[Bonus Chapter 4] Jinse (Part 2)
Seeing that Xu Fengyan was almost finished eating, Xu Chang'an picked up a handkerchief to wipe his mouth, but Xu Fengyan quickly pushed it away. Realizing his rudeness, he explained, "You... I haven't used the handkerchief you gave me this morning..." At this moment, Xu Chang'an also noticed something was wrong and looked at Xu Fengyan abruptly, asking, "It's just handing you a handkerchief, why are you blushing?" "I... I didn't," Xu Fengyan's face turned bright red, and he lowered his head, somewhat embarrassed. They had lived together for so long, and she had even accompanied him to the private school; how could things have turned out like this after they came back? Xu Fengyan didn't know what was wrong with him; inexplicably, he couldn't look Xu Chang'an in the eye, feeling that his gaze would burn him.
But it wasn't long before Xu Fengyan found out. At fifteen or sixteen, the age when love first blossoms, even the naive Xu Fengyan should have realized that his feelings for Xu Chang'an had already transcended brotherly affection and the master-servant relationship. This was probably unrequited love. Xu Fengyan often fantasized that he and Xu Chang'an could understand each other's hearts, yet Xu Chang'an still treated him like a brother. "The brocade zither has fifty strings for no reason, each string and bridge evokes thoughts of bygone years. Zhuangzi dreamt he was a butterfly, and the Emperor Wang's heart was entrusted to the cuckoo." Xu Fengyan lay in his room, silently reciting the poems Xu Chang'an had taught him years ago. Although he had read many ancient books during his time with the Sixteen Riders of Yanshan, Xu Fengyan still wanted to hear Xu Chang'an explain them to him. He sat up and went to the study, where he saw Xu Chang'an practicing calligraphy. He quietly went over and started grinding ink for him. When Xu Chang'an saw Xu Fengyan approach, he stopped writing and asked, "Did you need something?"
"Hmm... I wanted to ask you, do you still remember the poem 'Jinse' that you and I read together back then?"
"I remember, so what?"
"You only explained the first sentence back then. I'd like to ask what the second sentence means?"
"The second line, 'Zhuangzi dreamt he was a butterfly, and Emperor Wang entrusted his heart to the cuckoo,' roughly means that Zhuangzi danced and dreamt he was a butterfly, while Emperor Wang entrusted his sorrow to the cuckoo. Life's joys and sorrows are but a fleeting dream." Xu Chang'an looked up at Xu Fengyan. "It's perfect that you came to see me; I also have something to tell you." Hearing that he was to do something for Xu Chang'an, Xu Fengyan was even more delighted and quickly asked, "What do you need me to do?"
The news that "Tang Feng, the son of the Tang family, entered the palace to request a marriage decree from the Emperor, wanting to marry the young master of the Dingbei Marquis family" has spread far and wide. Even if Xu Chang'an didn't say it, Xu Fengyan knew. He admired Tang Feng's courage to ask the Emperor for a marriage decree. "He is indeed very capable. I admire him quite a bit." Xu Fengyan was taken aback at first, then asked, "You admire him? He's just a coward. You've heard what's going on in Xiling City." Xu Fengyan was somewhat at a loss and quickly explained, "No... no, I... I just think that for someone he loves, standing before the Emperor and asking for a marriage decree is braver than many others..."
Xu Chang'an didn't want to continue the topic, but instead said, "His Highness the Fourth Prince ordered you to steal the Fire Talisman from the Imperial Mausoleum and deliver it to Consort Rong. Then, mobilize the Sixteen Riders of Yanshan to assassinate Tang Feng. He overheard something he shouldn't have heard when he entered the palace." Xu Fengyan was taken aback, not expecting that he would be tasked with killing Tang Feng. "Kill...kill him?" Seeing Xu Fengyan's reaction, Xu Chang'an sighed. "I knew it would be like this. You're too soft-hearted and easily led astray. Never mind, I'll arrange for someone else."
"Young Master! Please wait... If this matter is handled properly, will it be of any help to you?"
Xu Chang'an hesitated for a moment, then nodded. Xu Fengyan then said, "If it can really help you, I'm willing to take on this task." Xu Chang'an wasn't sure if Xu Fengyan had agreed impulsively, but considering Tang Feng was a frail scholar, he figured the task wouldn't be too difficult and let him handle it. However, Xu Fengyan, having accepted the task, didn't leave. Perhaps emboldened by Tang Feng's bravery, he said, "Young Master... I'd like to ask another question."
"ask"
"What if... I mean, what if, the younger brother fell in love with his biological older brother... do you think that's feasible?"
"Of course not!" Xu Fengyan's face turned pale upon hearing Xu Chang'an's stern refusal. "Putting aside the fact that they are blood relatives, it would be extremely disgraceful in the eyes of parents and outsiders. It's against human ethics. Why are you asking this?"
"I... I just suddenly remembered that Tang Feng is a few years younger than Zhou Ziliang, so maybe..."
"They're not related by blood, so of course they can be together."
