Chapter 57 The tiger from the zoo has arrived! You can even touch the tiger’s butt!
They said, "Erfeng, when you attacked Goguryeo, they repelled you and frightened you into withdrawing overnight."
[You were shot blind by their general at the gates of the city. Afterwards, wearing the same eye patch as the pirates, you knelt down and begged for mercy, peace, and withdrawal.]
[The key is that the people there actually believed it! They thought it was us, the Tang Dynasty, who were defeated by them!]
[This is so funny. So after they defeated the Tang Dynasty, they became dogs of the Ming Dynasty, right?
If Zhu Di knew that they dared to humiliate Emperor Taizong of Tang like this, they probably wouldn't even have the chance to be dogs!
Li Shimin: ???
Li Shimin:!!!
There was a table of delicious spicy thirteen-spice garlic crayfish and beer barbecue on the table, but he was so angry that he couldn't eat a single bite.
“I’m so pissed!
I should have launched another expedition the following year to annihilate Goguryeo!"
Otherwise, they wouldn't have the opportunity to make such outrageous remarks!
He did withdraw his troops on his own initiative that year, but that was because the weather was about to get colder.
Years of battle experience allowed him to withdraw his troops decisively, and sure enough, some soldiers froze to death on the way back.
And in terms of military achievements, although he did not completely pacify Goguryeo, he did capture ten cities and captured more than 100,000 prisoners of war, which was clearly a great victory.
"As long as they haven't been exterminated, they think they have won?"
How could a country be so shameless as to fabricate history?
The moral and historical bottom lines of the Chinese people are still too high. In wars at home and abroad, they always make a big fuss about the shame of being bullied.
Li Shimin had never seen such a shameless nation!
"Wait, that's not right. I remember that although I didn't pacify Goguryeo, Xiaojiu later completely destroyed Goguryeo.
Why are they still here?"
[Yes, this is even more shameless!]
Because they are not the warlike Goguryeo people, but the Silla people!
The people who stole the country were actually weak Silla people, but they disguised themselves as strong Goguryeo people to flatter themselves.
Li Shimin remembered that Silla had always been very submissive to the Tang Dynasty, and in terms of combat power, it was not even half of Goguryeo's.
[Li Zhi joined forces with Silla to destroy Goguryeo, and Silla occupied most of Goguryeo's territory. The Tang Dynasty also ruled the northern part of Goguryeo.
Later, because the Tang Dynasty and Silla had a good relationship, they handed Goguryeo over to them for rule.
"The main reason is that the area is cold and barren, with few resources. It's out of reach, so occupying it wouldn't be very useful."
Speaking of this, Li Shimin felt a little disgusted.
One is Goguryeo, which is too far north and too cold; the other is Tubo, which is too high and wheat cannot be grown.
"These are just places I don't want!"
In other words, the weaklings of Silla, who had nothing, relied on the method of moral victory to deceive their own people. As a result, after telling lies for a long time, everyone from top to bottom believed them.
Silla was annoying, but Japan was the real enemy and threat.
“It seems I still have to do something.
If we want to take Japan, the most troublesome thing is that there is an ocean in between."
The Tang Dynasty is currently good at infantry and cavalry, and the navy basically does not exist.
"The first step is to build a big ship!"
"Leave the shipbuilding to us! Erfeng, you can just focus on training the troops!"
We will definitely build you an ancient version of an aircraft carrier! 】
However, this time Li Shimin shook his head and refused:
“It’s enough for you to build ships and go out to sea to search for seeds. Military needs require more than just one or two ships.
If all seafaring ships were manufactured by you, what would happen to our Tang Dynasty in a few decades or hundreds of years?
The technology to build seagoing vessels and warships must be mastered by the people of the Tang Dynasty! We cannot rely too much on others."
[Wow, isn’t this just having your own industrial production system?
As expected of an ancient strategist, our Erfeng has a long-term vision!
[That was the strategist Er Feng's rule and handling of foreign races, which is still a model for handling ethnic and regional issues today!
Putting aside his various strategies of combining firmness with flexibility, he always sought long-term goals in every war, such as conquering Gaochang in order to open up the Silk Road.
Attaching importance to Jiaozhi and opening up the Red Sea channel is to lay the foundation for future maritime trade and the Maritime Silk Road!
