Chapter 475: Let’s Start Over
Beigong You looked at his hysterical mother, a trace of pain flashed in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced by determination. He slowly squatted down and looked at the eldest princess who was sitting on the ground.
"Mother." His voice was low and restrained. "Do you know that on the night you sent someone to assassinate Miaoyin, An'er had a high fever and kept crying for his mother all night?" His fingers trembled slightly. "You taught me that those who want to achieve great things should not be particular about small details, but your small details are the life of the person I love the most."
The eldest princess' pupils suddenly contracted and her lips trembled but she couldn't speak.
Beigong You stood up and took one last look at his mother: "You will repent here for the rest of your life. I...will not come again." After that, he turned and left, never looking back despite the heart-wrenching cries coming from behind him.
The autumn wind rolled the dead leaves around Shen Yu's grave. Lin Miaoyin knelt in front of the yellow earth, her fingers deeply inserted into the soil. The white cloth wrapped around her head rustled in the wind, making her face even paler. An An knelt quietly beside her, holding a bunch of wild chrysanthemums in her little hands and placing them on the grave.
"Uncle Shen likes flowers." An looked up, his voice childish but serious, "He said that when mother smiles, she is prettier than flowers."
Lin Miaoyin's tears fell on the new soil in front of the grave, creating dark dots. Beigong You stood three steps away, looking at her trembling shoulders, his chest felt like a huge rock was pressing down on him. He took off his cloak and tried to put it on her, but his hand froze in mid-air when he reached out - he saw Lin Miaoyin subconsciously shrank back.
"I can do it myself." She took the cloak, her voice hoarse as if it had been sanded.
On the return carriage, An was so tired that he fell asleep in Lin Miaoyin's arms. Beigong You looked at the passing scenery outside the window and suddenly said, "The imperial physician said that An'er's cough needs to be cured by hot springs. I have a farm in the suburbs..."
"Don't worry, Your Majesty." Lin Miaoyin interrupted him, "I will take good care of Youan."
Beigong You turned his head abruptly, his eyes filled with long-suppressed emotions: "It's been three years! How far are you going to push me?" Realizing that his voice was too loud and might wake the child, he gritted his teeth and lowered his voice.
The carriage suddenly jolted, and Beigong You took the opportunity to sit next to her. He reached out to touch An'er, but his hand covered Lin Miaoyin's cold fingers. Both of them trembled, but neither of them pulled away.
"Give me a chance." He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. "Just... for An'er."
The hot spring pool in Zhuangzi was filled with steam. An sat on the stone platform beside the pool wrapped in a small blanket, her little feet playing with the hot water. Lin Miaoyin rolled up her sleeves to rub her back, not noticing Beigong You standing behind the column with a medicine bowl in his hand.
"Daddy!" An suddenly shouted happily. Lin Miaoyin's hand trembled and the bath towel fell into the water. Beigong You walked over quickly and squatted down, testing the water temperature with skillful movements: "Add some more hot water." He looked at Lin Miaoyin, "The new medicine prescribed by the imperial physician should be taken while it is hot."
Lin Miaoyin took the medicine bowl, and when her fingertips touched, she finally looked up at him. The water vapor blurred Beigong You's cold outline, and in a trance, he looked a bit like the boy he was when they first met. She suddenly realized that this was the first time she had looked at him seriously in three years.
An suddenly coughed, interrupting the moment of staring. Beigong You immediately held the child on his knees and patted her back with his big hand. His movements were so familiar that Lin Miaoyin was surprised - when did he learn these?
"Your Highness is quite skilled." she blurted out.
Beigong You lowered his head to feed An the medicine, and said in a muffled voice, "When you were not around... I often went to the other courtyard to see her." An frowned bitterly, and he took out candied fruit from his sleeve like a magic trick, "But you always hide from me."
As the night deepened, after Lin Miaoyin coaxed An'er to sleep, she found Beigong You drinking alone in the yard. The moonlight cast a silver edge on his shoulders and also illuminated the seven or eight empty wine jugs at his feet. When he saw her approaching, his hand holding the cup stopped in mid-air.
