning.
This important task naturally fell on Xue Jian, the only class teacher, and Lin Li, the only day student.
Xue Jian was responsible for the major portion using his own car, while Lin Li was responsible for the minor portion and some subsequent supplements.
When teachers and students work together, they can accomplish anything!
Garden party, look carefully, this is the passionate friendship and twilight bond between me, Lin Li, and Lao Jiantou! !
"After the third class in the afternoon, I will come over to distribute mobile phones to everyone, and then wait for the school's broadcast notification, and follow the instructions to line up for exercise and go to the playground. The chair areas have been divided." Xue Jian continued.
A party is different from a sports meet. Everyone needs a chair to sit on, but there are not enough chairs in the art building, so everyone needs to move their own chair to the playground.
If all classes bring their chairs and go to the playground together, it will inevitably be too crowded, so the school will use radio to divert and direct the flow of students.
"There's something I want to mention to everyone about cell phones."
"The school allowed everyone to bring their phones this time with good intentions. We wanted everyone to better participate in the New Year's Day activities, take photos, and record these youthful moments so that they can remember these days later. We definitely don't allow everyone to come to school to play games. Everyone must understand this!"
"I must emphasize this: tomorrow afternoon during the grade assembly, if any of you are caught playing games on your phone, your phone will be confiscated. Don't come to me and beg for mercy, saying you'll never play games again.
According to school rules, you can only collect your belongings at the end of the semester. I won't collect them for you in advance."
"Of course, we all understand how you feel. So, at the party, at the garden party, and tonight in the dormitory, as long as you aren't blatantly playing games, most of our teachers will try to be understanding and treat it as a special case, turning a blind eye."
"But, I have to say but,"
"If you're unlucky and happen to encounter a particularly strict teacher from another class or grade on duty or patrol, and they see you playing games and confiscate your phone according to the regulations, then you really only have yourself to blame.
The system is the system. You can't assume you shouldn't be involved just because other teachers don't. Let me be frank: when the time comes, we'll take it away. No one can be blamed. You all know what's going on, so make your own decisions."
Faced with Xue Jian's emphasis on this, although everyone did not care in their hearts, naturally no one would refute it, and they maintained a quiet listening attitude.
"I understand your hint. Teacher, you're ugly, that's the first thing to say," Lin Li's voice suddenly appeared from the corner. "Then I'm handsome, that's the second thing to say: Don't worry, we will abide by it."
The class paused for a moment, then began to burst into suppressed laughter.
Xue Jian: "(へ╬)!"
Who the hell taught you to punctuate like that!
Xue Jian smiled and said, "Lin Li, stand upside down and listen to the class meeting."
Lin Li: “?”
Have you skipped the standing penalty yet?
…
More than seven hours had passed since Lin Li's handstand.
"bell--"
As everyone was looking forward to it, the bell rang, marking the end of the last class in the afternoon, and everyone instantly relaxed.
"Lin Li, the history teacher just said that the Tang Dynasty is the most valuable dynasty in history. I don't agree with that."
Bai Bufan looked towards the door, his legs shaking constantly, expecting Xue Jian to appear. At the same time, he had nothing to do, so he talked to Lin Li, who was arrogantly playing with his mobile phone.
"Oh, what do you think it is?" Lin Li glanced at Bai Bufan, curious about what he was going to say.
"I think the Song Dynasty is the dynasty with the highest value."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Lin Li cursed with a smile. "Yue Fei feels really bad."
"I don't understand what you are saying. I'm talking about Song Dynasty poetry. I think poetry is better than poetry and has more value." Bai Bufan answered seriously.
"You'd better." Lin Li raised his middle finger, but then sighed: "Bufan, why do only the Tang, Song, Yuan, Ming and Qing dynasties have distinctive literature? Why didn't earlier dynasties have it?"
Bai Bufan frowned, realizing that the matter was not simple. He did not directly answer Lin Li's question, but squinted his eyes and asked back:
"Tang poetry, Song lyrics, Yuan opera, Ming novels, Qing Dynasty... all in abundance. Could the Qing Dynasty literature you're talking about be..."
Lin Li OVO: "Treaty."
"Damn it! I knew it!!!" Bai Bufan couldn't help laughing.
While they were having fun, the school broadcast started to sound, indicating that the classes on the first floor of Grade 12 and Grade 13 could move their chairs and go to the playground.
Xue Jian also came in carrying a bag that he used to hold students' cell phones and started distributing the phones.
"I'll emphasize again what we said during the class meeting and during drills: be careful when playing games on your phone—"
Lin Li: "Is anyone playing Mini World? I need to wait for 3 seconds, urgent."