[Ahhhhhhhhh, the more I talk about it, the more I want to sleep with Erfeng. Today’s daily check-in and sleeping post!
Good news! The number of likes has now exceeded one million. Sisters and brothers, we all share the same interests and are all one family!
Li Shimin: ???
Li Shimin, who had just smiled at the praise, suddenly became unhappy.
Why are there a million people who want to sleep with me?
So scary!
Li Shimin was depressed, but fortunately, modern workers are good at livening up the atmosphere. Lu Shuyuan quickly said that she would take him to catch those who cheated in the imperial examination the next day.
This sounds interesting, and the imperial examination is of paramount importance.
Therefore, the next day Li Shimin found an excuse that he was not feeling well, sneaked into the Imperial Examination Hall, and followed Lu Shuyuan to catch cheating.
This imperial examination did not require submission of papers or nomination from nobles, so the number of candidates was twice as many as in previous imperial examinations.
The candidates arrived at the entrance of the examination venue early, and some of them were reciting nervously with their books, trying to seize the last minute before the exam.
Lu Shuyuan entered the Imperial Examination Hall and placed the candidates into the courtyard for the first inspection.
She stood on a high platform and gave some encouraging words to the candidates, wishing them good results in the exam.
[This feels a bit like our principal's pre-college entrance exam mobilization speech. I'm suddenly transported back to high school!]
"Before you enter this examination hall, I must reiterate: if you still have cheat sheets, notes, or any other cheating materials on you, please discard them immediately.
This is your last chance, don't leave anything to chance!
Anyone who commits fraud, according to Tang law, will be punished with a 100-stroke caning at the lightest, or exile at the worst!"
Lu Shuyuan emphasized this three times with an expressionless face, and soon some candidates with poor psychological endurance tremblingly threw away the cheat sheets hidden in their sleeves or clothes.
Then everyone started lining up for inspection.
"Please line up, take off your clothes, untie your headscarves, and hand over the food you brought to the prosecutor next to you."
After hearing this, all the candidates were stunned:
"You still need to take off your clothes? How much should you take off?
What? Stripped down to just the pants? How can you do that? It's totally disgraceful!"
[To explain, stripping for inspection and breaking open food and snacks for inspection were only introduced in the Song Dynasty, but not in the Tang Dynasty.
The Tang Dynasty's imperial examinations relied heavily on the guarantor system, post-examination supervision, and the examinees' own moral restraint to prevent cheating.
[Ah? The exam relies solely on moral constraints. Sorry, we, the examinees, have no morals!]
"If you have any objections, it's not too late to get out now."
Lu Shuyuan said this expressionlessly, and all the candidates could only do as she said.
Those who were innocent were naturally not afraid, but there were also many who hesitated and did not want to take off all their clothes. At this time, Lu Shuyuan said to Li Shimin:
"Boss, let me show you something fun!"
She walked forward, looked at a row of naked candidates, then tore off the sticky insole from between the insole and the sole of one candidate's shoe, and pulled out a small stack of slips of paper.
Li Shimin stared with wide eyes as he watched Lu Shuyuan pull out a piece of paper hidden inside another candidate's snack...
However, this was not the end. After Lu Shuyuan walked around in front of the candidates for a few times, she suddenly stared at one candidate, pointed at his belt and said:
"Take off your pants completely and turn them inside out!"
The candidate immediately covered his crotch, his face flushed:
“Isn’t this bad?
Besides, you are a woman, my Lord, and we men and women should not touch each other!"
Before Lu Shuyuan could say anything, Li Shimin immediately rolled up his sleeves and walked forward to strip him, then saw that the inside of his bitter tea seeds was covered with densely packed tiny words.
Li Shimin threw his pants aside with disgust and quickly washed his hands:
"You can even read such small words?
And how was this word written?"
This obviously couldn't have been written with a brush and ink. After all, the writing would blur if there was sweat, making it impossible to read. Besides, a brush couldn't write such fine characters.
“It’s glued on one by one using mouse whiskers.
It took me over a hundred days to hide a policy paper of tens of thousands of words! "
Li Shimin and everyone in the sky: !!!
[Wow, this is really eye-opening!]
If this hadn't been discovered, wouldn't it be the world's first case of crotch fraud? It would be embarrassing to tell anyone about it!]
[This guy is really too hardworking. If he has this much perseverance, can't he just memorize more books for a few days? Why does he have to resort to such a crooked approach?]