Lin Miaoyin stood in the corridor, the moonlight stretched her shadow very long. She looked at the wine jugs scattered at Beigong You's feet, and a sour feeling welled up in her heart. In the past three years, she had never seen him lose his composure like this.
"Your Highness..." she called softly, her voice trembling slightly in the night wind.
Beigong You raised his head, his eyes were drunken but also somewhat sober. He put down his wine glass and stretched out his hand to her: "Miaoyin, come here."
Lin Miaoyin hesitated for a moment, but finally walked slowly to his side. Beigong You grabbed her hand with such force that she frowned slightly.
"Do you know?" He said hoarsely, "Seeing you cry like that for Shen Yu, I was so jealous. I wish I was the one lying on the bed seriously injured."
Lin Miaoyin wanted to pull her hand back, but he held it even tighter.
"I know you hate me." Beigong You said with a bitter smile, "But Miaoyin..." He suddenly stood up, his tall figure covering her, "I have never stopped loving you for a moment."
The night wind blew by, bringing with it the sulfurous smell of the hot springs in the distance. Lin Miaoyin turned her face away, not wanting him to see her red eyes.
As he spoke, he looked up at her and said, "Miaoyin, give me a chance. Let's let go of the past and start over, okay?"
Lin Miaoyin looked at him in shock.
A great war king actually knelt before her. In the moonlight, she saw the tears flashing in his eyes.
"You're...drunk." She took a half step back.
Beigong You took the opportunity to hug her waist and put his face on her belly: "I'm not drunk. In the past three years, I've been more sober than ever before." His voice came muffled, "Every time I see you hiding from me, my heart feels like it's being cut by a knife."
An'er needs a father." She finally spoke, "and I..."
Beigong You held his breath.
"I need you, too." She whispered and quickly turned away.
Beigong You was stunned for a moment, then suddenly pulled her into his arms. His embrace was warm and strong, with a faint scent of wine.
"I swear," his voice rang in her ears, "from now on, you and An'er are everything to me."
Lin Miaoyin leaned on his shoulder, tears silently falling. She remembered how he tested the water temperature for An'er during the day, and how he patted An'er's back skillfully. In the past three years, he had indeed been silently paying attention to them, mother and daughter.
"An'er's medicine..." She suddenly remembered something and pushed him away slightly.
"I have already ordered people to prepare for tomorrow." Beigong You touched her face and gently wiped away her tears with his thumb. "Tonight, let's have a good talk, okay?"
He pulled her to sit on the stone bench and poured her a glass of warm wine. Under the moonlight, the two sat opposite each other, and the three-year gap seemed to have melted away at this moment.
"Do you know?" Beigong You said softly, "Every time I go to the other courtyard to see Youan, I will stand for a while by the window where you often sit."
Lin Miaoyin took a sip of the wine. The warm wine flowed down her throat and warmed her heart.
"Sometimes Youan would ask me why Daddy and Mommy couldn't be with her together." Beigong You's voice was a little choked up, "I don't know how to answer..."
Lin Miaoyin stretched out her hand and gently placed it on the back of his hand: "I won't do that again."
Beigong You held her fingers tightly with his backhand, and the two interlocked their fingers. The night wind was getting colder, but he felt warm in his heart.
"When An'er recovers from her illness," he said longingly, "we will take her to fly kites, go for an outing in the countryside, and do all the things that ordinary parents would do."
Lin Miaoyin smiled slightly: "She will definitely be very happy."
Under the moonlight, the shadows of the two people gradually approached each other and finally merged into one. In the distance came the sound of the night watchman's clapper, and the night was already deep.
"Go and have a rest." Beigong You stood up, but still reluctant to let go of her hand, "You still have to take care of Youan tomorrow."
Lin Miaoyin nodded, and the two walked side by side to the inner room. At the fork in the road, Beigong You suddenly grabbed her and said, "Miaoyin..."
She looked back at him.
"Let's just live our lives like this."
The moonlight poured down like water into the courtyard of Beigong Mansion. Lin Miaoyin and Beigong You stood side by side in the corridor, their shadows stretched long on the bluestone slabs and finally merged into one.
Beigong You's fingers gently stroked the back of Lin Miaoyin's hand, and his voice was low: "Tomorrow I have invited Director Zhang from the Imperial Hospital to come and see Youan."
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