Seeing Xue Jian put down his handbag and walk towards the corner with a smile while holding the teaching triangle, Lin Li quickly put his head in his hands and apologized: "I'm wrong, I'm wrong, teacher, I was just joking."
I'm afraid this thing will hurt if it pricks you.
Xue Jian didn't bother with Lin Li.
He is calculating with the fourth shift.
Therefore, it was not until the broadcast notified the classes on the second floor that they could go downstairs in an orderly manner that Lin Li was able to stop standing upside down and carry his chair out.
If I had known this earlier in the morning, I wouldn't have done a handstand just as I said. Now it seems that Xue Jian has discovered a new way of punishment.
It turns out that people can't be too honest.
Seeing Xue Jian leading the Imperial Army in the front, Lin Li quickened his pace and walked alongside Chen Yuying in front of him, muttering softly, "What a pity, we can't sit together tonight."
Of course, the placement of chairs on the playground is not free, as that would be too messy. Xue Jian directly determined the positions according to the order of exercise. In this way, the girls' group are all in the front. Although Chen Yuying is tall among the girls, there is still a huge gap between them.
Lin Li knew that although no one would care if he made a slight adjustment to his seat, if he openly mixed in with the girls, it would depend on whether Xue Jian would prick him or not.
"It's okay." Chen Yuying also glanced at Xue Jian, who was leading the imperial army in the front, and gently patted the camera hanging on her chest with her free left hand. "When I get bored, I'll pretend to take pictures of everyone and then come play with you."
The camera belongs to Xue Jian. During class team-building events like sports meets and autumn outings, he would take out the camera and hand it over to the class, asking everyone to record the scenes themselves. He would then select a part and send it to the class group.
Of course, anyone can use it, but it is just placed with Chen Yuying by default. But because of this, many times it is directly given to Chen Yuying to shoot.
Chen Yuying knew that although no one would care about the slight adjustment of the seat, if she sneaked in next to Lin Li, it would depend on whether Xue Jian would poke Lin Li or not.
"That's right, the boy is teachable." Lin Li nodded with a smile.
In fact, the two of them didn't think anything of the fact that they had to be apart for most of the night.
If it was the ambiguous stage before being together, both parties might have been worried and felt it was a pity to miss such a great opportunity, but now, all we can say is that there is no need for that.
"But, squad leader, let me test you. Do you know what the similarities are between a camera and Kobe?" Before returning to the back row of his own team, Lin Li tapped Chen Yuying on the head and spoke in a low voice.
"Lin Li, go away." Chen Yuying patted Lin Li in anger and annoyance, urging him to go back to the back row.
Both the camera and Kobe can zoom.
Although she didn't want to admit it, Chen Yuying was sure that her life was almost ruined. She could come up with the answer in seconds. It was sad.
Seeing this look, Lin Li knew that Chen Yuying had understood, and he laughed out loud.
He was halfway through laughing when Xue Jian, who was leading the imperial army, turned around and glanced at him coldly. He then rolled back to the back row in disappointment.
As for helping Chen Yuying get a chair or something, there was no need for that. A chair is not a table, and girls are not that weak. If you insist on helping to get it at this time, it will only make you look conspicuous.
On the way back to the back row, as he passed Bao Wei, Lin Li pulled out a raisin from his pocket and threw it in Bao Wei's direction: "Bao Wei, catch it."
"What?"
"Raisins."
Zhou Baowei tossed one into his mouth. It tasted good and sweet, but one was too little. So he looked at Lin Li with a hint of unsatisfaction: "Where did you get it? Are there any more?"
"I picked some from under Ochi's chair. I think there are still a few left. If you want them, I'll go find some more." Lin Li replied in a relaxed tone. "By the way, do you want the fresh green ones, or the brown, aged ones?"
Zhou Baowei and Wang Yuezhi: "(；☉_☉)?"
Zhou Baowei: "Lin Li, you are a dog!"
"Can you please stop spreading rumors, Lin Li! There's nothing clean under my chair!" Wang Yuezhi felt Lin Li lower his head and angrily showed what was under his chair.
"So do you still want to eat?" Lin Li asked Zhou Baowei impatiently.
Zhou Baowei smacked his lips, the taste of raisins remaining in his mouth unmistakably lingering, so he nodded and said, "Eat!"
He even admitted it was a booger!
Everyone, do you remember a famous question?
Which would you choose: shit-flavored chocolate or chocolate-flavored shit?
If Zhou Baowei were to answer this question.
Then he will proudly say his answer - it depends on the situation, it depends on whether the chocolate-flavored shit can make him full. If not, he can make do with shit-flavored chocolate!
This is the blood-boiling appetite of Bao Weiwei's True Clan bloodline! Never underestimate his friendship and bond with his stomach!