[Exactly, how many whiskers did it take to write these tens of thousands of words? The mouse is truly in trouble!]
[With his perseverance, I will succeed in everything I do. He is a role model for my generation!]
Li Shimin: ???
However, this was not the end. After the candidates entered the examination room, took their seats and started the examination, Lu Shuyuan took Li Shimin to inspect the courtyard from a high place.
After a while, they saw a white pigeon flying overhead, so they quietly chased the pigeon and finally successfully caught a candidate who was cheating by using a carrier pigeon.
When he was caught, the man was tying today's test questions to the legs of a pigeon. He guessed that someone outside the venue saw the questions and gave him the answers, and then let the pigeon in.
[Good fellow, who said there was no remote radio cheating in ancient times? ]
In addition, they also caught someone taking the test for someone else, and two people throwing small paper balls to pass the answers to fill-in-the-blank multiple-choice questions...
In short, Li Shimin was greatly enlightened by the various cheating methods.
"This is the first imperial examination since I ascended the throne. We must handle it strictly and severely to set an example!"
It would be great if you could use your intelligence on studying and taking exams, but why do you have to take shortcuts?
No wonder he beat people with a stick and then exiled them to Jiaozhi!
[Giao Chi, Vietnam was also part of the Tang Dynasty back then. If you leave faster, you might be able to catch up and eat lychees this year!]
[Suddenly I remembered that I had the college entrance examination. All of them were pale-faced little bitter melons answering the questions. I was scratching my hair out. Wow.]
The imperial examination in the Tang Dynasty lasted three days. Just like in the Song Dynasty, candidates had to eat, drink, defecate and urinate in the examination hall and were not allowed to go out.
After three days, the bitter melons immediately let themselves go like happy rabbits, no different from modern college entrance examination candidates.
The results were announced within a dozen days. Li Shimin took a quick look and found that the number of candidates from disadvantaged families admitted this time was several times higher than in previous imperial examinations.
Moreover, since the examination distinguishes different types of test papers such as technical and poetry and songs, it is very clear what type of official position each candidate is suitable for.
Li Shimin used the imperial vermilion pen to personally select the top three candidates for the imperial examination.
Lu Shuyuan personally wrote the names and scores in large letters and posted the imperial examination list on the city wall of Chang'an.
Suddenly, everyone gathered there, making it so crowded that no one could get through. Even in the nearby Tiance Library, no one was interested in reading and started talking.
"Looking at the scores, I finally realized how big the gap is between me and the runner-up! I'm completely convinced!"
"Who on earth is that number one student? How come he scored 200 points higher than me?!
That’s 200 points! I’m so bad! There’s absolutely no hope for me in this life!
"Master, what's wrong with you? Master, wake up!
The master said that it doesn’t matter if we fail the exam. If we fail, we can go back and inherit the family business and manage our ten thousand acre farm!
Young Master, please be more positive. Would you like to try Mixue Ice City Tiramisu?"
Some candidates were happy while others were sad, but only Mixue Bingcheng was doing a booming business.
I didn’t pass the exam, so I ate some desserts to comfort myself.
The few candidates who passed the exam were beaming with joy and planned to treat everyone to dinner and drinks at Mixue Ice City.
The female administrators of the library watched this lively scene with envy in their eyes.
It’s great that now that the emperor is enlightened, these children from poor families can also become officials, especially the top three in the first class, who are all children from poor families.
These days, these candidates often come to the library to borrow books and discuss academic matters. They listen to a lot of what they hear and feel that those people's knowledge may not be much better than their own.
If only they could also take part in the imperial examinations and ride horses in a parade through Chang'an Avenue like today's top scholar, how wonderful it would be!
Wang's daughter's eyes were filled with reluctance. She sighed deeply, then saw Lu Shuyuan coming and quickly bowed.
Lu Shuyuan walked up to her, looked at her meaningfully, and then smiled:
"You think it's unfair, don't you?"
Wang mustered up the courage to say:
"Yes, I really am unwilling to accept this! I feel that the world is unfair!"
"That's great. Keep it up. Maybe one day an opportunity will come your way. Don't embarrass me then!"
What does that mean? Could it be...
Wang's heart skipped a beat. She was about to look up and ask something, but Lu Shuyuan left quickly.