Seeing Xu Chang'an pick up his brush and continue practicing calligraphy, Xu Fengyan stumbled out of the room. Yes, joys and sorrows are but a fleeting dream. His arrival at the Xu family mansion was itself an inexplicable dream, and now that he'd woken up, he should let go of these things. Xu Chang'an was neither a reasonable nor emotional partner to be with him. He was his young master, his elder brother; how could he still harbor such improper thoughts? Xu Fengyan suddenly felt a growing dislike for his relationship with Xu Chang'an. If he were like Tang Feng, merely a neighbor and friend of Xu Chang'an, would he also receive an imperial decree of marriage and live a life of mutual respect and harmony?
Xu Fengyan first met Tang Feng in the southern city. He could tell Tang Feng couldn't ride a horse, so he drew his longsword and stared at Tang Feng for a long time. Tang Feng seemed afraid, yet he didn't run away, as if waiting for him. Xu Fengyan lightly patted the horse's rump with the back of his sword, and the horse, in pain, bolted. Tang Feng, seeing him charging, pulled on the reins and fell from the horse, rolling a considerable distance. Xu Fengyan barely managed to stop the horse in front of Tang Feng, seeing blood on Tang Feng's forehead but not paying it any further attention. He figured Tang Feng would probably die, Xu Fengyan didn't know, but ultimately didn't bring his sword down to finish him off.
The consequence of not finishing him off was being taken back to the Xu residence and scolded. In his memory, Xu Chang'an had never blamed him before, but this time, it was clear that Xu Chang'an was very angry. Xu Fengyan suddenly felt a little regretful. If he had killed Tang Feng back then, would Xu Chang'an have praised him, saying, "Are you listening to me?"
"Young Master, I'm listening," Xu Fengyan said, head bowed as if admitting his mistake. Xu Chang'an waved his hand impatiently. "Forget it. He's a frail man; we can find another opportunity. You know the struggle for the throne is fierce right now, and many officials are siding with Prince Duan. A new establishment called Qinghui Fang has opened in Wanchun Lane; it'll be convenient for inquiries. Just disguise yourself and go in. I've already made arrangements for you inside. From today onwards, you'll be the courtesan Han Jiu Hua." Xu Fengyan hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Okay, I'll go prepare right away."
When he was young, he had seen his mother paint her eyebrows and draw her hair, and he began to imitate her stroke by stroke. Because he could not reveal his identity, Xu Fengyan moved all his belongings into Qinghui Lane, including his mother's memorial tablet. In the end, he returned here. So what was he to the Xu family all these years?
Even without Xu Chang'an's intervention, the madam of Qinghuifang praised Xu Fengyan upon seeing him, saying, "Your appearance is truly captivating, but that veil... you should still remove it when greeting guests." Seeing the madam about to remove his veil, Xu Fengyan quickly stopped her, "No! I... I can't lift this." Seeing the madam's puzzled expression, he hurriedly explained, "I... I sell my art, not my body, so..." He then handed the madam a bag of silver, saying, "Nine Flowers is ignorant... please forgive her." The madam shut her mouth upon seeing the money, quickly agreeing, "Alright, alright, you're the top courtesan, of course..." "People care," Xu Fengyan saw the madam off, carefully cleaned his mother's memorial tablet, and placed it next to the Buddhist shrine. He then slowly sat down, looked up at the tablet, and whispered, "Mother, I think... I've fallen for my brother, but I know it's hopeless, yet I still don't repent. Tell me, were you like this back then, knowing Father wouldn't come for you, yet still risking your life to give birth to me?" Xu Fengyan leaned on the table, quietly looking at the tablet. "Jiuhua, are you there? I forgot to tell you, you're going to be paraded through the streets today." Hearing the madam about to enter, Xu Fengyan quickly put on his veil, went out, and smiled. "Okay, what do I need to do now?"
Xu Fengyan sat in the sedan chair, watching the crowd below who had gathered to watch him. He wondered how long the parade would last. Actually, Xu Fengyan didn't want to stay in Qinghui Fang, spending his days playing the zither and entertaining high-ranking officials. But all of this was arranged by Xu Chang'an; he must have his reasons. Just as Xu Fengyan was lost in thought, he unexpectedly saw Tang Feng in the crowd. "Why is he here? Didn't he just... beg His Majesty for a marriage?" Although Xu Fengyan was puzzled, seeing Tang Feng staring at him, he was forced to raise the fan he had been holding up. Tang Feng really wasn't dead, but judging from Tang Feng's personality... it shouldn't be like this. He should be timid, cowardly, and afraid to go out...
Xu Fengyan didn't have to wait long. He had barely stepped out of the sedan chair when he heard the servants outside say that Tang Feng had bought him for the night. Xu Fengyan was initially surprised, then quickly pulled down the bed curtains. The Tang Feng he met was completely different from the rumors he had heard. He was calm, generous, and even a little audacious in his speech. Despite this, Xu Fengyan didn't intend to abandon the mission. After all, Tang Feng was alone, and Zhou Ziliang was far away at the border; killing him would be too easy. Xu Fengyan had heard about Tang Feng and Zhou Ziliang's affair, but he knew that the young master Tang was gentle and had been very attentive to Zhou Ziliang, but had angered Zhou Ziliang over the arranged marriage, leading to his departure for the border. Would Zhou Ziliang be saddened by Tang Feng's death? This was the question Xu Fengyan had been thinking about most lately, just like if he himself died, would Xu Chang'an cry for him?
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