Of course, Baowei's ability to give such an answer is closely related to the atmosphere in the back row of Class 4.
Just like Bai Bufan naturally accepted that he was a dog and Lin Li naturally accepted that he was born, Zhou Baowei also naturally accepted his supreme identity as a泔水袋.
Only when everyone can make a joke, the joke will be funny and the funniest.
To put it bluntly, people who can only accept making jokes about others but resist being joked about themselves cannot play together with their brothers.
"Yes, you are teachable!"
Facing Zhou Baowei's answer, Lin Li laughed and threw all the small bags of raisins that appeared in his pocket to Zhou Baowei.
…
Winter nights always come much earlier than summer nights. When the boys felt it was about time and set out from the dormitory to the playground, it was actually only five fifty, but the sky was already dark. Although it was not completely dark yet, the moon was already visible.
The existing lighting points on the playground and the newly installed lighting points on the stage have been turned on, and several spotlights pointing into the sky have left clear light marks.
The party was about to begin, and the playground was already crowded with people talking and making noise.
Walk to the fourth class area and take a seat.
"Oh shit, why is the network so slow all of a sudden? I can't even load the pornographic pictures, let alone forward them." Yang Bangjie frowned.
Brother Huangtu is in huge crisis!
This was really a serious problem, so the boys looked at Yang Bangjie worriedly.
"There are too many people on the playground, and they are all playing with their phones, so naturally the system is lagging." Lin Li pointed out the reason directly.
"It wasn't this slow during the sports meet. We were still in our third year of high school then."
"There weren't so many people back then, and rarely were all present at a sports meet. The total number of people on the playground wasn't even as many as it is now if all the freshmen and sophomores are present, not to mention the density." Lin Li smiled.
"Of course, if we're talking about conspiracy theories, it's also possible that the school specifically blocked the signal so we can't use our phones."
"It seems I have to take action." Bai Bufan adjusted his non-existent glasses, and a cold light flashed in his eyes.
Lin Li and others looked at Bai Bufan stupidly, waiting for him to continue talking nonsense.
"Solving this problem is simple. The school has built-in Wi-Fi. As long as we can connect to it, we won't have to compete with others for the signal on the playground. We'll be able to load and forward pornographic images smoothly."
What was unexpected was that what Bai Bufan said was actually not nonsense and made a lot of sense.
"Do you know the WIFI password?" Qin Zeyu asked curiously.
"I don't know yet, but you may not know that I am actually a low-key guest in the underworld. I will try to decipher it." Bai Bufan sneered, and his true intentions were revealed.
Qin Zeyu was the first to lose his temper: "What the hell are you talking about?"
Lin Li scratched his head. "I think Bufan made a mistake. He meant to say 'hei diao di ke'. I almost heard it as 'hei diao di ke'."
Qin Zeyu: "666, there is a second level."
However, under everyone's expectation, Bai Bufan demonstrated his undercover method - WIFI master key!
Hehehe, total failure, no deciphering.
waste.
While Bai Bufan was being beaten up, all the lights on the playground suddenly dimmed.
"Dear leaders and teachers——"
"Dear classmates—"
"Good evening everyone!!!"
The voices of the male and female hosts spread throughout the playground through the speakers, and the noise on the playground also stopped.
"...Tonight, the dazzling stage will ignite the passion of Nansang! Now, I declare that the Nansang Middle School New Year's Day Gala officially begins!!"
With the end of the speeches, the New Year’s Eve party of Nansang Middle School officially began.
Everyone quieted down a bit and started watching the party.
…
“Pah-pah—”
"good!"
The accompaniment gradually faded, and the song performance ended. Although it was not truly wonderful, the students in the audience gave it enough emotional value and applauded loudly.
"Thank you Mr. Fang for your wonderful performance. He used his singing to express..."
The hosts took turns to come on stage and started the linking words between the programs as usual.
Qin Zeyu stretched and looked at Wang Ze beside him with disdain: "Wang Ze, can you please stop singing along? Did you take rhyme-avoiding drugs? You're singing completely out of tune."
Wang Ze: "Even if you sang on key, what would it matter? Didn't the girl you love still run away?"
Qin Zeyu: “?”
"You're fucking sick." Qin Zeyu cursed with a smile, "I haven't even found her yet, how can I run away?"
Lin Li smiled. Sitting would reduce his height advantage, and it was quite tiring to keep craning his neck to watch the show, so he stood up and stretched.
Then his brows paused, his eyes fixed on two people from the next class who were getting up and leaving.
He looked at the two of them.
Or rather, looking at the imaginary screen in front of you.
Yo.
Come to life.
(End of this chapter)
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