However, hope was rekindled in the eyes of all the girls. They looked at each other and saw the excitement and ambition in each other's eyes.
Poor families can do it, and so can women like them!
One day they will walk up to their former family members and tell them with dignity that they have never been wrong!
It is your clan and ethics that are wrong, and you are unable to recognize the pearl!
Who's the biggest winner today? It's not the top scorer, it's Mixue Ice City!
Mixue Ice City is making a killing! 】
[It’s so funny. We drink Mixue Bingcheng at weddings and at funerals.]
If this continues, will the Tang Dynasty also have to buy three cups of Mixue Bingcheng to offer at the graves of their ancestors during Qingming Festival?
[That's nothing! Our Tang Dynasty Mixue Ice City has already expanded to Anxi Protectorate! If we expand further, we can reach Huihe and Tubo.]
Let the Western Regions see the reproduction speed of our Mixue Ice City! 】
At this time, the group of Hu people in Anxi Protectorate who had just come into contact with Mixue Bingcheng drinks were simply astonished!
They didn't know about Mixue's mitosis yet, and they all invited Datang's Mixue Ice City to open in their own countries!
Especially the milk tea from Mixue Ice City is more popular among various nomadic tribes.
Therefore, Wen Yuping quickly changed the recipe of Mixue Bingcheng to make it more suitable for various Hu tribes, and took this opportunity to promote Mixue Bingcheng on a large scale in countries such as Huihe and Tubo.
Because Mixue Ice City promoted the trade of the Tang Dynasty, the currency of the Tang Dynasty was soon accepted by the nobles of various Hu tribes.
Especially the bills of exchange and flying money, they sound very convenient to use.
Exchanging cattle and horses for Tang coins or flying coins, and then using Tang coins to buy other goods, sounded like a good idea, so the Hu people began to buy Tang coins and flying coins.
In this way, he could not only earn money from the Hu people, but also plant spies among Mixue.
When the number of Mixue Ice Cities in other countries increases, we can form a spy network covering all areas of Tubo and Huihe.
【??? Oh my god, our Mixue Ice City has become the 007 Special Forces?
Snow King, you have become more capable! 】
Is this still the same Mixue Bingcheng I know that sold for ten yuan a cup?! Is our Mixue Bingcheng going to take over the world with Datang?
Snow King, your smile suddenly became sinister! It looks a bit scary!
Wait, what did you write on the barrel cup? 】
The packaging bags made of Mixuebingcheng's wrapping paper that was introduced to Tubo are very exquisite and printed with Buddhist teachings and scriptures.
This was also the plan discussed by Li Shimin, Wen Yuping and others.
"This is to use Buddhism to shake the local Bon religion among the people.
If Buddhism can conflict with Bon and shake its rule, that would be great; if not, it can at least cause them some chaos."
[After some research, I found out that at that time Tubo still relied on its native religion, Bon, as the foundation of its regime.
The rule of the nobility and theocracy were bound together, and Bonism was the foundation of the legitimacy of the Zamp family's rule over Tubo.
[Yes, after Buddhism was introduced into the country in the eighth century, it did cause political turmoil in the local area, until it was later integrated and formed Tibetan Buddhism.
Before the end of feudal society, Tubo was a theocracy.
[This kind of serfdom is really backward. Those serfs lived a miserable life and were even skinned alive!
It’s better to hand it over to Datang for management immediately! 】
Seeing this, Li Shimin frowned, with rejection written all over his face:
"That place is too high and the air is too thin. People won't survive long if they stay there, and you can't even plant wheat.
What use would I have for it?"
To be honest, he really didn't want this place, and it was far away, and it would be difficult to govern if he took it over.
This is why he adopted the policy of marriage alliance. Princess Wencheng went to Tibet to spread the culture and ethics of the Tang Dynasty, and used the advanced cultural influence of the Tang Dynasty to win over Tubo.
"Of course, I actually wanted to unite with India to contain Tubo.
But I didn't expect that India was so vulnerable!"
This is also the reason why Wang Xuance was not taken seriously after he returned from defeating Tianzhu.
At that time, he sent Wang Xuance to India mainly to win over India and form a strong threat to Tubo.
Unexpectedly, the Indians not only had mental problems, but were also beaten to pieces.
But there was no benefit in destroying the Indian Tang Dynasty; instead, it benefited Tubo.
[No wonder Wang Xuance destroyed an entire country by himself, but was only granted a fifth-rank official title.
This is a case of gaining an advantage in war but failing to understand the strategic implications.]
[Our Erfeng is a unique strategist! I want to sleep with Shashasha!]
[Sure enough, our ancestors carefully selected the best land in Asia!
Anything that is not wanted is a bitter and cold place that even our ancestors looked down upon, hahaha]
[It's okay! Leave it to us this time. The yak beef there is delicious! We can also grow barley and potatoes!]
Anyway, Erfeng, just take it down, and let us modern people develop the rest for you! 】
If that's the case, then it's okay?
However, as for a direct war, Li Shimin is now more optimistic about Wen Yuping's economic strategy and economic warfare.
He will wait and see how powerful this method of economic control will be.
When it comes to war and strategy, Li Shimin is an extremely patient operator and is not in a hurry.
After reforming and selecting new talents, Datang soon received great news:
My wife Guanyinbi gave birth to a daughter safely.
"Hehehehehe, look how cute my daughter is!
Such big eyes, just like Guanyinbi!"
Li Shimin was teasing his daughter, and his whole body seemed to have special effects and bubbles of love coming out of it, looking like a complete daughter slave.
"I have made up my mind. This time, I will let my daughter marry into the royal family, so she doesn't have to marry somewhere else.
Just let her and her husband live in the palace forever!"
【!!! Hahahaha what kind of daughter slave father is this? He’s already thinking so far ahead just after his daughter is born?】
[But Erfeng’s idea is very good, like it!
I fully support it. It would be best if the princess gave birth to a child with the surname Li!
[That is, it is their honor to be the princess's consort and the Tang Emperor Taizong's son-in-law!]
Let's not talk about that for now. Let's talk about titles. Your daughter is the eldest daughter, so she should be named the Crown Princess!
Li Shimin: ???
"No, what are you guys doing?
From ancient times till now, only the eldest son has been the heir, how could there be a princess named as the crown princess?"
The system of primogeniture is the foundation of the Chinese inheritance system for governing a family and a country.
Although the Xuanwu Gate inheritance system is also excellent, it still cannot shake the status of the primogeniture system.
[Erfeng, are you favoring boys over girls, you feudal idiot? I'll hit you on the head!]
The eldest son can be crowned the Crown Prince, but the eldest daughter cannot be the Crown Princess?】
"No, last time I was the feudal lower man, how come I'm the feudal daddy again this time?
If I really do this, I will be scolded to death by all the officials tomorrow!
Do you believe that their spit can even spray on my face?"
In any case, Li Shimin disagreed. To be more precise, he had never thought about such a thing at all.
A delicate and gentle daughter should be well cared for, and then he should find a good family for her to marry into, so that she can live a peaceful and wealthy life without having to worry about anything. This is the best way.
[……… Forget it. There's a generation gap between us, so I can't explain it. You don't have to make her the Crown Princess, but you have to give her the same educational opportunities as your son.]
That's fine. If his daughter wants to learn, he certainly won't stop her and will even find a famous teacher to teach her personally.
Li Shimin didn't think he was biased towards boys. Anyway, he liked all the children born to Guanyin's maid!
"Everyone will receive a reward! Every palace servant will receive a thousand coins!"
Li Shimin, who was overjoyed to have a daughter, had a rosy face these days, and everyone in the tent also said that they would prepare gifts for the little princess's hundred-day banquet.
"You are not allowed to prepare weird things to harm my daughter. Cute things like kittens and puppies are fine."
[Don't worry, Erfeng, we've prepared cute plush kittens and big cats just as you said!
I guarantee you’ll like it! 】
Soon, when the little princess's hundred-day banquet came, Li Shimin received collective gifts from the modern people.
"This is the Gong Baiwan, milk beans, brown sugar, cheetahs, and penguins that our zoo director brought specially for the little princess to celebrate the New Year!
Let me make it clear first, you can only look at it and can’t take it away.”
The keeper lifted the cloth outside the cage and opened it. Cats such as the tiger and leopard came out with their big round eyes, looking around curiously.
All the people of the Tang Dynasty immediately took a deep breath. Li Guangbi instantly drew his sword and shouted:
"What are you all staring at? Protect His Majesty!
Capture all these thieves and thieves!"
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